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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

S.O. drama with ex fiancé ***update after talking***

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies
Background: My SO (W) was engaged about 3 years ago, the girl (H) was pregnant by another man when they first started dating. W was there for the entire pregnancy, birth and just before the child turned 2 the relationship ended, H was cheating and didn't want anything to do with W any more.

Here is my situation, W has not seen or spoke to H since the breakup almost 3 years ago. When we got together he told me about that relationship and I asked if he would ever try to get in contact with H or her child again, he said never there was too much hurt there. So today I get a call from W saying he has an opportunity to see the child again and wants to know my opinion. I told W I wasn't comfortable with him starting a relationship ( as friends) with the child and mother again. It went from him saying he just wants to see how the child is doing to providing for the child if they don't have something and that he wants to be active in the childs life. I am floored that in the same breath as him wanting me and my kid to relocate to live with him and start our own family that he would go and contact H to start a relationship back up with her child.

Am I wrong for not wanting him to be around this kid he helped raised but hasn't had contact with for the last 3 years?

***Update***

I told W I don't want him seeing this girl since its not just a friendship with the child he would have to have but with his ex as well. He told me he's seeing the child and I can just deal with it or move on because I'm just being selfish. He said the girl would call him by his first name and when I asked if it would be just a one time thing since he initially said all he wanted was to make sure she's taken care of he said he hasn't decided if spending time with them will become a regular thing. I'm pissed that he isn't taking my feelings into account at all and when I said I don't want this meeting done at the exs place he said I have no right to place restrictions on him, at this point it's looking like our relationship won't be lasting much longer.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
girlywifey
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:04 PM
2 moms liked this

You are not wrong!!! That is not his child and the child does not even remember him!!!! How would they explain to the child who he is? He goes from being hurt to wanting to provide for her? No that is crazy.

Kokoscold
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:08 PM

Wrong very wrong

I can see why you'd have issues with the ex but if it's his kid and he's trying to have a relationship with HIS kid it's shitty of you to think he shouldn't.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:11 PM
Why did he even still have her contact info
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:16 PM
The child is not his, H was pregnant when they got together. If it was his child I would feel differently but it's not his and he's had no contact with them since the relationship ended.

Quoting Kokoscold:

Wrong very wrong


I can see why you'd have issues with the ex but if it's his kid and he's trying to have a relationship with HIS kid it's shitty of you to think he shouldn't.


emilysmom8
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:18 PM

 You are not wrong, it sounds like he still loves his ex

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:18 PM

 I would not be happy either. He has no business starting a relationship with a child that is not his and doesn't remember him. What the hell for?

jacquelynxox
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:18 PM
I wouldn't be ok with it.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ecerka
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:19 PM
You are so not wrong. It's crazy that he'd try to support or see a child he wasn't the father of and hasn't seen in 3 yrs.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Grumpylilpixy
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:19 PM

I wouldn't be comfortable about it.

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:21 PM

ummm, no. that is wrong on so many levels. what if he goes and establishes a paternal role, things go south, and now is court order FORCED to pay for the child.

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