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Not even going to bother going anon for this

I didn't sleep at all last night , tossing and turning , horrible headache , heartburn , bad dreams ugh. I am worried sick about my cousin who had the baby girl yesterday at 24+3 , it really really upsets me and scares me because now it's just a little more obvious that women who have severe pre eclampsia and HELLP early on in their first pregnancy are more than likely going to face the same with a second pregnancy. Often earlier and more severe than the first time.

So last night I brought those fears up with my husband , I also go for my annual exam this month and told him I'm considering switching birth control types to the 10 year implant in your arm. His first reaction was " I will be 40 in ten years " I said yes ..... But I don't want to do anything permanent and take that option completely away incase we change our mind in being one and done with my medical history of severe early onset pre eclampsia and HELLP and all of Charlie's special needs. Which then started the conversation of how he feels its not fair to take away from Charlie and he's happy with one and who knows where he will be health wise in 10 years and what level of care he will need ...... But he will be 40 in ten years.

What the hell are you saying to me ? Are you just as on the fence about future kids as I am or are you for sure about no more ? I just need to know where he stands before I go for my annual.

And truthfully yes I do want another child but in my heart I know I could not handle another pre term delivery and I know it wouldn't be fair to Charlie to risk my life for another baby so in the same breath no I do not see us having anymore.

So why is it so difficult to agree on a ten year implant?

Ugh sorry guys I needed to talk to somebody about this who's unbiased in our lives.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:47 AM
Replies (31-35):
funny_girl3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I had preeclampsia with my first pregnancy, my husband got scared and said no more babies, but 8 years later I convinced him that we should try again.  I was amazed that the doctors seem to know more about preeclampsia, and my doctor did some things to try to ward it off with my second pregnancy.  Also, my ob told me that preeclampsia is less severe for most women in the second pregnancy.  I didn't even get it in my second pregnancy, but I did have high blood pressure that didn't go away after delivery, so now I have high blood pressure.  :(   Anyway, I was very unhappy when my husband made the decision to not have any more kids, he made that decision for me and didn't care what I wanted.  I'm not saying that is your situation exactly, just saying that you should talk about it more and come to a decision you both agree to.

kolbiesmommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:34 AM
Have you spoken with your doctor about this? What's his stance on you having another baby? Does he think you'll be fine or does he warn not to have one?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Charliesmommy11
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:38 AM
He's basically at the moment not ok with us having another so soon (22 months ) after the first. But he says IF we should ever decide on a second baby we would be on medication and three times weekly monitoring and tests of different varieties. So he did not say no but he did properly advise us of the risks and percentages of it happening again.


Quoting kolbiesmommy:

Have you spoken with your doctor about this? What's his stance on you having another baby? Does he think you'll be fine or does he warn not to have one?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kolbiesmommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:42 AM
So basically at high risk. Hmm..idk thats a toughy. I was high risk, but both my babies ended up being healthy and not born early so I'm not the same. But yeah I would wait. Your body isnt even fully healed yet. Takes at least 2 yrs.

Quoting Charliesmommy11:

He's basically at the moment not ok with us having another so soon (22 months ) after the first. But he says IF we should ever decide on a second baby we would be on medication and three times weekly monitoring and tests of different varieties. So he did not say no but he did properly advise us of the risks and percentages of it happening again.




Quoting kolbiesmommy:

Have you spoken with your doctor about this? What's his stance on you having another baby? Does he think you'll be fine or does he warn not to have one?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:39 AM
True well I wish you guys luck!!!


Quoting Charliesmommy11:

We talked about that briefly as Dh was adopted. Not really sure how he feels about it though.




Quoting Anonymous:

Adopt?


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