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In the restaurant, those were my kids...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Yup, that was me, my sis and her guy, and all of those little ones were my kids in that restaurant today. Yup, that was my daughter making the mess with her food because she grabs too much and shoves it into her face instead of mouth. Yup, that was my almost two year old giving the soccer whistle screech at the top of his lungs because he can't communicate. Yup, that was my second child yelling at the top of his lungs while having a conversation. Yup, that was my oldest making all of those weird movie effect sounds and tapping on the table. I know it bothered you.

I know you saw me trying to handle the situation. Trying to feed my baby; taking my almost two year old into the bathroom for punishment; signing to my three year old to use signs instead of trying to talk in a place he cannot hear language due to crowd; and trying to get my oldest to stim by rubbing the table instead of tapping it.

It's tradition for us to eat out the first week of February when we first get our returns back. It's the only time I do it because of my kids.

I thank the waitress deeply for putting up with us (yes, we tipped her very well). I thank the other patrons for not coming up to me this time (I have been approached before). I did like the "knowing smile" that the one man gave my sister's boyfriend when he downed his beer and got another one. I really appreciate the nice lady who said "hi" to my oldest while we were leaving and giving him a brilliant smile.

I know we were loud. I know it looked like I had no control over them, but believe me when I say that it could have been worse.

Now I'm going to go and take a bath before one of them starts the nightly wake-up routine they all still have. I am just very thankful that this time no one came over to tell me to control my children. I am very thankful that only a few people looked over with annoyance. I can see you, even while trying to handle them all.

But, again, thank you for not coming up to me to attack my parenting.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:06 PM
Replies (111-120):
by Anonymous 24 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:34 AM
Better than them running all over the place.Loud children I can tune out,I cant tune out one who almost trips me.
by Anonymous 25 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:37 AM

I rather sit next to noisy kids than unruly adults. Actually I prefer sitting next to kids because they usually say cute things and are so innocent.

Growing up my mom let us be ourselves in public and in restaurants. I applaud you for taking your kids out and having them socialize. You're doing your best. Good luck with everything and don't worry about what others think.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:39 AM

Been there, done that....

Tonight I opted to take the easy way out and we went to a Chinese restaurant. I don't know if it's the simple fact that my 29 month old is just being a typical 2 year old, or what, but he has been UNCONTROLLABLE lately. My 9 month old is starting to get an attitude now that he's mobile mostly, and wants to be on the go and eating his own food.

Anyways, back to tonight. My two year old is excited to see me, (I was at school most of the day, finishing up my degree program). He kept hollering, jumping in the booth, getting hyped up, wanting this, or that, tapping the damn spoon and fork on the plate as we TRIED to patiently wait for our food to come to the table. Meanwhile my 9 month old is just screeching and jabbering away because he's discovering the sounds he can now make with his voice. Needless to say once food arrived it was no better. My two year old impatiently is asking for more trees (aka beef and broccoli), as I'm trying to bite small pieces off for my 9 month old who's impatiently yelping, yes yelping, at me to give him the bite already. All the while trying to eat some of my OWN food!

All I can say is THANK GOODNESS the staff know us, and know that our children are typically a little more behaved than that in public, and that the restaurant was not nearly as full as it normally is. =/ I wanted to cry so bad. It's bad enough to have one of them act up, easier to manage, but still bad. But to have BOTH of them acting up, omg, I told my husband to take our two year old to the bathroom for a bathroom "talk". lol.

by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:45 AM

 Our kids are a bit older now, and when we all go out now, (emphasis added) we often get compliments for their behavior, but when they were younger, it looked like how you described.  You doing your best to handle now is making a difference that is hard to see now, but will be obvious later!


Quoting Anonymous:

 Thank you. Honestly, I don't know if I'm handling it half of the time. But, the thought it appreciated.

Quoting Anonymous:

I will keep you in my prayers because you are handling way more than I ever could. <3

Quoting Anonymous:

 I don't know why they all do, honestly. I didn't ask for them to have something wrong with them. My oldest has ASD and ADHD; my second child has a hearing disability and a heart defect; my third child is being looked at for ODD; and my fourth has delays and a heart defect (which is a different defect than my third child's). Honestly, not a single one is the same.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why do all your kids have something wrong with them? No offense ..




by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:00 AM

No judgement here. :) You're a great mom.

