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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't know what to do with my daughter anymore, i am about to give up on her. update

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 197 Replies

 My daughter is 13 years old. we have been having problems with her for awhile.

In November we had her  baker acted for threatening to kill herself. she stayed the whole weekend.

Today about 30 min ago she told me she needed to get a book out of my car. she comes back in and my husband had a feeling he needed to check her pockets. She had a lighter and a cig butt in her back pocket.  we jumped her ass and took her TV away from her, the only thing she has gotten back , she has lost everything else due to other problems. she start screaming she is going to kill herself tonight, she is saying it over and over again, she says she has no reason to live.

I can't do this anymore, i am through, my nerve can't deal with this anymore. I am on the verge of a nervious breakdown.

she says she isn't smoking, i asked her why did she have a cig butt , she says she don't know. I smoke and i have always talked to my kids about how bad it is and that i better not ever find out either one of them are smoking. i know lead by example, it is a habit i can't seem to break.

This whole killing herself, i don't know what to do anymore, this is the 2nd time she has said this and last time she was baker acted for the weekend this time if we did it again it would be for a month, all of this is over us finding a cig butt and a lighter in her pocket. The last time was over her TV.

She used to not be like this, all of this behavior started last year, when we moved and she started this school. This is why we are looking into moving and getting her into a different school.
I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please help me, i am lost. I am about to give up.

update:

Tonight before she went to bed. I went to her room and try to talk to her. She wouldn't do much talking but she wasn't screaming. I asked her about the cig butt and the lighter because that is what started this whole mess. She still says she isn't smoking. She says she don't know where the cig butt came from and the lighter she got out of my car and she light to plays with lighter. I told her let say you are telling the truth. Put yourself in my position, you are  a mom and you have a 13 and you find a cig butt and alighter in her back pocket, what would you think? she said that she is smoking.

Then i talked to her about the threatening to kill herself. I asked her why? she said because you took my stuff. I started crying and i told her, that i don't want to send her back to the  Centers again, but i will because i don't want to wake up and find my daughter dead, i told her i love her and she has her whole life ahead of her. high school, college, a husband, children. that her stuff is just material object. She can earn her stuff back she just has to show me responsibility and maturity.  I asked her if anything is going on at school and she said NO, everything is fine at school, she loves school.  I told her she can talk to me about anything. I told her we are  scheduling her an appointment at the center in lancanto tomorrow to see if we can find out what is going on with her but i really wished she would talk to me. I told her I love her and her and her brother are the 2 most important people in my life and it would kill me if anything happen to anyone of them.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
beachbabies6
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:18 PM

Get her some help , trust me it only gets worse 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:21 PM

 we had her in therapy, it didn't help.

Quoting beachbabies6:

Get her some help , trust me it only gets worse 

 

stephiebugg
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:24 PM
3 moms liked this

 Meds? 
I think kids often use suicide threats to get their way.
Maybe sit her down and talk to her about smoking. Make a plan to quit- together.

beachbabies6
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:25 PM
2 moms liked this


I'm going through it with my 16 yr old , she's bipolar suspected but not diagnosed yet as boardeline personality disorder , she's been through different therapies , they are now suggesting one called dbt therapy , just keep trying something will work 

Quoting Anonymous:

 we had her in therapy, it didn't help.

Quoting beachbabies6:

Get her some help , trust me it only gets worse 




amandae21
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:26 PM
10 moms liked this

You seriously cannot smoke and expect your kids not to smoke.

Homeschool her. She's probably miserable in her school.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:26 PM

 she has adhd and take meds for that. I had her check for depression and they said she don't have it.

I have talked to her over and over again along with my son about smoking. She even did a project in 5th grade about how smoking effects your health and she said then she will never do  that disgusting habit,. but that was back in our good days before i lost who she really was, i don't know who she is anymore. This is more than just puberty, i know that now. but i don't know what it is.

Quoting stephiebugg:

 Meds? 
I think kids often use suicide threats to get their way.
Maybe sit her down and talk to her about smoking. Make a plan to quit- together.

 

xanayda
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Idk? hope you all figure it out. :( bump.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bi-polarmommy
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this
sometimes you have to go through several therapist before one works, and most of the time you dont see results for a few months or longer

Quoting Anonymous:

 we had her in therapy, it didn't help.


Quoting beachbabies6:


Get her some help , trust me it only gets worse 


 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:29 PM

 yea but they should be smoking at 13.

 I have mention homeschooling her and she says if i take her out of school she will run away. she loves school and all of her messed up emo freinds. I need to get her away from them and fast.

Quoting amandae21:

You seriously cannot smoke and expect your kids not to smoke.

Homeschool her. She's probably miserable in her school.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:32 PM
1 mom liked this

baker acted?


13 is young to be acting this way! could she be getting bullied at school? have you tried talking to her to find out what is wrong or is that just imposssible at this point? look into some boarding schools. even if you just get some brochures and show her, see if that sets her ass straight and if not maybe you no choice but to send her. My mom did the boarding school thing with me and all it took was one glance at those brochures and i was on my best behavior.....until i hit 16 atleast lol

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