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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I favor one of my kids.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 123 Replies
Dd is 5 and ds is 6 months old. Dd annoys me, and she always has. She is always in the way, always wants to hug or kiss and in general, just will not leave me alone. Ds is pretty independent but I love holding him. I have so much fun with him. He's such a sweet baby. Dd gets jealous and I tell her to go talk to Dh, her sd.



I had a very abusive childhood. I got pregnant with dd as a result of marital rape (exdh and I were separated and getting a divorce, he came over drunk and raped me). He said he would kill me if I had an abortion. He voluntarily gave up rights a year ago. I don't know how to be a good mother to her. Part of me wants to give her up for adoption.



Am I alone in these feelings??

Eta--despite some of the raging bitches on here, I've gotten some good advice. I do love my dd but I don't know how to show her. I bought some nail polish, stickers and matching tshirts today and we are going to spend the day together tomorrow. I'm going to try to see where it goes. Maybe I can ask her what she wants to do? I think she will like it.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Schleetle
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:33 PM
10 moms liked this
Well I do have one child that gives me the most headaches that is for sure, but I don't think my feelings are as strong as yours. Maybe you should talk to someone about letting go of the resentment you have for your ex so that you can have a stronger relationship with your daughter.
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hddcooper
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Not sure if your alone , but I'm not with ya! Sorry this has happened to you. Maybe you should put her up for adoption so that she will get the love and attention she deserves. Just remember its not her fault. She's only a child. Apparently she notices it too and that may be why she is so clingy.
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smartmommy1050
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this
It sounds to me like you need therapy, FAST. Think of how you felt as a child - you should never want your daughter to grow up feeling that way, and the only way to prevent that is to get help.
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edelweiss23
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:35 PM
Therapy will help.
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LucyHarper
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:36 PM
5 moms liked this

Seriously, go get therapy before you permanently damage that child. I am not trying to be mean, just telling the truth. She notices that you act differently to her, you brush her off when she addresses her feelings, and it will hurt her. Of course she wont leave you alone, thats what kids do, they strive for love and attention so when they don't get it and notice that their parent does those things with one kid and not the other, they try even harder.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:37 PM
I went to a therapist and she said it was ppd. I still feel the same way and I tried telling her I felt this way before my son. I have gone every week and she will not put me on meds. I live in a very small town and I don't have a different therapist to try.


Quoting smartmommy1050:

It sounds to me like you need therapy, FAST. Think of how you felt as a child - you should never want your daughter to grow up feeling that way, and the only way to prevent that is to get help.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:40 PM
I'm in therapy and she says it's ppd. She won't listen to me and I live in a really small town. There isn't another therapist for me to go to. I do love my daughter but I just know I'm not a good mother and I can't get help to deal with this and I don't know what to do.


Quoting LucyHarper:

Seriously, go get therapy before you permanently damage that child. I am not trying to be mean, just telling the truth. She notices that you act differently to her, you brush her off when she addresses her feelings, and it will hurt her. Of course she wont leave you alone, thats what kids do, they strive for love and attention so when they don't get it and notice that their parent does those things with one kid and not the other, they try even harder.


Aydans_Mommy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:41 PM
I only have one child.
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wooly
by Knitting Maniac on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:41 PM
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 Put her up for adoption and give the gir la chance to have a nice life before she's too old to be adopted and just winds up in the system. My mother never liked me and I knew it my entire life. it's not a nice way to grow up. And it leaves you with little or no self esteem.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:43 PM
I grew up with parents who hated and abused me. Being ignored would have been better. I want to learn to love her like she deserves. Why is that so bad??


Quoting wooly:

 Put her up for adoption and give the gir la chance to have a nice life before she's too old to be adopted and just winds up in the system. My mother never liked me and I knew it my entire life. it's not a nice way to grow up. And it leaves you with little or no self esteem.


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