Those were his exact words, and I'm very sensitive to the situation because DD's bio-dad does not want to see her, hear about her, or pay child support. He was going to willingly sign over rights. I just don't understand why he would not WANT his child.
So when he told me that, of course it makes me feel like he does not love and care for my DD. He has been very involved in her life since she was born and my DD adores him, but because we may not stay together he doesn't want to adopt her. She is almost a year old, no matter if he adopts her or not that's the only daddy she has ever known, so even if we did get divorced later down the road that would still be her dad in her eyes at least.
Am I being irrational over this? He doesn't see my side and I have no intention of getting divorced, I love him and his daughter as much as I love my own, but my feelings are really hurt by this.
I'd probably feel the same way as you. In fact, we wouldn't be getting married. Not because I'm being dramatic, but because I'd see that as a huge red flag.
Hello he doesnt see the rest of his life with you. Im sorry that he is such an ass.
Look, I understand why this is hurtful but you state that he doesn't see your side and I have to wonder, do you see his?
He has every right, even a responsibiity to think very carefully about this. Your baby is not even a year old which implies your marriage is still pretty new and you guys had to have moved pretty quickly into this committment. He may love you and your baby but that doesn't mean rushing headlong into a decision that will affect him and your child for the rest of their lives. What's the rush???
No, I don't think you're overreacting. He's going back on something he said he would do. Basically telling you that he doesn't think your marriage will last. And (this may be the irrational part) he doesn't love your dd enough to be willing to be responsible for her in the event of a divorce. Yep, he's being an ass.
If you have no intention of divorcing over it-you have to stop re-living it. Let it go.....
I think he's been a real asshole for waiting until AFTER the wedding to tell you how he really feels. I understand where he's coming from in a sense, but that's a real depressing situation, that he's looking at divorce and child support issues a whole month into your marriage? Damn.
thiiiiis
Quoting Litlmama87:
Wow...
I'd probably feel the same way as you. In fact, we wouldn't be getting married. Not because I'm being dramatic, but because I'd see that as a huge red flag.
I think my husband's a sociopath