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How does your birth order affect you, does it even? Therapist says it does.

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:26 AM
  • 16 Replies
My mother in law had a therapy session at one time, and never forgot it. Her therapist asked first, how many brothers/sisters she had, then described all of them to her, including herself, in terms of financial assets, determination, mental stability and happiness, based on JUST birth orders (such as first born, middle child, youngest, etc.) apparently it also resets itself after a third child? It was so odd I have to ask, does anyone know about birth orders, and the influence it has on us?
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by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:32 AM

I have no clue

Neuro
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:33 AM

Google it. It's a serious subject in psychology.

I am the first born. My Mom was a lazy parent so I am used to having to take on many responibilities regarding domestic work and child rearing. I was disciplined the hardest and more was expected of me. As a result, I become angered by incompetance easily, I am terrible with group work (I hold everyone to a high standard, I usually take the position of leader unless a more dominant person is available and I will pick up any and all slack so I tend to do more work than the other group members who do not meet my expectations). As the psychology dictates for a first born, I am also very independent but I very much respect authority, the "order of things" and while I was rebellious as a teen, I'm not out to "prove my individuality". My sister and brother on the other hand are very different in these regards.

rebeccarae
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:47 AM
What are they if I may ask? This is all fairly new to me. Besides this therapist and a handful of other times in my life it's never really been brought up. For him to describe them in a great detail, having never heard about them, or have spoken to my Mil before, it was really weird.


Quoting Neuro:

Google it. It's a serious subject in psychology.

I am the first born. My Mom was a lazy parent so I am used to having to take on many responibilities regarding domestic work and child rearing. I was disciplined the hardest and more was expected of me. As a result, I become angered by incompetance easily, I am terrible with group work (I hold everyone to a high standard, I usually take the position of leader unless a more dominant person is available and I will pick up any and all slack so I tend to do more work than the other group members who do not meet my expectations). As the psychology dictates for a first born, I am also very independent but I very much respect authority, the "order of things" and while I was rebellious as a teen, I'm not out to "prove my individuality". My sister and brother on the other hand are very different in these regards.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:59 AM
Yes. I learned about it in psychology. There is definitely something to it.
romalove
by SakePrincess on Feb. 8, 2013 at 6:02 AM

Birth order does have some impact.  Remember, we're half nurture and half nature.  It won't impact on nature, but definitely on nurture.  First borns, for instance, are usually better linguistically, as they are surrounded by adults and not children and hear more words.  

I am the oldest of four and I am classic for first borns.  My husband is oldest of three.  My middle child will tell you herself she has classic middle child syndrome, and my youngest was talking to me the other day about how she noticed she is the only youngest child of all her friends.  Her best friends, her boyfriend, most everyone she is close with they are all first borns.  She was thinking about why she would be attractive to them and why they are attractive to her.

Interesting, interesting psychological area of study.

duejan13th
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 6:05 AM
Bump for later
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pristine729
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 6:10 AM
I'm an only child... I read once that I shouldn't marry another only child or the baby of a family. Because only's and youngest's tend to be spoiled, I need someone who's the first born and used to compromise, lol!
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Neuro
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 6:13 AM

I'm not sure what you are asking, about my sister and brother? My sister is the middle child, she's very into "individuality", standing out and so on. She doesn't get as much attention from Mom so she's kind of resentful of my little brother because he is the baby of the family and gets more attention. My little brother is extremely social and happy go-lucky and he gets most of Mom's attention. I'm worried for my sister because she tends to seek love and attention from sources outside of the family and Mom does not recognize her accomplishments so much because Mom is occupied with the "baby" brother, however, Mom is willing to impart discipline so the balance between scolding and praise for my sister is very off as is with many middle children.

I've noticed with 4th children as youngest children, they are practically left to raise themselves or be raised by their siblings because the parents have laxed up so much and by then, the older children are usually grown up and uninterested in hanging out with someone half their age. They get the least parental attention as opposed to being the baby of the family due to the sheer number of children and the lax attitude of the parents. I've dated men that were 4th children and they really craved affection. That's it, just affection.

Quoting rebeccarae:

What are they if I may ask? This is all fairly new to me. Besides this therapist and a handful of other times in my life it's never really been brought up. For him to describe them in a great detail, having never heard about them, or have spoken to my Mil before, it was really weird.


Quoting Neuro:

Google it. It's a serious subject in psychology.

I am the first born. My Mom was a lazy parent so I am used to having to take on many responibilities regarding domestic work and child rearing. I was disciplined the hardest and more was expected of me. As a result, I become angered by incompetance easily, I am terrible with group work (I hold everyone to a high standard, I usually take the position of leader unless a more dominant person is available and I will pick up any and all slack so I tend to do more work than the other group members who do not meet my expectations). As the psychology dictates for a first born, I am also very independent but I very much respect authority, the "order of things" and while I was rebellious as a teen, I'm not out to "prove my individuality". My sister and brother on the other hand are very different in these regards.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 8, 2013 at 6:29 AM

I'm a pretty classic youngest child. Although I am also a 4th chils as well, AND I was the only girl....you can imagine I would get my way a lot, especially with 3 older brothers, 2 of which were almost in their teens when I was born, and my youngest brother, the 3rd child, if he picked on me, he would get in trouble, not only from my parents, but also my older brothers as well. But the draw backs of that are, I was more raised by my older brothers than my parents, and I have way more respect for them, than my own parents. When I became pregnant out of wedlock, I cared more about what they thought, than what my parents thought, although I do get really upset when I feel my father doesn't care about me. I've never really felt like pleaing my mother (shes generally a horrid person, but thats another story). I tend to hang out with older people, my husband is actually 1 year younger than my oldest brother, and 1 year older than my 2nd brother.

I have grown out of a lot of the traits a youngest siblings has, because there is no need to compete, or feel neglected as we all have our seperate lives and own families now. It is interesting though.

LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Feb. 8, 2013 at 6:33 AM
well you are the polar opposite of my eldest sister. guess it doesnt work like that in my family.

Quoting Neuro:

Google it. It's a serious subject in psychology.

I am the first born. My Mom was a lazy parent so I am used to having to take on many responibilities regarding domestic work and child rearing. I was disciplined the hardest and more was expected of me. As a result, I become angered by incompetance easily, I am terrible with group work (I hold everyone to a high standard, I usually take the position of leader unless a more dominant person is available and I will pick up any and all slack so I tend to do more work than the other group members who do not meet my expectations). As the psychology dictates for a first born, I am also very independent but I very much respect authority, the "order of things" and while I was rebellious as a teen, I'm not out to "prove my individuality". My sister and brother on the other hand are very different in these regards.

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