The only thing I find frustrating is parents who just let the child run around and ignore them.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:32 AM

is what he has called Auditory Neuropathy? my daughter had that when she was a baby due to an illness, but ended up growing out of it somehow. 

i know its easier said than done but you shouldnt worry about what others think. as long as you and your kids are happy and they are loved and cared fori would say you are doing a great job =)

Quoting Anonymous:

It was explained to us at the time that he didn't qualify because he can hear in the sense that his ear drums work and the cochlear works. After that is when his brain doesn't work. He needed a nuerologist and so the audiologist dropped him. The nuerologist didn't know what to do really because he needed the services and help as if he is deaf. He put the label so that we could get help. He was taught to talk and learned signs. He is better than me but we both struggle with grammar structure. I also keep mixing up the signs for "now" and "stay". He gives me such a pittiful look when I don't sign correctly. His newest thing is to not look at us and try to listen and understand speech. I get so angry because he then doesn't do as told since he didn't understand what was said.

Quoting Anonymous:

Like I said, Im not offended.  There are zealots and snobs in all groups of people.  Just wasn't sure if you were aware.

I can imagine it must have been hard for you to get services.  Why didnt he qualify if you dont mind me asking? (just ignore if Im being nosy!)

Can he speak ASL now?  Just curious, my son speaks fluent asl, but that's at home, especially now that he's older, I sign almost eclusively

Quoting Anonymous:

He isn't deaf. He has a nuerological condition that affects how his brain processes sounds. I am sorry. I don't want to offend any one. We had to have him labeled as hearing disabled to get help, because he didn't qualify for Deaf services and no one in the nuerological field knew what to do. To get him to learn signs and have help it was a fight.

Quoting Anonymous:

Please don't take offense to this, I mean it in the best of ways, but do you know many people in the deaf community?  Calling it a hearing disability is not a good thing.  I myself am profoundly deaf and I know many who would jump down your throat far enough to tickle your ovaries for using that term.  Not me, I think some are overly senstive about using "pc" terms for things.  But was just curious if you were aware how offensive some in the deaf community can find the term hearing "disability."

Quoting Anonymous:

 I don't know why they all do, honestly. I didn't ask for them to have something wrong with them. My oldest has ASD and ADHD; my second child has a hearing disability and a heart defect; my third child is being looked at for ODD; and my fourth has delays and a heart defect (which is a different defect than my third child's). Honestly, not a single one is the same.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why do all your kids have something wrong with them? No offense ..

by Butters on Feb. 6, 2013 at 5:50 AM
While I do appreciate you for trying to control them, I have to ask why you feel it's okay to subject other customers to this year after year. If your children can not behave/ function in restaurants why continue to take them there and disrupt others meals? Why not get your meals to go and wait in the car? You still get a special meal but don't have to disrupt others! As much as I get your struggle I would have ask if the manager could make you quite them down or ask you to leave. As a paying customer I deserve a simil peacful play to eat my meal.
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by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 5:58 AM
7 moms liked this

Listen, as a parent of a large family and someone who has worked in early education for 28 years- the last 8 or so with special needs kids... There are four things I am thinking when I see your family out to eat... 1) I appreciate that you have stuck by your kids and are integrating them into society as opposed to ignoring their existence. 2) I am thankful that I have a spouse with whom I can share my burden. 3)  I know how tired I am after a FEW hours of screeching and stimming... And I am getting paid- you are doing it 24/7 and paying through the nose for the priveledge. 4) I recognize and am thankful that my "burden" is as light as it is. Our son had a stroke when he was four. In the beginning things were rough. I walked the walk for a few years but things got better, he improved and the stranger on the street wouldn't know at this point but I remember the early years well. 

For all of you judgmental ones out there... When you see a family struggling, why don't you try a little compassion? Thank your lucky stars that you don't have to carry that never ending responsibility day in and day out and if you just can't manage that... ORDER IN... I am SURE your perfectly clean, perfectly organized, Stepford style home is much better than a stinky old public restaurant with the rest of us riff- raff anyway!

by Anonymous 26 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:11 AM
I have never been to a restaurant where there was a sign saying no children allowed. Now days, so many children have special issues and disabilities (my own included) that people are becoming more aware. Just because a child may not have a physical disability, doesn't mean that they don't have something else going on. Get with the times you fool. You should be ashamed.

Op- don't explain yourself or your children to such ignorance! Good for you, taking your children out for dinner. Sounds like you've earned it! :)

Quoting Anonymous:

Then go to those. I dealt with each issue as it came up and it was done quickly. There was no spoon banging. He was tapping on the table with his fingers.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry, but that's why I like no kids allowed restaurants. I'm sorry your kids are a lot to handle. But is it really fair to other patrons to have to put up with your kids?

Out pf respect to other patron's, I don't take my child to places I know he won't sit still or behave. It's not fair to them to pay for a meal full of yelling, spoon banging and temper tantrums.
by Anonymous 27 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:17 AM
Big hugs. My daughter has an anxiety disorder. My son has autism, odd and adhd. I've beem there. I remember one time I took them out to eat. This woman came over and asked if there was anything she could do to help. She sat with us our whole meal. 4 years later she is my best friend. She also decided to go back to school so she can work with autistic children. It's nice to be helped instead of judged.
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