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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What are some ways to keep my baby safe from her dad...maybe visitation.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies

I don't live with her dad, but we have been engaged 1 year, and together for 1 year before the engagement. We lived together for 6 months, just fine. But our jobs seperated us TEMPORARILY. 
He's been acting distant, so I look through his messages and he flat out states in a message to his best friend that he cheated on me with his girlfriend ONE MONTH after dd was born! And then goes onto say "She's all yours now, I'm marrying my girl."
I'm shattered. He also may have some substance abuse problems. His mother threatened to hurt our baby, as well. I don't want child support. I just may want to get a restraining order and file a report on his mother... He is begging for my forgiveness, gave me his password to everything, deleted his FB account and is "dedicating his life to winning me back."
1. I broke up with him.
2. I never am marrying him.
3. He's not seeing our daughter until he grows the fuck up.
I told im he better get into a nice house, no more idiot friends, and he will have to start taking drug tests if he wants to see her again. I told him that I'd update him on her improvement but that's it. He's lost me, but still has hope for some odd reason...
Do you think I am being too lenient? What other precautions should I take? He will only be getting supervised custody, but I really don't want to take him to court, or his money. Should I get this custody thing done now?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:33 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:41 PM

BUMP!

RLT2
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:51 PM

Well the first thing is, yes, I think you should take his money. You have to remember that the money isn't "yours" technically, it's your child's money. If you do not feel comfortable using that money for everyday expenses, then open a bank account for her and start saving it. One day she'll be very happy to have money for school, a car etc.  Also, you want him to show you that he's "growing up" and is responsible. One of the biggest indicators of that is a willingness and capability to take care of his child, so let him. If you're worried that accepting his money means that you have to let him have visitation, that will be up to the courts. It won't matter whether you accepted his money or not, only if he is a fit parent. I do think you should get on that custody thing immediately.Good Luck, I hope everything works out!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:52 PM

 Should I get this custody thing done now?

The answer to this is always yes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks!!!

Quoting RLT2:

Well the first thing is, yes, I think you should take his money. You have to remember that the money isn't "yours" technically, it's your child's money. If you do not feel comfortable using that money for everyday expenses, then open a bank account for her and start saving it. One day she'll be very happy to have money for school, a car etc.  Also, you want him to show you that he's "growing up" and is responsible. One of the biggest indicators of that is a willingness and capability to take care of his child, so let him. If you're worried that accepting his money means that you have to let him have visitation, that will be up to the courts. It won't matter whether you accepted his money or not, only if he is a fit parent. I do think you should get on that custody thing immediately.Good Luck, I hope everything works out!


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