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How do I convince my DH to ttc?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Dh and I have one child. Ever since we got together we talked about having multiple children but now DH isn't so sure. Our LO will be 2 soon and I am having baby fever. I'm trying to convince DH that we should start ttc but he keeps saying no because of what I went through when I had our DD. That is his only reason. 

I had a very horrific labor and while I understand that he doesn't want that to happen again, we now know what to look out for and every pregnancy is different. How can I convince him that pregnancy #2 won't be bad just because pregnancy #1 was?

I should also add that I am very healthy now and I would consult with my OBGYN before ttc just to be sure that I'm physically ready. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:12 AM
Replies (31-40):
sweetmomma326
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:51 AM

My first pregnancy was awful.  I almost died at 25 weeks because I had an infection take over my body, somehow ended up with E. Coli, and a month later, I was diagnosed with Cholestasis.  I had to be induced at 37 wks because of the risk of a stillbirth.  7 month later, I wound up pregnant again.  I went into early labor at 20 weeks, was diagnosed with Cholestasis AGAIN, had to take shots every day, and ended up giving birth at 35 weeks.  He was in the NICU for the first month of his life, his lungs collapsed in the hospital I gave birth in, which didn't have a NICU.  He had to be put unconscious and have life support turned on.  He was airlifted to a hospital out of state.  He is fine now though, I want to maybe try in 5 years for a daughter, but I really don't think I will after what happened with my last child.  I thought I knew what to look out for, but boy was I wrong.  I almost lost my baby boy.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:52 AM

 My advice if your DH is scared about what could happen is that you should set up a appointment with your OB/GYN and ask questions about getting pregnant again. Have your DH ask any questions he might have and that way he can get his questions answered from a doctor. Thats all I got.

Mychele
by Ruby Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:54 AM
Maybe take your husband to the dr with you to discuss his concerns.
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calvinsmommy18
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:55 AM

 give him a little time, maybe he will come around, I wanted to ttc when ds was 2 but dh didnt want to yet, then when ds was 2 1/2 I got my IUD out, but I didnt get pregnant til ds was nearly 3, so my kids are 3yrs 8 months apart, but now I have my ds and my dd and its so nice to have a little larger age gap in there. Ds is nearly 5 and he can do some things on his own and thats very helpful with having a 1 yr old too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:56 AM
Like i said they'd label you or tell you.... ok my dh absolutely definitely didn't want anymore babies, i did. With my babies i had complications during labor it wasn't fun or great to witness for him. Last year Valentines day he said he would like to try and if it didn't happen then it's not ment to be i thought every pregnancy wasn't the same we're both working we're financially doing great why not?? I found out i was pregnant in April my entire pregnancy was painful i even bled at one point. His fears came true :( in December i went into labor and again it wasn't going smoothly it even got to a point where i was on oxygen babys heart rate was dropping. I don't ever want to experience all of that ever again or my baby. Im not fit to do it anymore. Im just saying...know your limits be safe and get a full physical take DH with you and ask So Doc What'dya say?? Can we have another baby!!!? Lol Help him talk to him let him know it's all going to be ok =>


Quoting Anonymous:

You're right, I know it scared him more than me. And that's why I would talk to my doctor before ttc. 



Quoting Anonymous:

You think? You should know it did! How could it not? In his mind and from where he was standing he almost lost you! And doctors would either closely monitor you label you high rish or just flat out tell you pregnancy might be not such a good idea.





Quoting Anonymous:

I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't remember most of what happened and he was saw the entire thing so I think it scares him more than me. But I also know that they will keep a closer eye on me knowing what happened before. 




Quoting Anonymous:

After reading your other reply you would be high risk pregnancy and i understand where your husband is coming from. I wouldn't want to ttc either. But that's just me








Quoting Anonymous:

I don't. But I also don't want to let the fear of what happened keep me from having more kids. 





Quoting Anonymous:

How do you know it won't be as bad as #1?



















MrsMedina90
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:56 AM
SO told me that too.. He told me to put myself his shoes not knowing what would happen to his other half. At that point you can't blame them, I couldn't let my SO do something that could kill him so you know their right.

