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How do I convince my DH to ttc?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Dh and I have one child. Ever since we got together we talked about having multiple children but now DH isn't so sure. Our LO will be 2 soon and I am having baby fever. I'm trying to convince DH that we should start ttc but he keeps saying no because of what I went through when I had our DD. That is his only reason. 

I had a very horrific labor and while I understand that he doesn't want that to happen again, we now know what to look out for and every pregnancy is different. How can I convince him that pregnancy #2 won't be bad just because pregnancy #1 was?

I should also add that I am very healthy now and I would consult with my OBGYN before ttc just to be sure that I'm physically ready. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:12 AM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:03 AM

I hope you can too. I'm sorry you went through all of that. 


Quoting sweetmomma326:


It was really scary.  I remember when he came out he was making this squeaky noise and I knew something was wrong, but the nurse was like he is breathing...an hour later the OBGYN told me I couldnt hold him because he was getting oxygen therapy.  Hours after that, his Ped came in and told me that there was nothing else they could do, he had to be transferred to another hospital.  I didnt get to feed him until he was 3 weeks old, all we could do was touch him.  No holding, nothing.  Just touch.  It was so scary.  It really messed with my bonding ability too.  I am just now able to enjoy him and feel like a real true mommy.  It just took a toll on me mentally.  I hope I can have another without any problems. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I am so sorry :( 


Quoting sweetmomma326:

My first pregnancy was awful.  I almost died at 25 weeks because I had an infection take over my body, somehow ended up with E. Coli, and a month later, I was diagnosed with Cholestasis.  I had to be induced at 37 wks because of the risk of a stillbirth.  7 month later, I wound up pregnant again.  I went into early labor at 20 weeks, was diagnosed with Cholestasis AGAIN, had to take shots every day, and ended up giving birth at 35 weeks.  He was in the NICU for the first month of his life, his lungs collapsed in the hospital I gave birth in, which didn't have a NICU.  He had to be put unconscious and have life support turned on.  He was airlifted to a hospital out of state.  He is fine now though, I want to maybe try in 5 years for a daughter, but I really don't think I will after what happened with my last child.  I thought I knew what to look out for, but boy was I wrong.  I almost lost my baby boy.







Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:07 AM
What worked for me was to sit down and discuss his reasons for not wanting another right now and my reasons for wanting another. We discussed who's desire was the strongest and what, if anything, we could do to fix his reasons for not wanting another right then. We had three much older kids so he was Leary of starting over plus he wanted our cars paid off and more in savings. We made a plan to do those things first. We accomplished that but then struggled with infertility for another three yrs. we went through fertility treatments that wouldn't have happened if he wasn't on board 100% (obviously).
Now, two years after the birth of our last he says he doesn't understand why he was so worried about starting over again and our family is complete with our last baby.
He HAS to be on board completely or your whole family will suffer. Find out his reasons and see if they are workable.

Quoting Anonymous:

Dh and I have one child. Ever since we got together we talked about having multiple children but now DH isn't so sure. Our LO will be 2 soon and I am having baby fever. I'm trying to convince DH that we should start ttc but he keeps saying no because of what I went through when I had our DD. That is his only reason. 

I had a very horrific labor and while I understand that he doesn't want that to happen again, we now know what to look out for and every pregnancy is different. How can I convince him that pregnancy #2 won't be bad just because pregnancy #1 was?

I should also add that I am very healthy now and I would consult with my OBGYN before ttc just to be sure that I'm physically ready. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:09 AM

I'm so sorry :( 

We would definitely need the doctors go ahead before ttc


Quoting Anonymous:

Like i said they'd label you or tell you.... ok my dh absolutely definitely didn't want anymore babies, i did. With my babies i had complications during labor it wasn't fun or great to witness for him. Last year Valentines day he said he would like to try and if it didn't happen then it's not ment to be i thought every pregnancy wasn't the same we're both working we're financially doing great why not?? I found out i was pregnant in April my entire pregnancy was painful i even bled at one point. His fears came true :( in December i went into labor and again it wasn't going smoothly it even got to a point where i was on oxygen babys heart rate was dropping. I don't ever want to experience all of that ever again or my baby. Im not fit to do it anymore. Im just saying...know your limits be safe and get a full physical take DH with you and ask So Doc What'dya say?? Can we have another baby!!!? Lol Help him talk to him let him know it's all going to be ok =>


Quoting Anonymous:

You're right, I know it scared him more than me. And that's why I would talk to my doctor before ttc. 



