Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

For women who have been cheated on and stayed.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

How did you find it in your heart to forgive him? How long did it take? Did the feeling of resentment and disgust ever go away? Was it worth pulling through? 
 
I feel like total crap. He wants another chance and we just had a baby girl.... she needs her dad, but I'm hurting so bad. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:01 AM

i'm the type of person who can forgive but not forget. it takes a lot to get past it but it can be done. i think you just need to sit down and figure out what it is that you really want. nobody but you will know the right thing to do.

Grumpylilpixy
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:02 AM

He messed around 4 years ago. Some women can get through it. Forgive him fully and move on.

My husband ( This happened before we married) Work hard for several years before we married  We have been married 2 years now and this happened 4 years ago. The resentment is hard to get over. I fight with it alot and constantly question if I should just move on.

I honestly don't have answers for you. You have to find them on your own to be honest because you know you, best.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:04 AM

BUMP

mrsbrimer
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:04 AM
Sorry to say you never get over it. I was cheated on by a long term boyfriend right after having our daughter and he left. He wanted nothing to do with us. I still have nightmares about him and somethings remind me of it. It was horrible. I would leave now because they never change
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AerickMomi_MrsD
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:07 AM

It really depends. FORGIVING is the main key when you decide to take him back because what you are telling him is that you are wanting to forgive him and work on your relationship..

Most women take their spouse back but dont want to forgive.. they want to keep throwing it in their faces that he cheated etc..

Your relationship cannot grow if you keep dwelling on the past and keep bring it up..

With that said...

He has to also want to work on the relationship ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.. if his actions isnt meeting up to what he is saying.. That is your sign that he is not wanting to work on yalls relationship.

Matriarch87
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:09 AM
Forgiveness is a conscious decision. Heart hasn't much to do with forgiveness. If you want to forgive him that's a choice. You decide to let it go. Your heart is a totally separate matter. Hopefully it will follow suit after you decide to forgive him. If you do you gotta actually do it. You can't hold it over his head forever.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:11 AM

The first thing you need to do is counselling. I haven't been cheated on but my husband lost my trust. You need to work together to repair the relationship and learn to trust again. Good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:19 AM

Thank you. I am sorry that you went through that too. So painful :(

Quoting MrsVolle0904:

It's understandable that yu want yur little girl to have her dad. I feel that second chances can turn out good or bad, depending on how both ofyu handle the situation together.
My husband and I have been together for over four years, but we have gone through hell and back to get to where we are now. He cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship, but both of us were going through a "don't give a shit about anyone but ourselves" phase. Yes, it hurts like hell..maybe even worse than that, but sometimes a second chance is worth it.
I forgave him, yes, but I actually still don't trust him. I'm not obsessive or possessive or anything, but he knows that if it weren't for me, he would fall apart.
He has grown up A LOT in the last year or so, and I'm very proud of him. Sometimes it jus takes faith, and the push to move forward.
I think that y should let him know that yu won't put up with that kind of shit, but yu are willing to work on making things better.
Know what I'm saying?
Feel free to message me if yu need someone to listen. Its what I'm good at. :-)
Good luck hon. yur in my thoughts. Fingers crossed for yu


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:21 AM

That is awful! I am so sorry. I'm glad that you are getting away from him! I have broken up with my daughter's father. He seems truly sorry, but I'm going to observe for the next few months.. Thank you!!! Good luck. :)

Quoting iamadramamomma:

In my situation my husband was looking online for women....he called these so-called theraputic massage places over and over....there were tons of numbers he called...he talked to one of these women about 8 times and txt 33 times in 2 nights....he never calls me or txts me while at work and these are the times he did this...he always would tell me he is too busy to talk but found the time to do this......I confronted him I printed out all the calls and txt massages......I busted him when he was phone was going off late at night and he was sleeping, I tried to just turn off the phone but that was how I found out and she threatend me and harrased me, my so called dh denied it all the way said he didn't know the number which was in his contacts, he denied the whole thing even when I showed im the print out in black and white.....this happened 8 months ago and till this day all he says is I'm sorry I fucked up I made a mistake.....BS he hasen't even tried to make it up to me....I could and will never trust him again.....we have 2 sons 5 and 6 that is why I stay for now. He will be my stbx...I don't deal with liars....till this day he tells me to get over it that nothing happend....he never even stuck up for me when he threatend my life...I had er arrested and as for him I will never trust or beleive him. Mainly bc of the lies....I guess all I can say is that if he has at least shown you how sorry he is action speak louder than words try counseling or leave don't be in my situation....

Good luck I hope it all works out.

I know the pain if you want to pm me feel free

hugs


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:22 AM

I feel like I may have the same feelings for awhile. Good luck. :(

Quoting mrsbrimer:

Sorry to say you never get over it. I was cheated on by a long term boyfriend right after having our daughter and he left. He wanted nothing to do with us. I still have nightmares about him and somethings remind me of it. It was horrible. I would leave now because they never change


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)