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Pregnant and DREADING THIS!!!! &$@!*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

I'm pregnant as a result of my depo failure by my long time on an off boyfriend.... We're both 23. I'm going back to school after the baby (I'm in my last trimester)

Our relationship has gone to the shitter. He doesn't want to do anything with his life, and I DO. 

When I found out I was pregnant he moved into my apt and we have been trying so hard to make this work but ALL we do is fight!

He refuses to go to couples therapy and says he's "on the verge of giving up". Sometimes he's flat out disrespectful. Ex: Tonight I said something ugly about his bosses and he called me a bitch. I can be disrespectful too, it's not all him.

He works at a bs job and doesn't want to better himself. It's frustrating bc all I want is security for myself and this baby.

It's not ALWAYS bad, but it's been a VERY rough week for us.... 

Although this pregnancy was UNPLANNED, a baby is a blessing and I should be happy right now. Instead I'm riddled with guilt, sadness, and depression bc this baby is coming into this envoriment. We fight bc he's "tired of seeing me sad all the time"....


What the FUCK am I supposed to do now? :( We love eachother and ultimately want to work this out but this is very, VERY hard.... 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:20 AM

Bump for advice! Please don't opt for the LEAVE option or "I should've had an abortion".... 

This baby doesn't deserve to grow up with seperated parents :/ 

Ninjascreenname
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:24 AM
Honestly, it sounds like living together isn't going to work out right now. Maybe see if he can move out and go from there?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM

He's paying the bills since I'm in my last trimester, having a tough pregnancy and not working at the moment.... 

Quoting Ninjascreenname:

Honestly, it sounds like living together isn't going to work out right now. Maybe see if he can move out and go from there?


Ninjascreenname
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM
But if you want different things, I don't see y'all working out. I'm speaking from first hand experience


Quoting Ninjascreenname:

Honestly, it sounds like living together isn't going to work out right now. Maybe see if he can move out and go from there?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM
Nor does the baby deserve to grow up with parents fighting and disrespecting each other. Since he won't go to counseling and you two have different goals and you can't change him, looks like you'll just have to suck it up and pretend everything is OK until your child turns 18. Good luck.

Quoting Anonymous:

Bump for advice! Please don't opt for the LEAVE option or "I should've had an abortion".... 

This baby doesn't deserve to grow up with seperated parents :/ 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Ninjascreenname
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM
:(. I don't know momma. It's not a healthy place to be in. :(


Quoting Anonymous:

He's paying the bills since I'm in my last trimester, having a tough pregnancy and not working at the moment.... 

Quoting Ninjascreenname:

Honestly, it sounds like living together isn't going to work out right now. Maybe see if he can move out and go from there?



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maryjmom
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Separated parents isn't the end of the world honey. Sometimes its better to be separated. I'm a single mom and have been for 7 years. If you really want things to work out, try counseling. Ultimately in the end though, if things don't improve, leaving him may be the best option. Best of luck to you.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:27 AM

Well I'm all about school, and he's not... He wants to open up his own business but doesn't have the means to do so. He's a "gonna gonna gonna" type of guy. 

KWIM? I'm trying to have faith that he'll do something. Perhaps once he sees our son and this becomes real to him? I know men mature a lot slower than women do. IDK.

Quoting Ninjascreenname:

But if you want different things, I don't see y'all working out. I'm speaking from first hand experience


Quoting Ninjascreenname:

Honestly, it sounds like living together isn't going to work out right now. Maybe see if he can move out and go from there?


Grumpylilpixy
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:28 AM

Bounce out before it gets worst. That is my honest opinion. I have been there, still there and contemplating walking away. STILL and our baby is 6 now. LOL

So please run.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:29 AM

It would kill me to do that to my son :'[ I mean, god.... I know eventually it's possible we'll grow apart but I need some advice on what to do for now. I'm seeing a therapist starting next week.... I thought if I made the first step he'd maybe follow.

Quoting maryjmom:

Separated parents isn't the end of the world honey. Sometimes its better to be separated. I'm a single mom and have been for 7 years. If you really want things to work out, try counseling. Ultimately in the end though, if things don't improve, leaving him may be the best option. Best of luck to you.


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