Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

would you be offended or am i over reacting? *edit*

Posted by   + Show Post

 just got off the phone with dh's cousin. apparently they dont like coming over here in the winter (or rainy weather) because we do not allow smoking in the house. I do not want my house to smell like an ashtray but it sucks that family wont come over for a better chunk of the year because of it. I have been tempted to say f--k it, let them smoke in here but then i remember what my mothers house always looked and smelled like from smokers. and i am actually upset that that is the reason why they dont come over here. would you be offended too or am i getting upset for no reason?

 

you all are replying faster than i can read LOL ok to answer a few questions:

1. we  do go over there and deal with the smoke smell and the wall of smoke that you literally walk into, i can tolerate it for a few hours before i get sick

2. would you want your kids around that much smoke (for those who are saying so go over there)

3. i am offended and upset that they cant be bothered to visit, yes they are respecting boundries but i think they are going about it in the wrong way.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:56 PM
Replies (161-168):
SuperJo
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:01 AM
She's right.

Quoting Jensep:

Don't let them smoke in your house!!! I could see why you would be offended...but come on now...they're the ones over reacting, they can't spend a few hours with out smoking, it's their loss...

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Wicked.Jester
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:02 AM
1 mom liked this

You are obviously an idiot.  Where did I say I wanted my kids, or yours, around second hand smoke???

All I said was you cannot expect other people to change for YOU.  Learn to read.

They are being CONSIDERATE by not smoking in your house, and not coming over when it is uncomfortable for them.  You are too self-centered to see that.

Quoting mary841108:

 you're either mentally stunted to the fullest extreme (you may want to get checked out, im sure you can get like SSI for that) or just a bitch to the extreme. if you want your children around a ton of second hand smoke go for it but it makes you look like a shitty person so congrats. I, on the other hand, obviously value my children and their health more than you seem to with your own children. Good job being an awful parent, you rock.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 24 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:04 AM

I wouldn't be offended.  I'd be glad they didn't come if they literally can't go a few hours without smoking and won't go outside because the weather isn't perfect.  I can't imagine wasting time on someone like that, family or not.  Doesn't seem like much of a family if this is how they are behaving.

CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:06 AM

They're being stupid.  Yes, they are respecting the boundaries you have placed but really?!  Is smoking THAT much more important?  I find it ridiculous that they cannot refrain from smoking for the short amount of time that they visit that they just as soon as not visit.  They are being honest, but I'd be offended because to me that means that the smoking is more important.  If you have been willing to stand the wall of smoke that they create in their house, then they can stand NOT smoking for a few hours at yours.

MommaTasha1003
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:11 AM

Why is it so hard for people to understand this! Smoking stinks! And kids being in a house with the doors closed with smokers is gross... Smokers usually always smoke all at once-making the house smoky thick.... Or they each take their turns so your lungs never get a break..

I remember my granda & mom would sit at the table & talk & chain smoke.. You could cut the smoke with an knife!

If your willing to bend- is there a room in the house that they could smoke in, that is not part of your main living room or something? ... Maybe a guest bedroom? A mud room? Or garage?..

I personally would not let smoking go on in the main part of the house unless there was a disaster going on outside.. Is there any way you could make going outside not so bad for them? - maybe some type of heat source for them? Lawn chairs to sit on? ...

Good Luck!

mary841108
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:13 AM

 lol even if there were a disaster there would be no smoking in any part of the house. the smoke smell in a house is super disgusting.

Quoting MommaTasha1003:

Why is it so hard for people to understand this! Smoking stinks! And kids being in a house with the doors closed with smokers is gross... Smokers usually always smoke all at once-making the house smoky thick.... Or they each take their turns so your lungs never get a break..

I remember my granda & mom would sit at the table & talk & chain smoke.. You could cut the smoke with an knife!

If your willing to bend- is there a room in the house that they could smoke in, that is not part of your main living room or something? ... Maybe a guest bedroom? A mud room? Or garage?..

I personally would not let smoking go on in the main part of the house unless there was a disaster going on outside.. Is there any way you could make going outside not so bad for them? - maybe some type of heat source for them? Lawn chairs to sit on? ...

Good Luck!

 

Jalestra
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:51 AM

Sorry, but my feelings on the matter are (for both parties) if you don't like it, stay away. IMO, you're both doing the right thing. Neither of you have the right to be offended. You either respect a person's home or don't. Sounds like both of you are doing that.

If it's that big a deal, meet at a public place from now on. 

Sunshine2plus2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:00 PM

I do not allow smoking in my home either and my DH and I are both smokers. When our friends come over we go outside or in the garage like always! They dont like it oh well!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN