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How do I convince my DH to ttc?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Dh and I have one child. Ever since we got together we talked about having multiple children but now DH isn't so sure. Our LO will be 2 soon and I am having baby fever. I'm trying to convince DH that we should start ttc but he keeps saying no because of what I went through when I had our DD. That is his only reason. 

I had a very horrific labor and while I understand that he doesn't want that to happen again, we now know what to look out for and every pregnancy is different. How can I convince him that pregnancy #2 won't be bad just because pregnancy #1 was?

I should also add that I am very healthy now and I would consult with my OBGYN before ttc just to be sure that I'm physically ready. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:12 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:41 AM

You're right, I know it scared him more than me. And that's why I would talk to my doctor before ttc. 


Quoting Anonymous:

You think? You should know it did! How could it not? In his mind and from where he was standing he almost lost you! And doctors would either closely monitor you label you high rish or just flat out tell you pregnancy might be not such a good idea.


Quoting Anonymous:

I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't remember most of what happened and he was saw the entire thing so I think it scares him more than me. But I also know that they will keep a closer eye on me knowing what happened before. 



Quoting Anonymous:

After reading your other reply you would be high risk pregnancy and i understand where your husband is coming from. I wouldn't want to ttc either. But that's just me





Quoting Anonymous:

I don't. But I also don't want to let the fear of what happened keep me from having more kids. 




Quoting Anonymous:

How do you know it won't be as bad as #1?













MrsMedina90
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:43 AM
I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:44 AM

I'll run this by DH. Thank you! 


Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

It might also help if you get the notes from the doctor and talk to him about what happened during the delivery and the chances it could happen again.


Quoting Anonymous:

That's a great idea. I think it would help him a lot to talk to someone. He doesn't like talking about it at all, even with me. I ask questions a lot because I don't remember anything and I really want to know what went on when my child was born and he will barely answer me. Maybe talking to a therapist will help him sort things out. 


Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

Do some of the footwork.  Talk to your OB.

If your DH might be traumatized, perhaps some talk therapy could help you both come to terms?







Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:45 AM

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 


Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:45 AM

stop taking bc

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:47 AM

I wouldn't do that without talking to him first. lol


Quoting Anonymous:

stop taking bc



horseap
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:47 AM

 It may not be that he doesnt want another kid.  It may be he just is just to afraid of losing you..There are other ways to have children and be a parent.  Talking to him is the only way to work this through.

MrsMedina90
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:48 AM
Lol I wanted 6 and SO wanted 3 but it looks like we both went through the same thing except I wasn't in preterm labor. Just remember that it's because he doesn't want to loose you.. To him that was (at least for my SO) the scariest day of his life.

Quoting Anonymous:

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 



Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:49 AM

I know the only reason he doesn't want to ttc is because of what happened. I know he wants more kids. We'll definitely consider other options but I want to try talking to doctors first and see if that convinces him that we can have another one before we look into something else. 


Quoting horseap:

 It may not be that he doesnt want another kid.  It may be he just is just to afraid of losing you..There are other ways to have children and be a parent.  Talking to him is the only way to work this through.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:50 AM

DH tells me that all the time. He says that I'll never understand how scary it was because I wasn't really "there".


Quoting MrsMedina90:

Lol I wanted 6 and SO wanted 3 but it looks like we both went through the same thing except I wasn't in preterm labor. Just remember that it's because he doesn't want to loose you.. To him that was (at least for my SO) the scariest day of his life.

Quoting Anonymous:

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 



Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though






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