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Grandmother being mom

Posted by Anonymous
  • 120 Replies

I noticed a lot of the volunteers at my child's school are grandmothers, and its not they are sweet and just helping us out. They are being mom to their grandchildren. I dont always know the back story, its not my business to ask. Ive heard a few back stories and I find them all sad. Most arent the parents died and left children to grandparents, its just that the parents have pretty much checked out.

I find this very sad, why have a child you dont want to raise? Moms around but she just is too busy working and dating and being social leaving grandma to volunteer, help with homework, tuck in beds and so on. I dont get it. My sons grandparents are very loving and involved but not even the 10th of the what these grandmas at my child's school is.

What are your opinions of this, is this common at your childs school, do you see it more now of days?

BTW growing up none of my friends were raised by their grandparents, all had there parents doing that job.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:07 AM
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by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:32 AM

My grandmother raised my cousin. My cousin had a baby when she was 15 and her mom (my aunt) had a baby just 30 days before my cousin did so my grandmother raises them too (they are both 5 now). 

 My grandmother has had awful health problems due to stress. She has had children in the house since my father was born in 1967. 

I feel so bad for her but she is too sweet to say no. 

And yes, my family is a little messed up. 

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:34 AM

Its much harder these days with both parents having to work in many instances, but when its just because they're to busy partying or on drugs then it is very sad. It is better for the child to be with the grandparents then a messed up parent or parents. I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren because both of my children and their spouses work full time jobs.  I would volunteer at their schools if need be.

I have my granddaughter at least one night a weekend every week sometimes two because of their work schedules. I cherish every moment, she will only be this age once.  

Pretty soon she will be all grown up and have other plans with friends on the weekend so I hope she does want me  volunteer at her school so I get to spend time with her. lol

by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:34 AM
4 moms liked this

I am raising 4 grandchildren. I think whatever is in the best interest of the child/children always is what should prevail regardless of WHY the grandchildren are with the grandparents.

by Jasmyne on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:36 AM
My nana didn't raise me but she did almost all of the school stuff.
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by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:36 AM

it is very common where I live to see grandma be mommy because mommy is to busy with her new beau or drugs/alcohol

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:37 AM

My grandmother - DS's great-grandmother - spends a lot of time with him and taking care of him. That doesn't mean she is playing mommy. htat just makes her a good grandparent.

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:38 AM

My mom told me when I was very young that she wasn't raising any other children and I believed her.  Its not that she wouldn't love them, but she wanted me to take on my responsibility if I had children.  When I did have kids, I never looked to anyone for support unless I really needed it.  I was proud to say my husband picked up the slack when I was in school or at work.  I think its very irresponsible to have a child and then dump them on granny.  I couldnt respect my mother if she did that to me and the children going through that probably won't respect theirs either.  My husband grew up in foster care and no matter what his mom did to try to make amends it was never enough.  You can't get your childhood back.  Many say move on, but that's hard to do when your life is turned upside down when you're a child and you left wondering...why didn't my mother love me enough to raise me.  I'm not talking about the parents who are doing whatever it takes to care for the child...just the ones who feel like they have something better to do with their time.

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:38 AM

ETA - She also did pretty much the same thing with me and my sister growing up. I see nothing weird about it.  Then again - with that said - I'm biast. lol

by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:39 AM

My grandma raised me!
It wasn't until after I had kids that my mother and I had a relationship and I'm really glad she is trying!

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:40 AM
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 You cant fault a mom for working to support her child.  That right there was a terrible thing to say.  I hate that I have to miss out on going to pre K with my DD but making sure she has a stable house and nice future is more important that me not working and coloring with her at school when we do the same things at home.

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