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I need creative discipline ideas for an 8year old boy... *update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My son is 8 years old. He is generally a good kid but he has some issues that are happening a lot more lately than they have in the past. Mostly he does not do what he is told unless you pretty much yell it at him. It is like if you are talking to him in a normal tone he hears you but he doesn't care that you said anything untill you yell at him. Sometimes he just flat out ignores us and pretends like the didn't hear us.

He has also been being a typical kid trying to see what he can get away with... Last week I caught him trying to sneak his game tablet under his covers so that he could play with it after bed time. I grounded him from it for a week. He had it back for 4 days. When I went to wake him up for school on Monday I found him passed out on his bedroom floor right next to the open tablet. I took it and grounded him from all electronics (tv, video games, computers, playing on my phone, and his tablet) and desserts/treats for two weeks. Tonight, an hour after bed time, I crept down the hall and caught him watching a movie on his tv ( I KNOW!! I should have taken the tv -and the tablet- out of his room from the start but he just got the tv for Christmas so I was hesitant to take it away so soon.

I removed the tv from his room tonight and because his younger sister's tv (which was bought used for her for Christmas) is already not playing dvds any more, I am giving it to her and he will no longer have access to a tv in his room. *Neither of their tvs are hooked up to cable/satelite/etc. They are for dvds and music cds with parental approval only. His sister is four years old and visits us every other weekend.

I don't expect perfect behavior from our son but I do expect a certain amount of respect and I feel like he has lost all sense of respect for adults and for our rules and boundaries.

I need some fresh ideas on ways to discipline him. I have tried grounding, spanking, loss of privelages, extra chores but nothing seems to be getting through to him. What have you done that was successful with your kids?

*update* On our way home from school I told him his chores (clean his bedroom, his bathroom, and the play room) needed to be done before he did anything else. He kept coming out of his room and at one point he even snuck outside to ride his bike. At the end of the day... he had not done ANYTHING except for put away his hot wheels which he got back out and had been playing with.

At bed time toinght I told him the usual "brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, go to bed". We went through our normal bed time rituals and I turned his lights out and closed his door. About half an hour later I hear sounds coming from his room (thuds and similar sounds). So I went outside and peeked through his window and caught him tumbling around in his room like a ninja. So I went back inside (cause I don't want him to think about me being able to see him through his window... actually that sounds kind of creepy but it's the truth) and flung his door open and had a long talk with him about how I love him very much but I don't feel like he respects me at all or cares about what I say and that I don't want to be a mean mom or spank him about every little thing that he does (spanking is his VERY least favorite punishment... he would rather be grounded to his empty room all day than have one swat on the butt with my hand). I didn't set any specific punishments because I haven't figured anything out for sure yet (but I really like the idea of the rewards chart with tokens and the discipline chart). I need to have something solid figured out before he gets home from school tomorrow so that we can sit down and talk about our new plan.

Any further suggestions are welcome but the anon who is bashing me can knock it off. I'm not going to be responding to any bash responses Anon or not. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:51 PM
Replies (21-22):
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this

If he doesn't do a chore when you tell him to, another chore gets added.  I usually give a warning first and that gets the work in motion.  If he continues to be defiant I'm sure there are lots of places he could help out.  People in nursing homes love to be read to.  Soup kitchens need help cleaning up and serving people.  Food shelves could use some sorting of their wares.  When they realize that the world doesn't revolve around them, they quickly get their act together.  I would just say, "It seems like the chores I give you are so boring, let's see if someone else could use your help today."

by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:49 PM
Write down rules and consequences. Give him a copy and keep a copy, hang it somewhere he can see it. Explain to him very calmly what your expectations are. Make sure he understands wha you want/need from him, and Make sure to follow through every single time!
Pick your battles, like the ninja thing, tell him he can read a book if he can't fall asleep, maybe he just wasn't tired and he needed that extra energy out?
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