Quoting Anonymous:

You think? You should know it did! How could it not? In his mind and from where he was standing he almost lost you! And doctors would either closely monitor you label you high rish or just flat out tell you pregnancy might be not such a good idea.





Quoting Anonymous:

I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't remember most of what happened and he was saw the entire thing so I think it scares him more than me. But I also know that they will keep a closer eye on me knowing what happened before. 




Quoting Anonymous:

After reading your other reply you would be high risk pregnancy and i understand where your husband is coming from. I wouldn't want to ttc either. But that's just me








Quoting Anonymous:

I don't. But I also don't want to let the fear of what happened keep me from having more kids. 





Quoting Anonymous:

How do you know it won't be as bad as #1?





















MrsMedina90
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:10 AM
Well I hope you get the good news your looking for and that he agrees :) good luck

Quoting Anonymous:

He will definitely be coming to the doctor appointment with me. I'm hoping that changes his mind a little



Quoting MrsMedina90:

SO told me that too.. He told me to put myself his shoes not knowing what would happen to his other half. At that point you can't blame them, I couldn't let my SO do something that could kill him so you know their right.



Maybe take him to the doctor with you to hear the risks together and make a decision that'll make you both happy. Me and my SO agreed that if we want another DS/DD later then we'll adopt.




Quoting Anonymous:

DH tells me that all the time. He says that I'll never understand how scary it was because I wasn't really "there".




Quoting MrsMedina90:

Lol I wanted 6 and SO wanted 3 but it looks like we both went through the same thing except I wasn't in preterm labor. Just remember that it's because he doesn't want to loose you.. To him that was (at least for my SO) the scariest day of his life.





Quoting Anonymous:

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 





Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though













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Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:11 AM

How far are you willing to go or do to have another baby?????

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:11 AM

His has told me that his only reason is his fear of a bad labor again. But you have some great ideas. I'll have to approach him this way and hopefully we can see each other's side a little more clearly. I just wish he wasn't so scared to talk about things because I really want to know what he's thinking. 


Quoting Anonymous:

What worked for me was to sit down and discuss his reasons for not wanting another right now and my reasons for wanting another. We discussed who's desire was the strongest and what, if anything, we could do to fix his reasons for not wanting another right then. We had three much older kids so he was Leary of starting over plus he wanted our cars paid off and more in savings. We made a plan to do those things first. We accomplished that but then struggled with infertility for another three yrs. we went through fertility treatments that wouldn't have happened if he wasn't on board 100% (obviously).
Now, two years after the birth of our last he says he doesn't understand why he was so worried about starting over again and our family is complete with our last baby.
He HAS to be on board completely or your whole family will suffer. Find out his reasons and see if they are workable.

Quoting Anonymous:

Dh and I have one child. Ever since we got together we talked about having multiple children but now DH isn't so sure. Our LO will be 2 soon and I am having baby fever. I'm trying to convince DH that we should start ttc but he keeps saying no because of what I went through when I had our DD. That is his only reason. 

I had a very horrific labor and while I understand that he doesn't want that to happen again, we now know what to look out for and every pregnancy is different. How can I convince him that pregnancy #2 won't be bad just because pregnancy #1 was?

I should also add that I am very healthy now and I would consult with my OBGYN before ttc just to be sure that I'm physically ready. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:13 AM

I would do almost anything to have another one. I know in my heart that I want more. But I would never do anything behind his back and I would talk to a doctor to be sure that I am physically ready. We would discuss other options, like adoption, if the doctor tells us no. 

Quoting Sassy762:

How far are you willing to go or do to have another baby?????



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:14 AM

Thank you so much! 


