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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

In the middle of a divorce and...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

Might be pregnant by another man! My husband of two years whom I have one beautiful daughter with decided he was done. He told me 6 months ago that if I found someone else who was interested that I was free to move on even though the divorce isnt finalized. He now has her most of the time because of my health, and while I was on what was supposed to be a two week mini vacation to meet a long distance friend, I instead found my soulmate (who knew our friendship had gone so far? I didnt until I saw him for the first time and went "DANGIT, I love this man." He felt the same way) and in the same breath developed a pulmonary embolism. They IMMEDIATELY took me off the pill and put me on blood thinners. He and I had been using condoms every time EXCEPT, of course, the day I developed the chest pain. My AF showed up the next day, hallelujah.


Flash forward two weeks. I woke up having ovulation pains one morning, they went away and my partner (thats the only word strong enough to describe me and my soulmates relationship) and I resumed our intimacy. He is, to put it politely, just a smidge under the "too big for normal condoms" line, and the condom snapped RIGHT as he was finishing up, so to speak. Nailed that one RIGHT on the head, didn't I? ALSO, my partner tends to keep going after he has finished, and last night I realized that it caused the condom to leak (don't say it, I should have known all along. I know, I'm not used to being with "equipped" guys who can keep going).


HERES MY ISSUE: I can't take the morning after pill because it could kill me, the nurses at the hospital said so. A miscarriage could kill me as well as a pregnancy with ANY complications (my first was a little complicated, to say the least), even a normal pregnancy could mean death because of the increased clotting risk. Now I have to sit and wait to discover my fate, so to speak.


My family is made up of largely STRICT Christians and would not understand. I am considering moving here for the next year to be with him since I just found out my housing situation will not work anymore. I would fly to visit my daughter as often as I could, but I'm scared to fly home and face the shame of becoming pregnant by someone while technically married to someone else. Any advice/anyone in the same or similar boat?


Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mcclainprincess
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:09 AM
Whew. No, i haven't been in that position. But really... Seems stressful, but since your options are kind of limited.... What can ya do?! Lol.

What does he say about it?
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babyboy117
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:13 AM
2 moms liked this
Congrats! My advice would just be to embrace your situation. Don't make a decision based on what other's think about your situation.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:13 AM


He's stressed as well since we had talked about waiting at least three years for kids. He does wanna marry me someday, whether I'm pregnant now or not. He said that the day after I showed up. We're both 22, so we're on the young side (but I got married at 20 to my first husband). We plan on waiting at least a year or so to get married, but if I'm pregnant, that might speed things up...

Quoting mcclainprincess:

Whew. No, i haven't been in that position. But really... Seems stressful, but since your options are kind of limited.... What can ya do?! Lol.

What does he say about it?



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:16 AM
3 moms liked this
What medical condition do you have that plan b or a MC would kill you? How can you take bc but not plan b? It's the same thing. And how can a MC kill you when womens bodies MC hundreds of unknown pregnancies throughout their fertile years? How can you have a period but can't MC?

And mom of the year you are. You'd rather ditch your daughter than face the shame of having extra marital relations.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:18 AM


My biggest fear is the health problems and/or risk of death that is associated with me getting pregnant after a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in your lungs). Especially two weeks after one.

Quoting babyboy117:

Congrats! My advice would just be to embrace your situation. Don't make a decision based on what other's think about your situation.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this

She said she could not take BC and has PE which could cause blood clots so she cannot take plan B either.  Your not good with reading comprehension are you?


Quoting Anonymous:

What medical condition do you have that plan b or a MC would kill you? How can you take bc but not plan b? It's the same thing. And how can a MC kill you when womens bodies MC hundreds of unknown pregnancies throughout their fertile years? How can you have a period but can't MC?

And mom of the year you are. You'd rather ditch your daughter than face the shame of having extra marital relations.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:23 AM


As I posted, I just suffered from a blood clot in my lung and have to be on blood thinners. Even shaving now carries a huge bleeding risk. Thats why I can't take plan B. The hospital refused it. They said that even concieving could cause issues, the implantation bleeding could also kill me. Anything that is associated with a pregnancy: miscarrying, placental abruptions, anything. Even just being pregnant exponentially multiplies my clot risk and the risk of me bleeding out. All of this is stuff I was told at the hospital. And as far as your last sentences, I wouldn't be "ditching" my little girl, I would be flying back as often as I could. Ideally every three weeks, since thats how often I get to see her anyways due to her dads hecktic schedule. Thats our visitation arrangement right now, so thats how often I would see her whether or not I was living there.

Quoting Anonymous:

What medical condition do you have that plan b or a MC would kill you? How can you take bc but not plan b? It's the same thing. And how can a MC kill you when womens bodies MC hundreds of unknown pregnancies throughout their fertile years? How can you have a period but can't MC?

And mom of the year you are. You'd rather ditch your daughter than face the shame of having extra marital relations.



misskriss10
by Ruby Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:26 AM

I haven't been in your position but you need to do what you feel is best for you and the baby. Good luck! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Isn't flying a big no-no for anyone with clotting issues? My son has issues with clots, etc. and flying isn't allowed...
Iron_Beauty
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:31 AM

This.

Quoting mcclainprincess:

Whew. No, i haven't been in that position. But really... Seems stressful, but since your options are kind of limited.... What can ya do?! Lol.

What does he say about it?




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