***Is it SELFISH to have an only child and....
- 146 Replies
Not provide him/her with a sibling ?
Some siblings hate each other.... it's not all rainbows and unicorns.
Quoting Anonymous:That is not the same. No one can understand your grief or better explain a memory or how your parents were then a sibling. Siblings can be a best friend and a parent rolled into 1. There is no way I can confide in a friend, or look to my parents about my parents passing away. Only my brother. Siblings, if raised right have unconditional love and have almost no limit o things they will do to help another.
Quoting SommelierMom:
Quoting Anonymous:I want you to imagine this, and its probably a tear jerker, how would you feel if you pass away and your child is left with no one to grieve with. No one to talk about memories with. Share secrets. Help support. Just make another baby, you know you will love him or her anyway. You know you would do anything to provide and make things work out. You are asking if it's selfish because you probably KNOW you can handle it so why not?
Quoting Anonymous:Yes
My child can grieve with a spouse, friend or other relative.
Bullshit. Plenty of siblings were "raised right" and aren't close.
Why can't you confide in a friend about your parents passing away? If you didn't have your brother, you wouldn't be able to grieve? That's silly.
I understand what you're getting at, but having a sibling does not guarantee any of that. My husband has a brother who tried to kill him. My husband would have been better off as an only.
Quoting Anonymous:
When your child tries to recall a memory of Disney land or about you and wants to vent and take a trip down memory lane, who will understand him or her? About your eyes, your smile, your jokes, your smell, your reactions. And if you were god forbid dying of cancer or a disease, wouldn't you want your child to have someone helping them take care of you? How much can a friend, spouse or relative could take if they have other things to deal with. I let my ex handle the kids while me and bro made arrangements. no one else knows our struggles better than my own sibling.
Quoting SommelierMom:
Quoting Anonymous:
I want you to imagine this, and its probably a tear jerker, how would you feel if you pass away and your child is left with no one to grieve with. No one to talk about memories with. Share secrets. Help support. Just make another baby, you know you will love him or her anyway. You know you would do anything to provide and make things work out. You are asking if it's selfish because you probably KNOW you can handle it so why not?
Quoting Anonymous:
Yes
My child can grieve with a spouse, friend or other relative.
Quoting Anonymous:I want you to imagine this, and its probably a tear jerker, how would you feel if you pass away and your child is left with no one to grieve with. No one to talk about memories with. Share secrets. Help support. Just make another baby, you know you will love him or her anyway. You know you would do anything to provide and make things work out. You are asking if it's selfish because you probably KNOW you can handle it so why not?
Quoting Anonymous:Yes
Quoting Anonymous:
When your child tries to recall a memory of Disney land or about you and wants to vent and take a trip down memory lane, who will understand him or her? About your eyes, your smile, your jokes, your smell, your reactions. And if you were god forbid dying of cancer or a disease, wouldn't you want your child to have someone helping them take care of you? How much can a friend, spouse or relative could take if they have other things to deal with. I let my ex handle the kids while me and bro made arrangements. no one else knows our struggles better than my own sibling.
Quoting SommelierMom:
Quoting Anonymous:I want you to imagine this, and its probably a tear jerker, how would you feel if you pass away and your child is left with no one to grieve with. No one to talk about memories with. Share secrets. Help support. Just make another baby, you know you will love him or her anyway. You know you would do anything to provide and make things work out. You are asking if it's selfish because you probably KNOW you can handle it so why not?
Quoting Anonymous:Yes
My child can grieve with a spouse, friend or other relative.
A friend, spouse or relative can handle as much as a sibling, and likely more, as they won't be as distraught.
im not having another child so mine won't be alone after DH and I die. That's ludicrous. Hell, DD could die before we do.
You don't feel like you can love another child are you kidding me? You make it seem as though your first child is such a burden.And support groups? You know when I pass I want to make sure my kid is taken care. I wouldn't rely on spouses, friends, or "support groups" I'd make sure he has someone that understands him.
Quoting VannaMae307:My child will connect with other family, friends, and support groups if needed. I don't want another child and don't feel I'd love another child. I am not having one to appease my kid with a sibling...what a ridiculous idea. I'm the one paying to take care of a kid, not my son. I;m the one that would have to carry and birth another baby, not my son. He has cousins, neighbors, school friends, and church friends coming out the ears. He is NOT lonely.
I get along with 2 out of 4 of my siblings. Not everyone does so well with siblings.
Quoting Anonymous:I want you to imagine this, and its probably a tear jerker, how would you feel if you pass away and your child is left with no one to grieve with. No one to talk about memories with. Share secrets. Help support. Just make another baby, you know you will love him or her anyway. You know you would do anything to provide and make things work out. You are asking if it's selfish because you probably KNOW you can handle it so why not?
Quoting Anonymous:Yes
That's the ugliest name everrrr!!!