Quoting MrsMedina90:

Well I hope you get the good news your looking for and that he agrees :) good luck

Quoting Anonymous:

He will definitely be coming to the doctor appointment with me. I'm hoping that changes his mind a little



Quoting MrsMedina90:

SO told me that too.. He told me to put myself his shoes not knowing what would happen to his other half. At that point you can't blame them, I couldn't let my SO do something that could kill him so you know their right.



Maybe take him to the doctor with you to hear the risks together and make a decision that'll make you both happy. Me and my SO agreed that if we want another DS/DD later then we'll adopt.




Quoting Anonymous:

DH tells me that all the time. He says that I'll never understand how scary it was because I wasn't really "there".




Quoting MrsMedina90:

Lol I wanted 6 and SO wanted 3 but it looks like we both went through the same thing except I wasn't in preterm labor. Just remember that it's because he doesn't want to loose you.. To him that was (at least for my SO) the scariest day of his life.





Quoting Anonymous:

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 





Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though















Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:14 AM
Yes you do and i hope you get an ay okay!! Thank you it's ok we're happy and DH is in love with his new baby. Good luck and keep us updated!! I would really like to follow your baby story =>


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm so sorry :( 

We would definitely need the doctors go ahead before ttc



Quoting Anonymous:

Like i said they'd label you or tell you.... ok my dh absolutely definitely didn't want anymore babies, i did. With my babies i had complications during labor it wasn't fun or great to witness for him. Last year Valentines day he said he would like to try and if it didn't happen then it's not ment to be i thought every pregnancy wasn't the same we're both working we're financially doing great why not?? I found out i was pregnant in April my entire pregnancy was painful i even bled at one point. His fears came true :( in December i went into labor and again it wasn't going smoothly it even got to a point where i was on oxygen babys heart rate was dropping. I don't ever want to experience all of that ever again or my baby. Im not fit to do it anymore. Im just saying...know your limits be safe and get a full physical take DH with you and ask So Doc What'dya say?? Can we have another baby!!!? Lol Help him talk to him let him know it's all going to be ok =>





Quoting Anonymous:

You're right, I know it scared him more than me. And that's why I would talk to my doctor before ttc. 




Quoting Anonymous:

You think? You should know it did! How could it not? In his mind and from where he was standing he almost lost you! And doctors would either closely monitor you label you high rish or just flat out tell you pregnancy might be not such a good idea.








Quoting Anonymous:

I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't remember most of what happened and he was saw the entire thing so I think it scares him more than me. But I also know that they will keep a closer eye on me knowing what happened before. 





Quoting Anonymous:

After reading your other reply you would be high risk pregnancy and i understand where your husband is coming from. I wouldn't want to ttc either. But that's just me











Quoting Anonymous:

I don't. But I also don't want to let the fear of what happened keep me from having more kids. 






Quoting Anonymous:

How do you know it won't be as bad as #1?





























MrsMedina90
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:15 AM
Your welcome :)

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you so much! 



Quoting MrsMedina90:

Well I hope you get the good news your looking for and that he agrees :) good luck



Quoting Anonymous:

He will definitely be coming to the doctor appointment with me. I'm hoping that changes his mind a little




Quoting MrsMedina90:

SO told me that too.. He told me to put myself his shoes not knowing what would happen to his other half. At that point you can't blame them, I couldn't let my SO do something that could kill him so you know their right.





Maybe take him to the doctor with you to hear the risks together and make a decision that'll make you both happy. Me and my SO agreed that if we want another DS/DD later then we'll adopt.






Quoting Anonymous:

DH tells me that all the time. He says that I'll never understand how scary it was because I wasn't really "there".





Quoting MrsMedina90:

Lol I wanted 6 and SO wanted 3 but it looks like we both went through the same thing except I wasn't in preterm labor. Just remember that it's because he doesn't want to loose you.. To him that was (at least for my SO) the scariest day of his life.







Quoting Anonymous:

Awh I'm sorry! When we first got together he wanted 6 kids. I always told him that we would never have that many but definitely a few. lol thank you! 






Quoting MrsMedina90:

I'd help but SO told me that DS would be our only the moment he walked into the ICU.. DS will be 2 in June and he is staying strong to his word lol good luck though



















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