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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you use your dying child?

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:47 AM
  • 40 Replies

OF COURSE NOT!

I know a lot of you moms are moody at times and we all don't get along and we all parent different but would you ever use your sick dying child as a reason to gain possessions? Meaning flat screen tv's, Ipads, Iphones, vacations etc?

My MIL told me before Christmas about this family whos son was sick and the family takes donations for him. Well I come to find out that the year before MIL set up to get a donation started for him to help the family with medical expenses and they instead used the money for a flat screen tv. Then they even said to her how this year (Dec. 2012) they would be buying Ipads and Iphones with the money. This little boy is 10 years old he is constantly in and out of the hospital and this is what they do. He is dying of cancer and his family is worried about valuables when their son should be the only valueable in this!

I want to add that they are again (1 month after the Christmas donation) to have another one for the boys sisters and to say that they need an Iphone because they said the little boy said he wanted to me able to call them from heaven. They also got people to make a donation and put them in a hotel for a day or two so they can have someone clean their home apparently MIL told me their house is filthy.

I am not sure how any of those things would even matter when you are about to loose a child. I have been told also that he had surgery to remove the cancer and it came back and the doctors told the family that if he had chemo it would save him and the family refused. I can understand you wanting to not put your child through something as harsh as chemo and I think that is the only understandable thing but I think for me I would still have them do it because I wouldn't want to loose my child and would do anything possible that would keep them with me longer.

Sorry I had to vent I am just really bothered that there are such greedy people in this world that would use your sick child as a means to get things. I told MIL I would ask HIM what he wanted and get it for him or make the donation to the hospital to help pay the hospital bills. I would not give that family anything unless it was strictly for the boy. MIL got him an outfit because she said all his clothes are small or torn or stained.

Thanks for lettting me vent.

ETA- Yes, this story was on the news ladies the boy is from Eastvale. I didn't realize it was even in the news until now but yes that is the one and that is the story but I unfortunately know more than the article says.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Hatred4none
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:54 AM
3 moms liked this

I would call cps. They don't have money to buy him clean fitted clothes but they're buying iPads and iPhones with medical aid, which they're not providing him?

BelleVernonGirl
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:59 AM

Wow OP where are you from?  This story sounds familiar!

melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:00 AM

I have been on both sides of this.  My daughter has cancer, please do not say when you would stop treatment for your child because until you are in the situation you will never know.  Me and my husband have talked about how far we will allow treatment to go, trust me it is not an easy decision.  Our community has done a lot for my family (you will understand why in a  minute why) and we where told with almost every donation that we where to get whatever Amber needed, wanted or to take her wherever she wanted to go.  We also set up a PO box for her for people to send her get well cards.  I set up a prayers page for her on Facebook and people I did not know wanted to send her cards and I did not feel comfortable giving my home address.  Some people sent her money and she saved up enough to get herself an IPAD, that was her money, not mine.  Now the reason we have received the support we have is because my husband is a local DJ (mainly bars and clubs) and we do benefits all the time for people in the community that are struggling.  We have done some for sick kids, people that have lost their homes in a fire and we just did one yesterday for a guy who needs a lung transplant.  The hardest one was for a girl I went to school with, her son was dying of cancer, the money was suppose to go to bury him, but she called and asked me if they could take him to Disney before he passed away, I told her I would be thrilled if she got to do that with him.  She did not get to take him because he passed away.  When we do benefits for people we do not attach strings to the money, we hope that they use it for what it is meant for, but if they don't they are the ones who have to live with that decision.  Just because we donate money/time to someone does not give me control of their bank account.  This is just how I personally feel.

jackieb2811
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:04 AM

Well the donations are just something that the teachers at the school do for their more critical students. They are not large amounts but enough that the parents could use to help pay some of the medical bills. I told her not to collect any money for the family or have anyone else do it but another teacher still wanted to and so they went and got the ipads with that money. I told MIL that that was stupid of her friend even after knowing the family would not spend it on the child but she said she had no control of that which is why MIL went and just bought him and outfit. I agree though cys (that is what it is in my state) needs to be involved...for all I know or she knows maybe they are i have no idea but if they are and they are not doing anything that is really sad!

Quoting Hatred4none:

I would call cps. They don't have money to buy him clean fitted clothes but they're buying iPads and iPhones with medical aid, which they're not providing him?



jackieb2811
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:12 AM

Yes but you are involved and helping others and yes your dd is the one that chose that and that is fine but this little boy spend more time in the hospital than home because the home is so dirty he is always sick so how is HE enjoying the tv. The family never attends any functions they have for the kids, and MIL said the mom and dad are the ones who made the choice to get the tv, phones and ipads not the son and if he had why did they once again have to ask for donations for him to get a phone if he asked for it he would have had one but no the mom and dad were the only ones who got phones. I didn't say what I would do I said I know it would be hard to say because I know how hard chemo can be and I am sorry about your dd I will pray for her. I can't and will never know unless I am faced with this choice to say but I know the mother in me would want to try to be with her child but the human in me would know that making them suffer through chemo is more like torture and it would hurt me even more to watch that. My post was mainly about them taking things out of greed. You give back just as much as you give and that is honorable. Nothing about them and how they are doing things is.

