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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is your child lazy???

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

My DD is 4 and as time has been point im starting to feel like my own child is kind of a slacker??? She literally gives up in 5 seconds on everything which is totally opposite of myself and her father. We are both very stubborn, strong willed and we never give up easily. But with DD we have noticed that when we tell her to clean her room she starts crying and says "I cant!! its too hard" which either results in her taking forever to clean it or flat out refusing so we take her toys away. Then with little things like trying to put her dolls clothes on, she runs out and says I CANT!! And I tell her no, you have to learn how to do things yourself I cant keep doing everything for you. So ill watch her pretend like shes trying and then she gives up and throws a fit. Of course I DO NOT give in because we dont reward her when she throws a fit. Then she asks me where something is and she says I CANT FIND IT!!! If you watch her she will literally walk into her room turn the light on, turn it right back off and run out complaining she cant find it when she clearly made zero effort. So I try to explain to her and show her how to search for things and do things but then later on she claims ignorance, I KNOW she is smart and she can easily do these things but she just seems lazy and gives up sooo fast. It makes me sad I dont want my baby to be a quitter, I want her to try her hardest at everything...

Is this just an age thing or have I done something wrong??

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Muffins89
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:39 AM
My daughter is 3 and is somewhat the same way but the way we get her to pick up is by HELPING her. She does things a lot better with help. Sure they need to learn to do things themselves but it has to start somewhere and there's nothing wrong with helping them, just don't do most of the work. OR other times we Give her a penny per toy she picks up and I tell her what to pick up and where to put it. She does one thing at a time and it works that way. She likes getting money for her piggy bank too so.. When it comes to dressing dolls or things like that when she gives up and says she can't I show her how and explain what I'm doing then have her try again. I don't expect her to just go and do everything without help and guidance. If I did that, she would never do anything lol
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:41 AM


Quoting Muffins89:

My daughter is 3 and is somewhat the same way but the way we get her to pick up is by HELPING her. She does things a lot better with help. Sure they need to learn to do things themselves but it has to start somewhere and there's nothing wrong with helping them, just don't do most of the work. OR other times we Give her a penny per toy she picks up and I tell her what to pick up and where to put it. She does one thing at a time and it works that way. She likes getting money for her piggy bank too so.. When it comes to dressing dolls or things like that when she gives up and says she can't I show her how and explain what I'm doing then have her try again. I don't expect her to just go and do everything without help and guidance. If I did that, she would never do anything lol

 I have helped her though a MILLION times I swear im not an evil mom lol ...DH and I have just come to the realization that we have to start letting her be more self sufficient or shes going to be lazy and always depend on us. I have showed her how to clean her room a million times and where everything goes, you can even pick an item up and ask her where it goes and she will tell you! But she sure wont put it there lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:43 AM
2 moms liked this
I think its just the age. Tasks can get overwhelming for them. Try giving her a more specific job. instead of clean your room, try pick up clothes and place in laundry basket or make your bed, and then after she does that give another specific task. Also, help her. Do it together so she doesnt get overwhelmed and frustrated
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:43 AM
My son is the same damn way.
Blue_Spiral
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:45 AM


I don't know because my kid is only two but I'm pretty sure I've seen a lot of 4 year olds act that way.

I'm sure if you just keep doing what you're doing it will improve. 

And if it doesn't, she'll grow up and learn well enough LOL

RLT2
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:45 AM

She's not lazy, she's 4. I have one too, it's very frustrating.

Muffins89
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Lol well idk then. That's just what I do for mine but again she's only 3 and it works most of the time, my 18 mo old picks up when she sees others picking up otherwise she doesn't normally put things away (sometimes she will but rarely) but I don't expect a whole lot from her yet. I'm sure there's probably other ways to get your dd to do what she's supposed to I just can't think of any right now lol. Haven't come to that point myself yet.


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Muffins89:

My daughter is 3 and is somewhat the same way but the way we get her to pick up is by HELPING her. She does things a lot better with help. Sure they need to learn to do things themselves but it has to start somewhere and there's nothing wrong with helping them, just don't do most of the work. OR other times we Give her a penny per toy she picks up and I tell her what to pick up and where to put it. She does one thing at a time and it works that way. She likes getting money for her piggy bank too so.. When it comes to dressing dolls or things like that when she gives up and says she can't I show her how and explain what I'm doing then have her try again. I don't expect her to just go and do everything without help and guidance. If I did that, she would never do anything lol

 I have helped her though a MILLION times I swear im not an evil mom lol ...DH and I have just come to the realization that we have to start letting her be more self sufficient or shes going to be lazy and always depend on us. I have showed her how to clean her room a million times and where everything goes, you can even pick an item up and ask her where it goes and she will tell you! But she sure wont put it there lol


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do11face
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:46 AM

It's a normal developmental stage.

Annoying but normal, lol.

AleaKat
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:46 AM
He definetely has lazy moment especially with reading.
He'll look at the picture and try to guess the words instead if sounding them out. He reads very well when he put forth an effort but he just gets lazy with it.
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coala
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:50 AM

My 4 yo went through this starting just before her 4th birthday.  She has never been like this.  She now says "I can't do it" as she is doing the task and having a temper tantrum at the same time.  It has gotten better and she can now make her bed or clean her room w/o much of an issue.  Just be patient with her.  Send her back in multiple times and tell her that if isn't going to cooperate then she can take a time out.

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