Maybe take him to the doctor with you to hear the risks together and make a decision that'll make you both happy. Me and my SO agreed that if we want another DS/DD later then we'll adopt.


Quoting Anonymous:

DH tells me that all the time. He says that I'll never understand how scary it was because I wasn't really "there".



Quoting MrsMedina90:

Lol I wanted 6 and SO wanted 3 but it looks like we both went through the same thing except I wasn't in preterm labor. Just remember that it's because he doesn't want to loose you.. To him that was (at least for my SO) the scariest day of his life.



Quoting Anonymous:

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 




Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though








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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:57 AM

I am so sorry :( 


Quoting sweetmomma326:

My first pregnancy was awful.  I almost died at 25 weeks because I had an infection take over my body, somehow ended up with E. Coli, and a month later, I was diagnosed with Cholestasis.  I had to be induced at 37 wks because of the risk of a stillbirth.  7 month later, I wound up pregnant again.  I went into early labor at 20 weeks, was diagnosed with Cholestasis AGAIN, had to take shots every day, and ended up giving birth at 35 weeks.  He was in the NICU for the first month of his life, his lungs collapsed in the hospital I gave birth in, which didn't have a NICU.  He had to be put unconscious and have life support turned on.  He was airlifted to a hospital out of state.  He is fine now though, I want to maybe try in 5 years for a daughter, but I really don't think I will after what happened with my last child.  I thought I knew what to look out for, but boy was I wrong.  I almost lost my baby boy.



sweetmomma326
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:00 AM


It was really scary.  I remember when he came out he was making this squeaky noise and I knew something was wrong, but the nurse was like he is breathing...an hour later the OBGYN told me I couldnt hold him because he was getting oxygen therapy.  Hours after that, his Ped came in and told me that there was nothing else they could do, he had to be transferred to another hospital.  I didnt get to feed him until he was 3 weeks old, all we could do was touch him.  No holding, nothing.  Just touch.  It was so scary.  It really messed with my bonding ability too.  I am just now able to enjoy him and feel like a real true mommy.  It just took a toll on me mentally.  I hope I can have another without any problems. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I am so sorry :( 


Quoting sweetmomma326:

My first pregnancy was awful.  I almost died at 25 weeks because I had an infection take over my body, somehow ended up with E. Coli, and a month later, I was diagnosed with Cholestasis.  I had to be induced at 37 wks because of the risk of a stillbirth.  7 month later, I wound up pregnant again.  I went into early labor at 20 weeks, was diagnosed with Cholestasis AGAIN, had to take shots every day, and ended up giving birth at 35 weeks.  He was in the NICU for the first month of his life, his lungs collapsed in the hospital I gave birth in, which didn't have a NICU.  He had to be put unconscious and have life support turned on.  He was airlifted to a hospital out of state.  He is fine now though, I want to maybe try in 5 years for a daughter, but I really don't think I will after what happened with my last child.  I thought I knew what to look out for, but boy was I wrong.  I almost lost my baby boy.





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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:01 AM

He will definitely be coming to the doctor appointment with me. I'm hoping that changes his mind a little


Quoting MrsMedina90:

SO told me that too.. He told me to put myself his shoes not knowing what would happen to his other half. At that point you can't blame them, I couldn't let my SO do something that could kill him so you know their right.

Maybe take him to the doctor with you to hear the risks together and make a decision that'll make you both happy. Me and my SO agreed that if we want another DS/DD later then we'll adopt.


Quoting Anonymous:

DH tells me that all the time. He says that I'll never understand how scary it was because I wasn't really "there".



Quoting MrsMedina90:

Lol I wanted 6 and SO wanted 3 but it looks like we both went through the same thing except I wasn't in preterm labor. Just remember that it's because he doesn't want to loose you.. To him that was (at least for my SO) the scariest day of his life.



Quoting Anonymous:

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 




Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though










Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:02 AM

That's a great idea. This will definitely be our first step into ttc


Quoting Anonymous:

 My advice if your DH is scared about what could happen is that you should set up a appointment with your OB/GYN and ask questions about getting pregnant again. Have your DH ask any questions he might have and that way he can get his questions answered from a doctor. Thats all I got.



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