Quoting melakay1981:

I have been on both sides of this.  My daughter has cancer, please do not say when you would stop treatment for your child because until you are in the situation you will never know.  Me and my husband have talked about how far we will allow treatment to go, trust me it is not an easy decision.  Our community has done a lot for my family (you will understand why in a  minute why) and we where told with almost every donation that we where to get whatever Amber needed, wanted or to take her wherever she wanted to go.  We also set up a PO box for her for people to send her get well cards.  I set up a prayers page for her on Facebook and people I did not know wanted to send her cards and I did not feel comfortable giving my home address.  Some people sent her money and she saved up enough to get herself an IPAD, that was her money, not mine.  Now the reason we have received the support we have is because my husband is a local DJ (mainly bars and clubs) and we do benefits all the time for people in the community that are struggling.  We have done some for sick kids, people that have lost their homes in a fire and we just did one yesterday for a guy who needs a lung transplant.  The hardest one was for a girl I went to school with, her son was dying of cancer, the money was suppose to go to bury him, but she called and asked me if they could take him to Disney before he passed away, I told her I would be thrilled if she got to do that with him.  She did not get to take him because he passed away.  When we do benefits for people we do not attach strings to the money, we hope that they use it for what it is meant for, but if they don't they are the ones who have to live with that decision.  Just because we donate money/time to someone does not give me control of their bank account.  This is just how I personally feel.



jackieb2811
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:13 AM

I am from beaver county.

Quoting BelleVernonGirl:

Wow OP where are you from?  This story sounds familiar!



melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:16 AM

For some reason I think I know who you are talking about, if not there was a similar explosion on Facebook last week about something like this.  How old is the kid?  Just out of curiosity


Quoting jackieb2811:

Yes but you are involved and helping others and yes your dd is the one that chose that and that is fine but this little boy spend more time in the hospital than home because the home is so dirty he is always sick so how is HE enjoying the tv. The family never attends any functions they have for the kids, and MIL said the mom and dad are the ones who made the choice to get the tv, phones and ipads not the son and if he had why did they once again have to ask for donations for him to get a phone if he asked for it he would have had one but no the mom and dad were the only ones who got phones. I didn't say what I would do I said I know it would be hard to say because I know how hard chemo can be and I am sorry about your dd I will pray for her. I can't and will never know unless I am faced with this choice to say but I know the mother in me would want to try to be with her child but the human in me would know that making them suffer through chemo is more like torture and it would hurt me even more to watch that. My post was mainly about them taking things out of greed. You give back just as much as you give and that is honorable. Nothing about them and how they are doing things is.

Quoting melakay1981:

I have been on both sides of this.  My daughter has cancer, please do not say when you would stop treatment for your child because until you are in the situation you will never know.  Me and my husband have talked about how far we will allow treatment to go, trust me it is not an easy decision.  Our community has done a lot for my family (you will understand why in a  minute why) and we where told with almost every donation that we where to get whatever Amber needed, wanted or to take her wherever she wanted to go.  We also set up a PO box for her for people to send her get well cards.  I set up a prayers page for her on Facebook and people I did not know wanted to send her cards and I did not feel comfortable giving my home address.  Some people sent her money and she saved up enough to get herself an IPAD, that was her money, not mine.  Now the reason we have received the support we have is because my husband is a local DJ (mainly bars and clubs) and we do benefits all the time for people in the community that are struggling.  We have done some for sick kids, people that have lost their homes in a fire and we just did one yesterday for a guy who needs a lung transplant.  The hardest one was for a girl I went to school with, her son was dying of cancer, the money was suppose to go to bury him, but she called and asked me if they could take him to Disney before he passed away, I told her I would be thrilled if she got to do that with him.  She did not get to take him because he passed away.  When we do benefits for people we do not attach strings to the money, we hope that they use it for what it is meant for, but if they don't they are the ones who have to live with that decision.  Just because we donate money/time to someone does not give me control of their bank account.  This is just how I personally feel.





melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:17 AM

My daughter is treated at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh.  You are not far from there


Quoting jackieb2811:

I am from beaver county.

Quoting BelleVernonGirl:

Wow OP where are you from?  This story sounds familiar!





Hatred4none
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:18 AM


I understand not wanting to put your child through more suffering, but when doctor says he's good to do chemo, meaning physically able, have them (cys) get a psychiatrist opinion on whether he's mentally fit for it. Then if both lights are green, then were back to family thinking of themselves only and not wanting to see him suffer any more rather than him suffering and then, God -Willing, him living his life. 

Quoting jackieb2811:

Well the donations are just something that the teachers at the school do for their more critical students. They are not large amounts but enough that the parents could use to help pay some of the medical bills. I told her not to collect any money for the family or have anyone else do it but another teacher still wanted to and so they went and got the ipads with that money. I told MIL that that was stupid of her friend even after knowing the family would not spend it on the child but she said she had no control of that which is why MIL went and just bought him and outfit. I agree though cys (that is what it is in my state) needs to be involved...for all I know or she knows maybe they are i have no idea but if they are and they are not doing anything that is really sad!

Quoting Hatred4none:

I would call cps. They don't have money to buy him clean fitted clothes but they're buying iPads and iPhones with medical aid, which they're not providing him?





OneToughMami
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:22 AM
There was just a local story last year about a little girl who's mom lied about her having cancer :-( she did this what these people are doing
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