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Help! I need help with my daughter!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Ok, I am in some serious need of advice. My dd is 6. She always comes first and always will. She is going through something right now and I am not sure how to help her or fix it.

Here is a little back story. She has never met her father. He was abusive and I left while pregnant. He decided that since I left the relationship, that he would never have anything to do with dd. When dd was just over a year old, I started dating a good guy friend of ours who was in the military. When she was 2, we got married. After he got out of the military, he couldnt handle civilian life. He changed and became abusive. He said he didnt want help. We separated and divorced when she was around 4.

I had remained single for awhile. Early last year, my dd had lots of issues with learning, focusing and behaviors. We were told to see her pedi, and he had us go see a psychiatrist. After many appointments and lots of testing, she was diagnosed with SPD and moderate/severe ADHD. I didnt medicate right away. I changed her diet completely and she does activities to burn her energy. But her school work was suffering and it wasnt helping.

So shes now on a low dose of meds. They help a little, but wear off extremely fast.

Here's my problem. Almost a year ago, I started dating someone. Someone I've known for years. We've taken things slow. My dd loves my SO. She tells me that often. When he's not here, she's asking when he's coming over again. She even asked me if she could marry him when she's all grown up someday. Haha But despite all of that, for the past two months she's been treating him like crap to his face! Horrible attitudes. If he asks her to please pick something up she just says no or ignores him. She even said "hey fatty." To him last week! All of that is very disrespectful and not tolerated! I discipline her when this happens. My SO does not discipline her as that is my job.

My SO is sooooooooooo stressed out by her. He told me he's not sure how much more he can handle and has thought about leaving. He said he doesn't want to leave, but her blatant disrespect is really affecting him.

I've had talks with dd asking if maybe she doesnt like SO, but she swears she does and she says she doesnt know why shes so mean to him.

Have any of you ever been through this before? What should I do?!
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:53 PM
Replies (31-32):
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:23 PM
She is jealous..that you are not spending all your time with her.bust her butt when she does it
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:24 PM

Two things, ADHD meds are HORRIBLE! They are completely evil! I have adhd and was on them as a child... They change children sooo much! My middle ds has adhd and we give him dha... Its all natural AND does exactly what you would think the prescription meds should do but don't... Give it a shot, for the sake fo your dd and your SO!!! 

My dd did (and still does) the same thing to my dh. We just sit down and talk to her. She had a "daddy" walk away from her for the same reason your ex did... He changed!  Dh has been my dd's daddy for two years and still goes through days where she is really insecure and gets cruel to him... She's also a lot like mommy and needs to be left alone when she first wakes up, lol. Have your SO take her out for "bonding" time. But, first things first, GET HER OFF THOSE MEDS! Her pedi and psych are going to tell you "its not the meds" but please don't listen to them! It IS the meds. The meds are amplifying her insecurities and anxieties. She honestly can't control it and as her mama you need to be her voice.

Ds is doing SO much better and its only been three weeks. We saw improvement in the first few days. And ds is still himself, just more focused and a little less hyper. Pm me if you need more info. I will gladly talk to you about this and give you ALL the info you need. GL Mama!

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