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What am I supposed to do? Please help me :/

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 56 Replies

Ok, so my kid is 5 yrs old. He is high-functioning autistic and has potty issues. He's still not fully potty trained. You can ask and ask him multiple times, and he'll never tell you when he has to pee. He'll literally sit there and pee all over the floor, in his pant and undies. I'm so frustrated I don't know what to do. So for the past 2 or 3 months, his teacher everyday, has been complaining that he won't go to the bathroom and pees all over his clothes and her floor everyday. I take him to the bathroom every 20 min when he's home. He'll never tell me. I don't know what more I can do. I go to pick him up from school today and the teacher has another teacher tell me how he "smells like urine" and the kids are making fun of him.

I put him in clean clothes in the morning, wash his face, brush his teeth and feed him. I make sure he goes to the bathroom 1 and 2x before leaving the house. If he is peeing on the way to school, I wouldn't know because I never smell or see anything. I told her how I do him when we're home. I tell him time after time to go to pee in the potty but no, he won't. He wont do it. Using the bathroom is the worst thing he could ever do in his life. What am I supposed to do in this situation? Now the teachers are making it appear as though I put him in pissy pants to go to school and am just being lazy. This truly hurts my feelings. I know I'm doing the best that I can and I don't know what more to do besides putting him back in pull ups. I'm so frustrated and angry and ask myself why. Why out of all of the kids in the class does my kid have the potty issue? I feel like screaming but I know that won't change anything. I feel so alone. I need help please. I don't know what else to do.

simple frown

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:22 PM

bump

bumNmoos_mom
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:23 PM

Unfortuanately he will go on his time... If you or any push it on him the less likely it will be that he will become potty trained. There is one thing, you can give him a card with a potty on it. If he is not telling you, then maybe he will show you. It' works when they do not speak well. Have the potty card hanging by the bathroom door, if he needs to go potty let him know to grab it and take it to you. It might or might now help. We had a socail worker work with us and she recommended using cards to help when they aren't speaking or able to express anything. Doesn't hurt to try. Good luck, I know how it feels. 

SillySally83
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:24 PM
1 mom liked this

They make pull ups for bigger kids, I would get him some and put him in one for school and send a second one in this backpack. Its not his fault, Momma, and its not your fault either.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:25 PM

Thank you. I just feel like crying. This hurts me to think that people think that I would purposely send my kid to school smelly. I would never do that.

Quoting bumNmoos_mom:

Unfortuanately he will go on his time... If you or any push it on him the less likely it will be that he will become potty trained. There is one thing, you can give him a card with a potty on it. If he is not telling you, then maybe he will show you. It' works when they do not speak well. Have the potty card hanging by the bathroom door, if he needs to go potty let him know to grab it and take it to you. It might or might now help. We had a socail worker work with us and she recommended using cards to help when they aren't speaking or able to express anything. Doesn't hurt to try. Good luck, I know how it feels. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:25 PM

simple frownthank you, I think I'm going to have to. I don't know what else to do.

Quoting SillySally83:

They make pull ups for bigger kids, I would get him some and put him in one for school and send a second one in this backpack. Its not his fault, Momma, and its not your fault either.


SillySally83
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:27 PM

Good luck :) Maybe if you get the ones that get cold when he pees he will want to use the potty... unless he has some sensory issues. I wouldn't want him getting really upset about being wet and cold :(

You and he are in my thoughts!


Quoting Anonymous:

simple frownthank you, I think I'm going to have to. I don't know what else to do.

Quoting SillySally83:

They make pull ups for bigger kids, I would get him some and put him in one for school and send a second one in this backpack. Its not his fault, Momma, and its not your fault either.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:28 PM

I think he does have some type of sensory problem. I know  for sure he's very sensitive to sound too. Thanks again :)

Quoting SillySally83:

Good luck :) Maybe if you get the ones that get cold when he pees he will want to use the potty... unless he has some sensory issues. I wouldn't want him getting really upset about being wet and cold :(

You and he are in my thoughts!


Quoting Anonymous:

simple frownthank you, I think I'm going to have to. I don't know what else to do.

Quoting SillySally83:

They make pull ups for bigger kids, I would get him some and put him in one for school and send a second one in this backpack. Its not his fault, Momma, and its not your fault either.





MomOfTwins...
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:35 PM

 For both of my twins who are on the spectrum, both high functioning, we had to buy a peter potty urinal. They weren't potty trained until after they were 4 yrs old. The urinal made all the difference!! We had been training them for over 2 years and didn't get anywhere until we got that!

Does he see an occupational therapist? One of my boys' occupational therapist mentioned that typically kids on the spectrum lack the ability to be aware of what is going on down there. He may not be aware of the feeling of having to go pee. Maybe help with body awareness? You can do joint compressions, skin brushing, ect. Just google different ideas for body awareness if you are not already aware and try them!!

Also, does your son have an IEP in place at the school? Does he have an aide that can help him with potty training?

Good luck! I know how frustrating it can be!!!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Thanks for sharing this with me. It does make me feel better. My son has Physical and Occupational therapy. While putting him in school, my Husband was assured that they would find someone who could help him deal with his toileting issues. To this day, they have not. They knew from September, that My son has potty problems but still they sit and complain and are not being proactive about finding a solution. They say they won't change pull ups, but they won't change his clothes either when he has accidents. I'm going to have to cause a stink and see what can be done. He's has an IEP and does counseling sessions but his speech is somewhat still limited. I don't know how much he's getting out of that. Some weeks are good, and some weeks are bad. He does go standing up, but he won't tell us when he has to go. They have 3 teachers in the class, one is male and he's the one that helps with bathroom visits, but there's no Para, (that they claimed we would have) to help him specifically with the potty. Thanks I'll do that.

Quoting MomOfTwins...:

 For both of my twins who are on the spectrum, both high functioning, we had to buy a peter potty urinal. They weren't potty trained until after they were 4 yrs old. The urinal made all the difference!! We had been training them for over 2 years and didn't get anywhere until we got that!

Does he see an occupational therapist? One of my boys' occupational therapist mentioned that typically kids on the spectrum lack the ability to be aware of what is going on down there. He may not be aware of the feeling of having to go pee. Maybe help with body awareness? You can do joint compressions, skin brushing, ect. Just google different ideas for body awareness if you are not already aware and try them!!

Also, does your son have an IEP in place at the school? Does he have an aide that can help him with potty training?

Good luck! I know how frustrating it can be!!!


Mrs.H15
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:40 PM
I wish I had some advice but it sounds like these other great mamas have some good ideas! Good luck in whatever you choose to do and stay positive!! : )
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