Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

would you be offended or am i over reacting? *edit*

Posted by   + Show Post

 just got off the phone with dh's cousin. apparently they dont like coming over here in the winter (or rainy weather) because we do not allow smoking in the house. I do not want my house to smell like an ashtray but it sucks that family wont come over for a better chunk of the year because of it. I have been tempted to say f--k it, let them smoke in here but then i remember what my mothers house always looked and smelled like from smokers. and i am actually upset that that is the reason why they dont come over here. would you be offended too or am i getting upset for no reason?


you all are replying faster than i can read LOL ok to answer a few questions:

1. we  do go over there and deal with the smoke smell and the wall of smoke that you literally walk into, i can tolerate it for a few hours before i get sick

2. would you want your kids around that much smoke (for those who are saying so go over there)

3. i am offended and upset that they cant be bothered to visit, yes they are respecting boundries but i think they are going about it in the wrong way.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:56 PM
Replies (41-50):
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:03 PM
2 moms liked this

If my family refused to visit because they couldn't smoke in my house, I would be upset.  They can't go two hours w/o a cig and come visit? If its that damn cold, go sit in your own car with the heater on and smoke there. It's like they are picking cigarettes over family.

Quoting ElitestJen:

Quoting SRUsarahSC:

NO way anyone smokes in my house, including my MIL.  Everyone completely respects the rule.  You'e not overreacting.

That's the thing.  They ARE respecting them.  They're simply setting their own boundary. 

Makes me wonder if the OP is simply trying to control these people and upset because they won't play into it.

by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:03 PM

nah, that's one of the reasons my mom is never at my house, we don't smoke inside.  ffs, it's a whopping 3 steps to the front porch, and maybe a dozen to the garage where there's a nice smoking nook, complete with heater.

her loss, not mine.  I'm not compromising my house rules (or my children's lungs) to appease the almighty mom.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:03 PM

screw them. non smokers can always smell when there was a smoker in the house. that nasty smell sticks and i wouldn't allow it in my house either. I'd be offended that they let something thatg stupid keep them from coming over.

by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:03 PM

then they are being petty and expecting you to give up on your beliefs (not smoking in the house) for them. I'd counter with a 'well the kids really miss you and they don't understand why such a small thing like were you can smoke would prevent you from visiting them

by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:04 PM

If they cant not smoke for a few hours...or even step outside if they "need" to....I dont know. If that's your rule, that's your rule.  Seems like seeing their family would be more important.

I wouldnt be offended though. 

by spitfire_bobbie on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:04 PM

Do they or would they come over often if they had a more comfortable smoking area? If so and you have a covered porch could you put a small heater out there or something for them? Something like this maybe...

by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:04 PM
Nope. I used to smoke in the house ages ago. Won't ever do it again! The walls were yellow, the house wreaked! Nope.

However, u need to just let it go and realize that if SMOKING to them is more important than seeing their family, they aren't worth your time. :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Your house, your rules!  If they don't like it to bad, I wouldn't feel bad about it.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I won't let smoking in my house.  Ever.  I don't care who it is.  I have a deck.  Take your ass out there and puff away. 

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:05 PM
I honestly wouldn't give a fuck. If they dont want to go over they don't have to.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)