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In the restaurant, those were my kids...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Yup, that was me, my sis and her guy, and all of those little ones were my kids in that restaurant today. Yup, that was my daughter making the mess with her food because she grabs too much and shoves it into her face instead of mouth. Yup, that was my almost two year old giving the soccer whistle screech at the top of his lungs because he can't communicate. Yup, that was my second child yelling at the top of his lungs while having a conversation. Yup, that was my oldest making all of those weird movie effect sounds and tapping on the table. I know it bothered you.

I know you saw me trying to handle the situation. Trying to feed my baby; taking my almost two year old into the bathroom for punishment; signing to my three year old to use signs instead of trying to talk in a place he cannot hear language due to crowd; and trying to get my oldest to stim by rubbing the table instead of tapping it.

It's tradition for us to eat out the first week of February when we first get our returns back. It's the only time I do it because of my kids.

I thank the waitress deeply for putting up with us (yes, we tipped her very well). I thank the other patrons for not coming up to me this time (I have been approached before). I did like the "knowing smile" that the one man gave my sister's boyfriend when he downed his beer and got another one. I really appreciate the nice lady who said "hi" to my oldest while we were leaving and giving him a brilliant smile.

I know we were loud. I know it looked like I had no control over them, but believe me when I say that it could have been worse.

Now I'm going to go and take a bath before one of them starts the nightly wake-up routine they all still have. I am just very thankful that this time no one came over to tell me to control my children. I am very thankful that only a few people looked over with annoyance. I can see you, even while trying to handle them all.

But, again, thank you for not coming up to me to attack my parenting.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:06 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:07 AM
Aw hugs to you.
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:08 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, I did enjoy getting out. I even had dessert that I didn't have to make myself. It is difficult, but I always look forward to it.

You have the patience of a saint.

Quoting Anonymous:

Your restaurant trip didn't sound like much fun.


by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:12 AM
One on one they are fine. I do have time like that with them each to bond. It's putting them all together is when I need more arms.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well you try. Some people just let their kids do what they want and don't intervene.

Is it possible that you could take one kid at a time out and work with them one on one? It wouldn't have to be a fancy place, it just might help them to get individual attention to help them cope with the chaos that a restaurant provides. Just a suggestion.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:14 AM
2 moms liked this

My little girl was only 5 months old, and it was christmas time, and she was still breast feeding AND we were at the mall.  I was changing her in the bathroom and she was crying.  I don't breastfeed in public not because I care what other people's opinions are but because that is private time for me and her.  Well, it took a minute to get the bottle ready for her and some lady started commenting about my daughter outside the bathroom...  Funny thing is my husband was right outside the door and he flipped OUT...  I wish he (and I) had the same level of patience that you've got.  We haven't the patient for rude people.  I've told someone that if they didn't like to hear young children crying or causing a ruckus, not to go out in public.  I have realized that if I'm like that my children will undoubtedly pick up my bad habits so I'm trying to tone it down.  Good job Momma for your patience!  <3

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:18 AM
We showed up before the dinner crowd and got the large table in back. It was busy when we finally left, and yet that was when I noticed the most kindness. The annoyance looks were when we first sat down mostly.

Quoting KrissyKC:

My only thought on the flip side is that I don't like paying for my meal only to have a "wild and loud" table next to me.    If it's that much work for you, and you don't really enjoy it... why don't you do something more kid-oriented than dinner out with your tax money?  Like take them to a kid event or something.  Putt putt, arcade, amusement park, etc... (I know you have some concerns about the heart conditions with stuff that's too rough or thrilling...)

Just a thought... if it's that hard to take them out and all.

My third can be a wild card, but we train her behavior at home to be the same level we would expect from them at a restaurant.  This way, when we DO go out, she already has a basis of behavior and expectations to go off of.   My kids also have focus and ADHD issues.  I say issues, cuz I chose to homeschool instead of going to route my son's KG teacher was headed with him.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:19 AM
We've all been there Mama! You sound like a very brave woman

Quoting Anonymous:

 Nope. I scream into my pillows very often.

Quoting flowersbane:

dear god woman, you must have the patience of a god!

Good on you!


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by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:21 AM

This...practice makes perfect...good luck!

Quoting Anonymous:

Did you ever think that if you took them out more, they would learn these skills better and each trip wouldn't have to be this bad?

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:23 AM
We all sign except my 2 year old. My second child just prefers to talk now. My 2 year old refuses to communicate except to scream in your face to be defiant. We own them all, though. Thank you. We bought them when dealing with my second child not passing his hearing test at birth.

Quoting TexanMomOf6:

"Signing Time" and "Baby Signing Time" Rachel Coleman. DVDs, CDs, books, posters. My 2.5 yo hearing son has a large  ASL vocabulary from watching the dvds. He speaks in complete sentences too. It would be a great way to teach the whole family sign so that your DS doesn't feel excluded from conversations..

It took me a while, but I finally figured out  that it helps to have the same rules at home as in public.

Keep working on it. It takes a while to civilize children!! lol!!

by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:24 AM

Hugs with the stim look for Aspergers syndrome and try ear plugs when you go out hugs mama I have been there

Quoting Anonymous:

 I don't know why they all do, honestly. I didn't ask for them to have something wrong with them. My oldest has ASD and ADHD; my second child has a hearing disability and a heart defect; my third child is being looked at for ODD; and my fourth has delays and a heart defect (which is a different defect than my third child's). Honestly, not a single one is the same.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why do all your kids have something wrong with them? No offense ..

by Anonymous 11 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:25 AM
3 moms liked this
Maybe someone else in that restaurant only goes out to eat once a year too. And you completely ruined their treat for themselves.

I honestly can't stand parents that take their kids out to restaurants when they though they aren't capable of handling it. If they can't act like an adult at the table then get a sitter or don't go out to eat. Why not just go to Chuck E Cheese if you know they're going to act like that?

We tried to taking ds to a restaurant when he was two. He couldn't handle it so I immediately grabbed him up and waited in the car with him while dh had the food boxed up and paid. Didn't try again until ds was 4.
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