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Am I wrong?? I feel lied to UPDATED

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Update: when he came home, without my asking, he showed me the receipts from the bank. He said it took 5 mins @ the bank, he had to take money out and put into his bro's account as per lawyers request so he could show he has money, that's another matter that I do know about. He then returned the money back to our account all in a few mins. He asked why I'm suspicious. I said one day I feel like you will up and do something to cause a situation where our family will break up. I've been a Sahm for nearly 11 years. He earns well. My teaching job will get me 35 K to raise our kids. I don't know if I can count on him through the years because of these little things he does. He said he bought this big house for us, the cars, my staying home is for me and the kids. That we will grow old together. He said money isn't everything, and it shouldn't be the only thing to keep me feeling secure.

My dh went out this morning to drop his bro off to work. It only takes about 30 mins altogether, so when it was getting to be an hour I texted dh saying I will head out for errands since you're still not home. No reply from him.

i know he is also taking the same bro to the lawyer to sort out some things for the guy. I always suspect he is paying for the lawyer fees, but it is taboo in our home to bring it up. Apparently I am lucky to be  a Sahm, I'm taken care of and o are the kids.

when I left to do my errands, I had a nagging feeling he would be at the bank. No big deal, but I followed my gut and there is our car at the bank. I text him saying what's holding him up. He says he went to the sports store as the kids needed something etc. I said, ok I thought you were at the bank till a few mins ago.

he replies no.

I said, I saw the car there. He says I saw you drive off too, why are you spying on me? I don't know either. I knew he probably was taking money out to pay the lawyer. The same month, where he said he didn't have enough to give me my usual monthly spending money.

im hurt, I told him if I lied how would you feel? I'm your wife you should include me on what's going on. I unloaded a lot of feelings. Etc etc. we ended up in a huge fight. 


Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:49 AM
Replies (11-20):
.oOMellyOo.
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:54 PM

Lies are never ok.... no matter the circumstance. 

silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:57 PM

do you any knowledge of your finances? i would be checking your account

if you are able i would get a job. espcially after he said you should feel lucky


EvilAsh
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:59 PM

You don't have access to your bank accounts so you can check? If you have the money, what's the big deal if he's helping his brother out? I don't really understand the issue. I get that I'd be pissed if my husband was lying though.

ChanellesMommy
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:00 PM
Your lucky your a sahm? Really? This is honestly the reason why I chose to work and not be a sahm I would be pissed if my so threw that in my face because staying home with the kids cooking and cleaning is a job to bad he doesn't appreciate that, and yes I would be mad to if he lied to me especially about something petty like that's just my opinion.
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jas_momof2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:04 PM

How do you know he was at the bank because of the lawyer?  Could he not have gone to get money for the sports store?  Maybe that's where he was headed? 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I know, it could have been to o anything. But, he pays credit card for everything, clears it off at the end if the month.

Quoting jas_momof2:

How do you know he was at the bank because of the lawyer?  Could he not have gone to get money for the sports store?  Maybe that's where he was headed? 



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:40 PM

I can check. Just last month he told me to return my spending allowance back to the bank. That's why I suppose I'm mad if he's helping his bro. It's not really an issue. He earns well to help his own family every month and take care of me and the kids.

Quoting EvilAsh:

You don't have access to your bank accounts so you can check? If you have the money, what's the big deal if he's helping his brother out? I don't really understand the issue. I get that I'd be pissed if my husband was lying though.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:44 PM
Well first there is nothing taboo to talk to DH about. That would not work in my house. I would feel lied to also. Why is he so private about things. Marriage is a team, not a one player game.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:46 PM
He sounds like an asshole!
Abby.N.Amys.Mom
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM

Umm.. I couldn't live like that.  He seems to like the fact that you depend on him so much.  Like he feeds off it.

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