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Do you want to be a free-range parent but are afraid that someone will try to turn you in to social services for neglect?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
Example:

I want my kiddo to learn natural consequences as much as possible. Today she wants to go outside in a T-shirt, pants, and sandals in the snow. I want to let her, but I'm afraid that the neighbors will think my choice was neglectful, not calculated.

Sometimes I want to let her walk the dog around our driveway by herself. Part of the driveway is concealed by trees and I wouldn't be able to see her from my window. We live in a very rural area and very rarely get visitors, but I'm afraid the one time I'd let her walk by herself is the one time someone would come up and think I'm not watching my child.

What about you guys? Do you make parenting decisions based on what others will think and do, and not necessarily on what you think is best for your child?
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this
My fear is partly due to the area - small town, limited scope of "acceptable" parenting. I'm already a bit of an outcast because we don't eat meat.
tinkerbelle18
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:18 PM
2 moms liked this

I rarely worry about what others think. There are a few people who, if asked, I will explain my choices to but I parent(as does my dh) by what I think is best for my children.

jamamama00
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:20 PM

You have to in this day and age. Apparently there are a great deal of people out there who think that parenting differently than they would equals neglect and abuse.

jamamama00
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:22 PM

 I'm from a very small town in Texas where people legitimately think that NOT spanking your kid is neglectful. Seriously. Yet, it was not uncommon for us to drive our parents vehicles around town drinking beer at age 13/14. People are crazy LOL


Quoting Anonymous:

My fear is partly due to the area - small town, limited scope of "acceptable" parenting. I'm already a bit of an outcast because we don't eat meat.


 

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I have never parented based on what other people (inclcuding cps) might think.

For the record, I would let her go out in not enough clothes, and let her learn (if she is over, say 4).

I would base my decision on whether or not to let her walk the dog around on her age, and the size/temperment of the dog.

And my kids are grown/mostly grown.  I have, over the years been called neglectful, free range, over-involved and a helicopter parent. Guess that means I'm somewhere in between.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Scary, isn't it? I want DD to learn how to dress for the weather based on her personal threshold for cold/warm and not just what I tell her to put on. Last week I let her wear a T-shirt during the short walk through the parking lot and was shocked at the looks I got. People actually came up to DD and asked her if she was cold and where her coat was and why mommy didn't make her put it on.


Quoting jamamama00:

You have to in this day and age. Apparently there are a great deal of people out there who think that parenting differently than they would equals neglect and abuse.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:32 PM
I'm glad :) I wish I didn't feel as if I had community restrictions on my parenting choices.


Quoting tinkerbelle18:

I rarely worry about what others think. There are a few people who, if asked, I will explain my choices to but I parent(as does my dh) by what I think is best for my children.


Hot_Badonkadonk
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:32 PM

I think about it, but I don't let it rule my choice. There have been times my son has went to school without a coat on a cold day. I'm sure teachers have thought it was neglectful, but he learned from it. I'm very much a natural consequence type of Mom. 

Saille717
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:36 PM

No.  I make parenting decisions based on what I think is best for my child. I'm not afraid of CPS.  If somebody wants to call them and they come investigate me that's their waste of time.  I have nothing to worry about from them.  

Besides, CPS is far, far too busy to show up each and every time somebody calls them because of some foolishness.  They're not going to show up for the kinds of things that you've listed.  They're going to show up when a nurse calls them and says Little Girl Smith has handprint bruises on her stomach.  That's what they're going to show up for.  

Relax.   

jamamama00
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:37 PM

 I'm the same way! And I get those same comments ALL the time. For some reason, everyone here thinks that anything under eighty degrees requires a jacket. I particularly love the "you're gonna catch a cold" from random strangers who have obviously never taken a biology course. I am equally puzzled by parents who take the time to get the kids out of the carseat and put on their coats before entering the grocery store. In the time it takes to put on their coats, I could have already run into the store where it's nice and warm...so why bother?


Quoting Anonymous:

Scary, isn't it? I want DD to learn how to dress for the weather based on her personal threshold for cold/warm and not just what I tell her to put on. Last week I let her wear a T-shirt during the short walk through the parking lot and was shocked at the looks I got. People actually came up to DD and asked her if she was cold and where her coat was and why mommy didn't make her put it on.


Quoting jamamama00:

You have to in this day and age. Apparently there are a great deal of people out there who think that parenting differently than they would equals neglect and abuse.



 

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