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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Not even going to bother going anon for this

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:47 AM
  • 35 Replies
1 mom liked this
I didn't sleep at all last night , tossing and turning , horrible headache , heartburn , bad dreams ugh. I am worried sick about my cousin who had the baby girl yesterday at 24+3 , it really really upsets me and scares me because now it's just a little more obvious that women who have severe pre eclampsia and HELLP early on in their first pregnancy are more than likely going to face the same with a second pregnancy. Often earlier and more severe than the first time.

So last night I brought those fears up with my husband , I also go for my annual exam this month and told him I'm considering switching birth control types to the 10 year implant in your arm. His first reaction was " I will be 40 in ten years " I said yes ..... But I don't want to do anything permanent and take that option completely away incase we change our mind in being one and done with my medical history of severe early onset pre eclampsia and HELLP and all of Charlie's special needs. Which then started the conversation of how he feels its not fair to take away from Charlie and he's happy with one and who knows where he will be health wise in 10 years and what level of care he will need ...... But he will be 40 in ten years.

What the hell are you saying to me ? Are you just as on the fence about future kids as I am or are you for sure about no more ? I just need to know where he stands before I go for my annual.

And truthfully yes I do want another child but in my heart I know I could not handle another pre term delivery and I know it wouldn't be fair to Charlie to risk my life for another baby so in the same breath no I do not see us having anymore.

So why is it so difficult to agree on a ten year implant?

Ugh sorry guys I needed to talk to somebody about this who's unbiased in our lives.
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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Charliesmommy11
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:50 AM
Bump because I'm not going back to bed Charlie will be up in about an hour.
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spunky946
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:52 AM
I had preeclampsia with my first, but not my second. Maybe you won't either.

I don't blame him.
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Aamy
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:54 AM
Doesn't mean you will have the same issues with a second pregnancy.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:54 AM
Adopt?
Charliesmommy11
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:55 AM
I think that's what holds me back from outright saying no more. Because I know thousands of women have successful second third and even fourth pregnancies after having pre e with their first. But then you throw HELLP syndrome in there and the fact that it onset at 18 weeks and its just ugh I don't know. : ( I don't want to take anything away from Charlie he deserves the world and a healthy mom but I never imagined him growing up an only child.


Quoting spunky946:

I had preeclampsia with my first, but not my second. Maybe you won't either.



I don't blame him.

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Charliesmommy11
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:56 AM
We talked about that briefly as Dh was adopted. Not really sure how he feels about it though.


Quoting Anonymous:

Adopt?

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Charliesmommy11
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:56 AM
I know , I think that's what stops me from just outright saying no more.


Quoting Aamy:

Doesn't mean you will have the same issues with a second pregnancy.

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EvilAsh
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:57 AM

Why not just get the implant. It's not permanent. It can be removed. I had Mirena placed and a year after we decided to try for another baby. It didn't happen right away because of complications from it. So whatever you choose, research the product if you haven't already. I wish I knew Mirena could cause cysts, my doc never mentioned that.

raegansmom
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:57 AM
I have an only child who will always be an only. I have a different set if medical issues than you, but one of the reasons she will always be an only is because I feel it would be very selfish of me to try to have another child. What if my health (or life) or the baby's life/ health suffered due to my health issues? I would never forgive myself. I've come to terms a with, and am very happy with our family of 3. I don't think anyone other than you & your dh can make this decision for you. It's very personal.
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momof2gingers
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:59 AM
When he says "taking away from Charlie" I take it he's referring to Charlie being an only child? If so, I am an only child. My mother had to have multiple blood transfusions after I was born, and decided I was going to be her only after the doctors cautioned her she could lose more blood the next time. So, speaking from my experience, is better to be an only child than a motherless child.

I say you're being responsible and honest about this, and maybe he'll be able to think about it and wrap his head around it. Like you said its not permanent.
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