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Help. How would you feel?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, for the past two weeks anytime my husband is around and the commercial for the movie Safe Haven comes on he makes a random comment about Julianne Hough.  Last night, he made a comment again, finally I was like okay sweetie, I get it.  You think she is attractive.  He also made a comment last week when Gwen Stafani came on tv for something, about how he had used to have a crush on her.

Obviously, I look nothing like that,  His type seems to be tall, skinny, blondes.  I am 5'4, 150lbs, dark hair, dark complexion.  I have a seriously low self esteem to begin with, always have even when I wore a size 2.  This morning I was playing with the kids and something hit, I started to cry and beat myself up about being disgusting.  Granted I thought that before all this but it was like reinforced. 

How would you feel?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Replies (21-30):
Mommyandme878
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:16 AM
1 mom liked this

 Lol.. So maybe not ALL.. But at least 75%

Quoting svolkov:

 

not mine lol he likes dark features and curvy women. before he met me he dated mostly black or pacific islander/samoan women

Quoting Mommyandme878:

 Ok, first of all... ALL men have the taste for a tall, skinny, blonde. But like my DF tells me.. He is with YOU for a reason. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. You are you. And if he's with you then he loves you for that. Head up mama!

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Gwen Stefani makes me puke so i would hate for my husband to be attracted to her, but Julianne Hough is what I would consider perfect so it would be hard to be mad about that. She also wouldn't be that far off from me. Typical blond haired blue eyed girl.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:18 AM
1 mom liked this

 This plus all guys like things they know they can not have but he is with you for a reason


Quoting Mommyandme878:

 Ok, first of all... ALL men have the taste for a tall, skinny, blonde. But like my DF tells me.. He is with YOU for a reason. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. You are you. And if he's with you then he loves you for that. Head up mama!


 

AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:19 AM

my dh knows that i do not like to hear about how he finds others attactive.  that i find that just rude to say to a woman because you know women are always comparing themselves to unfair standards.     just tell your dh that you dont care that he finds her attractive and you dont want to hear that he finds anyone attractive except you.   if he says it - he is being cruel.    and he should be telling you that you look good much more than he is telling you that other people look good.    i am sure he didnt mean to be a dick.  but he is being a dick.  

Lovemyshadows
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:22 AM

Clearly they can't cook or they wouldn't be so thin. They have time to shower and put on makeup.  Those girls are so fake.  I might point that out.

SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:23 AM
I wouldve told him...
Yeah but you wouldnt be her type i sure. Look at what she can have out there

If your esteem is bad, you need to do something about it. When you feel good about yourself and know you have something going on, comments like his are nothing.

He may be doing it to twist you too and he knows it does. Sometimes it also a hint for the person they are saying it in front of. Doesnt mean he wants you to look like them, but to change something in you to be better. Some men dont know how to talk and hint on things that seem to make it sting more.
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Roo1234
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:26 AM

I have never focused on my appearance as a means to my self-worth.  I'm sorry.  I really don't get how you can hate yourself for things you can't change (like height).  I would much rather focus on what I can and have accomplished, what I bring to the world.  

I'm not gorgeous (I"ve never cared enough about my looks to fine tune myself to that point) , but In my younger days I was pretty and sought after by more than a few suitors. I wasn't any taller, my hair color was the same, I wasn't even overly thin most of the time. Guys that were more interested in my looks, my body, weren't worth the time of day even then.  I liked the guys who were smart, funny, and could hold a real conveation with me and could keep up with my passions.  

Rather than being angry and hurt by your husband's words, you need to take that energy and put it into something meaningful that will allow you to improve your self-esteem.  People have this mistaken idea that when you feel better about yourself then you self-esteem kicks in and makes everything all better.  The reality is that it is your actions that make your self-esteem.  Do things that are esteem worthy and you will feel stronger and more confident.  

SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:27 AM
They arent fake
They have a different lifestyle

They have more money to buy nicer clothes, go for a spa treatment, nails, hair, more vacations
Babysitters or nannies to watch their kids
Cleaning crew to clean thier homes
Or
room service for everything else
Its all real its just not your normal everyday life like joe schmo


Quoting Lovemyshadows:

Clearly they can't cook or they wouldn't be so thin. They have time to shower and put on makeup.  Those girls are so fake.  I might point that out.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:30 AM
How is being five four and one fifty letting herself go?


Quoting momsince04:

If you feel that bad about it, why not try to change it? It's your own fault for letting yourself go, so only you can fix it. Feeling sorry for yourself will not help anything. My husband talks about the Hirt woman on tv all the time, yes it gets annoying but it's not a big deal.

Matriarch87
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:31 AM
Sounds like the problem is in your head and not with him. It's very normal for opinions to be made on celebrities. My husband thinks Khloe Kardashian is a goddess. I wanna go back in time a fuck mark wahlberg circa boogie nights.
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