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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

this is crazy. what do i do?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
When I was ten, my parents divorced. When I was 12, my mother remarried.
I lives with them until I moved out when I was eighteen. So, six years. He took me to the Dr when I was sick, taught me to drive...After I got married, and had my children, he was their grandfather. My dad hasn't been much of a part in my life.

A little over a year ago, my mom and my stepfather, (whom had been my father figure) were getting divorced. I was hurt, but knew that it was their lives, and their choice.
During the process, I found out that all of this time they were together, all the time I had known him, he wasn't who they had claimed him to be.
He had apperently done a crime and spent over a decade on the run with my family. And my mother knew the whole time! I was shocked and hurt, to say the least.
After they divorced, he decided that he needed to turn himself in. He has done some time and is now on parole.

He wants to take a trip down here in a few weeks, after he can get permission. Well, his parole officer faxed me a "permission slip" for me to sign giving him permission to see my children.
I was looking over the paperwork, and it is informing me that **** *** (his real name, which I never knew until after the fact and its still weird to see) is a convicted sexual abuser, and that by signing this paper, I agree to never leave my children alone with him, and that I am aware that he has not completed a program.

This is so strange to me, and so unreal. I feel weird to sign this piece of paper because of what it says. On the other hand, he was my dad! I loved him as my father!

I'm so confused. What do I do?
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Bump
purpleducky
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry, it says sexual abuser and children are not to be alone with him. I would not sign it and cut off all contact.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:16 PM
That is a tough one.. I know that he was a big part of your life for a long time but I don't know that I would ever allow ANY one that commited sexual assult near my children. They will always come first. I am sorry you have to go through this it must be shocking. Not that it really makes a difference but was the assult on an adult or child? It sounds like it took hím À long time but it is good that he tried to right his wrong and serve his time
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:19 PM

 Wow that is certainly a lot of new info for you to process. I do not know what I would do if I was you, but I would lean towards no. What was his sexual crime?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:22 PM
It doesnt say whether it was a minor or not, but I'm assuming so because the papers say not to leave my children with him.

I haven't asked. He sent me letters from prison, and called a couple of times. But, we have never really discussed it.

I am so confused right now. I just don't know how to process this. Dh isn't sure how to handle this either.

Quoting Anonymous:

That is a tough one.. I know that he was a big part of your life for a long time but I don't know that I would ever allow ANY one that commited sexual assult near my children. They will always come first. I am sorry you have to go through this it must be shocking. Not that it really makes a difference but was the assult on an adult or child? It sounds like it took hím À long time but it is good that he tried to right his wrong and serve his time
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:27 PM
I know you know this man as your "dad" but I don't think you would ever be able to forgive yourself if you knowingly allowed someone convicted of sexual assult into your home and something happened to them Maybe visit with him alone, find out the details and then decide


Quoting Anonymous:

It doesnt say whether it was a minor or not, but I'm assuming so because the papers say not to leave my children with him.



I haven't asked. He sent me letters from prison, and called a couple of times. But, we have never really discussed it.



I am so confused right now. I just don't know how to process this. Dh isn't sure how to handle this either.



Quoting Anonymous:

That is a tough one.. I know that he was a big part of your life for a long time but I don't know that I would ever allow ANY one that commited sexual assult near my children. They will always come first. I am sorry you have to go through this it must be shocking. Not that it really makes a difference but was the assult on an adult or child? It sounds like it took hím À long time but it is good that he tried to right his wrong and serve his time

Caitlin1983
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:28 PM
Your mother let you be alone with him all the time? I would be so mad at her!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:30 PM
Trust me, she and I have had a difficult year or so. I'm angry and hurt.

All of this is shocking to me still. I'm angry at her that I even have to deal with this.

Quoting Caitlin1983:

Your mother let you be alone with him all the time? I would be so mad at her!
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:33 PM
I will definitely not be letting him take them anywhere, or leave them with him. I know that he wants to see his grandchildren, though. That's what makes it so hard. My oldest asks me about him often and would love to see him. It's just hard.
I hate that I have to deal with this.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know you know this man as your "dad" but I don't think you would ever be able to forgive yourself if you knowingly allowed someone convicted of sexual assult into your home and something happened to them Maybe visit with him alone, find out the details and then decide




Quoting Anonymous:

It doesnt say whether it was a minor or not, but I'm assuming so because the papers say not to leave my children with him.





I haven't asked. He sent me letters from prison, and called a couple of times. But, we have never really discussed it.





I am so confused right now. I just don't know how to process this. Dh isn't sure how to handle this either.





Quoting Anonymous:

That is a tough one.. I know that he was a big part of your life for a long time but I don't know that I would ever allow ANY one that commited sexual assult near my children. They will always come first. I am sorry you have to go through this it must be shocking. Not that it really makes a difference but was the assult on an adult or child? It sounds like it took hím À long time but it is good that he tried to right his wrong and serve his time

artistmom27
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:18 PM

Personally, I wouldn't allow him around. He wasn't even man enough to be honest with you from the beginning.

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