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For women who have been cheated on and stayed.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

How did you find it in your heart to forgive him? How long did it take? Did the feeling of resentment and disgust ever go away? Was it worth pulling through? 
 
I feel like total crap. He wants another chance and we just had a baby girl.... she needs her dad, but I'm hurting so bad. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
Trina.mhmm
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:00 PM

I forgave my SO. Were perfectly fine. It takes time and will differ with everyone. It took over a year but I trust him mroe than ever now and dont think about it. Its in the past. Hes the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. People screw up. Some more than others. Its a decision you will have to make and figure out if hes worth the fight and pain. Cheating is very painful but walking away is very easy, it hurts but no where as much as fixing things. Its such a releif when you over-come those painful obstacles though. If your stong enough of course. If you can over-come this in a relationship, then you know you can pretty much over-come any other problems you two may have

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:02 PM

My dh was truly sorry and repentant and he begged me to let him make ammends.  I decided to give him another chance, I had too much invested in my marriage to let him go.  I wasn't going to let the other woman win.  Our marriage is stronger now, more than ever.  I'm glad I forgave him, I had to let my pain dissipitate - I had to learn to heal.  Good luck Hun, if it is meant to be, it will be.    

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:02 PM

I just don't get how you can cheat after having such a wonderful gift...and we were getting along. I just don't understand. I feel so disgusted, betrayed, and miserable. And so sad for our daughter if I were to leave for good. We are no longer living together, called off our wedding, and I'm having a hard time communicating with him. 
He is calling, messaging, crying....I just don't know.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I was cheated on a year ago. Our son was 2 months at the time :/
I stayed for the sake of family.. & honestly, its still so hard for me. The resentment tends to fade but the trust issues never do. I have severe insecurity issues as well!
Its really tough but its something I need to deal with since I chose to stay. I love seeing my son with his father and family time makes me really happy!

Your SO needs to want to change and he needs to show that he's all in! If not then you know what you need to do.


Paranoai
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:04 PM

not sure, but you should both get lots of counseling if you do decide to stay

mamalyss
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:05 PM

If I can just point out that it seems several women, even here, have experienced a cheating husband while going through a pregnancy. I think it's important to understand why that happens. I'm no expert but I'm guessing that a man's needs to connect sexually isn't always met when a woman is going through the discomforts of pregnancy. Honestly, it still baffles me why men disconnect from a relationship when they don't get sex. Anyways, everyone here is right when they say that you have the right to hurt and hold back trusting the partner that hurt you. I work in a Mental Health facility and I can tell you that therapy has really helped so many relationships. Good luck and keep your head up.

BeautyFull
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:05 PM

 

Allow yourself venting time, fuss him....cuss him(i did though)..ask him all the questions you want...Cry like hell.  But at the end of it all forgive, let go, dont ask any more questions, dont thow it in his face.  Dress Sexy as hell, go out by youself for little ride leave kids wih him.   Its a process but i got over it and you can to.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's how I feel. I'm so disgusted with him, but I don't ever want to bring another man into her life. And if I ever do want another kid, then I don't want different fathers...

Quoting BeautyFull:

The good things outweighted the bad by far.. We had 2 son on I had just given birth to, I was about 25 and I told myself divorce aint something that I want.  And I am not trying to bring another man into my sons life.  I made up in my mind that I will forgive and move on, it hurt like HELL...I am not sure how long it lasted because I cant tell exactly when it went away.  I do not regret on moment that I have stayed because both of us became better persons.  I must admitt he is better now than he was before he cheated.   But guess what, I am not the only one.  I know a few ladies from my church that stayed with their husbands and they to feel as if their husbands are better than they were before.

 


 

BeautyFull
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:07 PM

 Yes!!!! Well put.


Quoting Trina.mhmm:

I forgave my SO. Were perfectly fine. It takes time and will differ with everyone. It took over a year but I trust him mroe than ever now and dont think about it. Its in the past. Hes the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. People screw up. Some more than others. Its a decision you will have to make and figure out if hes worth the fight and pain. Cheating is very painful but walking away is very easy, it hurts but no where as much as fixing things. Its such a releif when you over-come those painful obstacles though. If your stong enough of course. If you can over-come this in a relationship, then you know you can pretty much over-come any other problems you two may have


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this

You have to ask yourself, are you going to let the other woman have what you have?  Are you willing to let your child visit her and your ex on the weekends and during the weekly dinner visitation?  Are you ready to be a single mom, to do everything on your own?  Is there a better man out there for you?  Could you do better?  Is your man sorry for what he did?  Does he know why he did it, does he put all or some of the responsibility on you?  Does he usually shift blame away from himself?  Is he willing to get counseling?  Are his faults something you are willing to live with?  Tolerate?  Only you can answer these questions.  Think carefully.  Infidelity is NOT the end of the world.  You can heal.  Your relationship can recover and become stronger than ever.  Your man can become a BETTER man - only he can decide to work on himself and only you can decide if you are better off with him rather than without him. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:11 PM
It's been less than a year for me I have forgiven but he knows he doesn't have my trust back. I get all passwords and have access to EVERYTHING. Yes it still hurts!! Yes we still talk about it. Talking helps a lot!! The only reason I stayed and he knows this was because there was way too much other things happening he kinda got a free pass so to speak. He also knows ill be gone if it ever happens again.
furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:13 PM

 I told him to do A, B and C or gtfo and he did them all + more. He was an open book. It took me over a year to fully get over it.

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