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Am I over-reacting, or is the school out of line?

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:49 AM
  • 208 Replies
1 mom liked this

 My daughters (ages 7 and 10, 2nd and 4th grade) came home from school yesterday and informed me that they watched a movie at school about a heavyset kid who got made fun of, and another girl who got made fun of, who eventually committed suicide. I was upset because

1) I feel they are too young to learn about suicide, and if they are gonna learn about it at all it should be from me.

2) They didn't tell me they were gonna show this movie or ask my permission to let my daughters watch it.

3) I can't help but wonder what other material they are gonna show my daughters without my knowledge or permission.

Am I over-reacting?

They also told my daughters about the shooting at Sandy Hook, which should have been left up to me. Why do they feel the need to take away the innocence of our kids by sharing with them the ugliness of the world? I know they have to learn about it eventually, but at 7? or even 10? And isn't that MY job and not their's?

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:51 AM
19 moms liked this

I don't mind reality being taught to mine.  I tell my kids  (13, 7 and 5) about almost all events that happen.  It gives them compassion and teaches them how not to be!

LaughingTattoo
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:53 AM
4 moms liked this

I dont shelter my children from reality so I have no point of reference in regards to this. Why shouldnt they be prepared in the event of a school shooting? Why shouldnt they know that their actions can cause severe harm to others?

Superlaura328
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:54 AM
6 moms liked this

I think they definitely overstepped. I'd say something... I wouldn't complain about the teacher specifically - if it's the curriculum or whatever, it's not really her fault - but I'd complain to the administration. I understand that kids do need to learn about these things, but I agree - either let the parent do it, or at least warn the parents that you're gonna do it!

two4one
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:55 AM
2 moms liked this

Yes, they over stepped.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:55 AM
4 moms liked this
Agreed.

Also while you may be a parent who discussed these things with their child there are many who don't. It's fallen on the schools to teach these things. And at 10 they should absolutely know and understand some of the things you're thinking they shouldn't so you do kind of fall in that category of parents who should but haven't.

Quoting LaughingTattoo:

I dont shelter my children from reality so I have no point of reference in regards to this. Why shouldnt they be prepared in the event of a school shooting? Why shouldnt they know that their actions can cause severe harm to others?

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:55 AM
4 moms liked this

I think you're over reacting.

Kids find out about things like Sandy Hook, sooner than you'd expect (yes, even elementary school kids have smart phones).  Better to give facts than let gossip run wild.

About the bullying movie - yes, I think it's a good thing.  Yes, it may upset them in the short term, but you can't coddle the kids forever.  It's only recently (last 20 years or so) that we have tried to shelter kids from so much.  I'm older -at 7, I was watching (over and over) the assasination of JFK.  And the shooting of Oswald.  And yes, it was talked about - immediately - at school (we were on the west coast, it was right after lunch). 

Kids can handle a lot more than many of us give them credit for.  Innocence is a sham - kids imagine far worse than reality.

sha_lyn68
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:55 AM
3 moms liked this

Yes, you are overreacting. If parents were doing their jobs, then the schools wouldn't have to. If you consider those things a part of your job, why didn't you do your job? Your children do not live in a vacuum. They are going to hear about bullying, suicide, Sandy Hook etc. Bullying is a real life situation happening in schools every day. Suicide due to bullying is a fact. Bravo to the school for trying to educate your children.

lovemyhoney19
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:57 AM
I like for my dd to know and understand reality BUT it should be up to her dad and I to teach her not someone else.
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SillySally83
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I think its important that at a young age they learn that there is ugly in this world; I think it makes them more empathetic and teaches them to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves... however, I think the school should do as our schools did when I was a kid and send home a permission slip to make sure kids who's parents want to shelter them from reality don't have to learn the truth about the world. No offence, while I agree that its your right to deny your kids the opportunity to learn of reality, I think its a pretty stupid thing to want for them.

Our parents had to sign for permission for us to watch American History X in high school and I remember only 3 kids being left in the classroom, the rest of us were in the gym, watching the movie.

Saille717
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:57 AM
3 moms liked this

I think that you're overreacting.  If you think that your girls don't hear these topics from other kids then you're not living in the real world.  Definitely by 10 kids are hearing all about these current events.  So if they don't hear them from adults then they're going to hear who knows what from their classmates.  

the schools job is to teach your children, not to maintain their bubble of protection against reality.  

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