Everyone has an opinion, and I see tons of posts about this. I'm not necessarily intended to open a can of worms, but URGH!
My husband has a child with another woman. Previously they'd had a verbal agreement that he would give her $75 2x a month (so $150/month) for child support. This is actually OVER what our state guidlines say he should pay based off his income. He spoke with a lawyer, and the lawyer said that a verbal agreement is acceptable.
The mother of the child is essentially a piece of work. I am ALL for state help for people who need it, I pay my taxes, but this person is a drain on the tax dollar. She is 22, and has never worked a day in her life. She currently gets around $500/month for food stamps, and recently tried to apply for disability b/c she had a seizure once. ONCE. lol. They denied her, so then she tried to apply for FIP (which if you aren't familiar, basically the state pays you money while you try to find a job or go to school) - they denied her b/c she told them she doesn't plan on attending college, and she can't apply for jobs because she doesn't have a car. So they denied her. I should also mention that she has been to the ER about 12-15 times in the past year. If her child is coming down with a cold, and it's 10pm and he's coughing, she goes to the ER. She is now pregnant again, and she was having stomach cramps, so she went to the ER. She has title 19, so the state pays for that too.
So anyways, after all this, she called my husband, telling him she needs more money because she is pregnant again, and wants to move into an apartment with her new boyfriend, and $150 isn't enough to pay the rent. My husband told her he really can't afford to pay more than that, and also pay for his own bills. She got nasty and told him he was a bad father b/c he was basically saying he didn't want to pay for a place for his son to live. Then her new boyfriend got on the phone and said they were calling the child support agency and would be "laughing their asses off when half his checks would go to child support."
First of all, her new baby is NOT my husband's child. It's with her new boyfriend whom she just recently got an apartment with... and her boyfriend is currently married to someone else and has 3 other kids. Jerry Springer anyone?
I'm glad she decided that it was appropriate to have another baby in her current financial situation.
Also, I agree that my husband should support his son.. but I'm sorry, supporting a child is the responsibility of BOTH parents. It's not, have a baby with someone, break up with them, and then b/c they're the dad they have to pay for the child. If the state is denying you aid, and disability then they're saying that you should be able to go out and get yourself a f-ing job. *end rant*
Again. I am all for state assistence for those who need it, and I know a lot of single moms are dumped on, and really need help, but it's people like my husband's ex who just enforce this awful stereotype. What is wrong with this society that women think it's okay to live like this?