Are we overreacting? Kinda long *update*

[skyes_mama]

Back story- my 6 year old 1st grader- we moved her out of a class and into an new class this semester. The old class the kids were HORRIBLE, but we're just not on the same academic level as my DD, the teacher was crazy, and she just HATED going to school. So we made the choose to have her moved. The new class is WONDERFUL. She is writing again, begs to go to school, is just so much happier.

He has made comments about how her old teacher was a bad teacher bc all she did was yell and call them names. OK, it upset me but she is 6.

Well yesterday we get a stack of letters from her old class saying how much they miss her, no big deal, but they continue on to say how sorry they are for being mean to her, does she forgive them? Does she still like them, can she still be their friend.

WTH! Now she is upset that they think he doesn't like them and want to go and visit with all of them bc she is worried that they think she left them, and is now telling people she left the old class bc the kids were mean to her.

I am suppose to talk to the counceler today at 1. I spoke with DDs new teacher and she told me that all the classes are writing "friendly" letters to people. I feel like they are more shameful than friendly. It's been a month since DD left.

What would you do?


I spoke with a parent who has a child still in the class and her son told her that the teacher TOLD THEM that they were the reason my DD left the class. So they needed to think about how mean they are and that bc they were writing these letters they could write her about how sorry they were for being bad.

[momaof8]

homeschool

[Sassy762]

Go and talk to the counselor and  see what she says. The kids probably really do miss her. Doesn't she see them at lunch or recess???

[nurbabe82]

 I am not sure I would really do anything about. They are 6 and next year won't even be thinking about her moving to a different class. Maybe have her write a letter to the class just saying thank you for the nice letters, thank you for the apologies and all is good.

[anotherhalf]

I think they were probably told by the teacher to write the letters.  I would tell the counselor then ignore it.  If you make it a big deal, I think you're daughter will end up stressed.   FWIW - the counselor at my son's old school was useless and had stupid, ineffective ideas for dealing with issues.  I hope yours is better, but still follow your gut - if you think the counselor is off base, do what you think is right.

[Amybelle]

how  is apologising "shaming"?

[EvilAsh]

Keep her where she is if she's happy with it there. Tell her the kids shouldn't have been mean to begin with.

[Anonymous]

The children probably do not know or understand why she left the class and kids that age do tend to blame themselves for things not in their control. I'm sure no one did it to intentionally hurt your dds feelings. I would just have her write a letter back thanking them for their letters and telling them she still likes them and wants to be friends.

[skyes_mama]

I spoke with the counceler said that most were friendly, but she can see how some would be upsetting.

It just upsets me that the letters were given to DD. I could really have seen the old teacher telling the kids that they needed to say they were sorry and that it was their fault she left the class.

[skyes_mama]

We are sending her to private school next year

Quoting momaof8:

homeschool

[skyes_mama]

It's not, some of the letters asked if she forgave them for being mean to her. Will she still be their friends, she was their best friend and only friend and they were sorry for being mean.

Quoting Amybelle:

how  is apologising "shaming"?