custody question what would you do?? Edit :-)

[Anonymous]

Lets say you and your childrens father have been seperated for three years. During this time he has paid little to no child support. Rarely seen your kids twice a month if they were lucky. You don't have a court agreement. You tried to do the civil thing and work with his "random work schedule" made agreements and every agreement you made he broke and never followed through. No all the sudden he wants you to automatically give him 50/50 custody and take them three and a half days a week. Would you agree with him even though the last three years he was not there. What would you do?

Edit* Going to court house first thing this morning after I drop my kids off at school. My friend is meeting me for support and to make sure I follow through. I can be easily pushed into things but have stuck to my guns on this one. Thank you all for your input.

[Anonymous]

Nope he wants that let's go to court.

No man in their right mind would do that all of a sudden a woman somewhere is pushing him too.

[ccnstanczak]

 if it benifited the kids than yes i would, though going from barley anything to 50/50 would be very rough.

[Anonymous]

I would want a court order no matter what.

[Amybelle]

Sounds like he's matured, realized what is important and wants to be involved......why would you want to deny your child a Father who has seen the error of his ways and is making a change for the  good

[MrsDavidB25]

 Do you guys live close enough for 50/50 to even work? How old are the kids and what do they want?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't just start handing them over, he's practically a stranger to them. He'd have to fight me for it, and if all of a sudden he's so interested in being in their lives, he'd have to start paying regular support. Can you get an attorney?  I could be wrong in my attitude but someone who practically abandons his family for three years wouldn't be getting my automatic respect or cooperation.

[Misery_Stitches]

I would agree only if we were to build up to it (start off 1 day a week for a while, then 2 days etc) for the childrens sake... if he was serious about it, he would agree too.

[Aeonix]

If he's not a bad influence on the kids and has just been flaky, I would work up to 50/50 gradually, to make sure he's serious and to help the kids transition. I do think you need something in writing though. Good luck whatever you decide.

[rvb146]

Are you sure that he's not wanting 50/50 to get out of child support?

[Anonymous]

Nope, don't agree to it. It would be hard on the kids. And GET A COURT ORDER!!! That way if he ever tries something stupid you have it in writing the way it should be. Hopefully he doesn't realize that he can take the kids and just not give them back. You guys may be civil right now, but hell, my ex and I were too, then he flipped one night and kept my son from me. Get a court order, please, I don't want that possibility for anyone