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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband is abusing me.. is it possible to save our marriage? UPDATE on page 32

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 I've been with my husband for three years.  We have two small children together. 

 The abuse didn't start until i was pregnant with our first child. When I say abuse, I want to clarify what I'm talking about. He's emotionally and verbally abusive in a sence that he belittles me frequently, talks to me like I'm inferior to him, screams at me & picks on me for my shortcomings, usually when we are fighting. He always seems to find a way to blame me whenever things happen. When he hits me, its always out of anger and doesn't happen on a constant basis. It usually depends on how stressed out he is. He doesn't usually leave bruise marks. He chokes and punches me. Never in the face but he has punched me in the back of the head a few times. 

Today we got into an arguement  over struggles that we are having financially. I feel like we should handle these things together, but he always  gets worked up and takes it out on me. Today we were in our bedroom. The kids were playing & I was trying to talk to him about our situation. He took a temper tantrum and walked off. You would think the fact that I know how he gets when he's upset would have made me stay upstairs, and I should have, but I went downstairs & tried to talk to him. I left the children upstairs, baby gate was up so they couldn't get out. Things got heated between him and I so I went upstairs to sit with my kids. When I got up there, they were sitting on my bed covered head to toe in powdered Ajax. I hid it behind my dresser awhile ago and forgot about it. My oldest toddler somehow found it (it wasn't out in the open or an easy to reach place I swear). I panicked and ran them into the bathtub. I brang them downstairs to get diapers put on them. I handed my youngest to him (1 yo) and started putting a diaper on my toddler. He suddenly freaked out. He sat the baby on the couch, ran over to me and started punching me. I huddled in a ball & kept repeating "please stop, please stop". My children were crying and that made me cry. Eventually he did stop. The children getting into Ajax was the trigger, he was angry because I "allowed" it to happen.  This was probably the worst incedence as of now. 

I desperately want to make my marriage work. He's a good man and I know he loves me, as surprising as that sounds. He grew up in a very violent home and doesn't seem to know how to have a normal relationship. He feels like he has to "punish" me when he feels I've done wrong. He has a very sweet side  typically and hasn't hit our kids. 

What I'm worried about is firstly, he doesn't mind doing this in front of our kids and lastly he seems to be getting worse. I don't want to leave him and I'm willing to try anything. Have any of you had a successful abusive relationship? 


 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:39 PM
Replies (601-610):
STRAWBERRYRAIN
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:38 PM

nope he will not change and it will only get worse and worse until you end up dead. get out now!!!

terisav704
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Put you big girl panties on and get the hell out of there today for yours and your kids sake.

NYChicago
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:26 PM
The ladies here are right. He's going to "love you" to death if you don't get yourself and children out of there fast. Go. Call the police and get to a safe house. He needs anger management therapy badly but you can't be around as his punching bag on the meantime.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 133 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:33 PM
Seriously??

Quoting ifeomachukwu:

Wow!have u ever prayed for your husband? Why not try that first and see if God wil not change him for good. Divorce is not the best.
LaLa_Ivory
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:33 PM
leave, fast.
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LaLa_Ivory
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:34 PM
lol. ikr.


Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously??



Quoting ifeomachukwu:

Wow!have u ever prayed for your husband? Why not try that first and see if God wil not change him for good. Divorce is not the best.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 133 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:40 PM
Whackadooo!

Quoting LaLa_Ivory:

lol. ikr.




Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously??





Quoting ifeomachukwu:

Wow!have u ever prayed for your husband? Why not try that first and see if God wil not change him for good. Divorce is not the best.

emptynesst
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:40 PM
Leave!!! Been there...it will only get worse! Your kids are going to have serious issues from this...the longer you stay, the worse it will be, and just because he hasn't hit the kids yet...does not mean he wont!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 134 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:32 PM
You need to remember that you children will not only think its okay to treat you that way, they will treat their spouses that way, or abuse their children. They come first forget your marriage!
momoftwoboys12
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:45 PM
Quoting piratehooker:



All I'm saying is he's willing to seek help. The theripist will have to make a report and I'm sure there is a high possibility of cps getting involved along with the police. And him knowing this will either make him or break him. People change if they choose to
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