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are you better

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Do you feel that you're better than women who are infertile, adopted or used fertility treatments because you got pregnant naturally?

I'm infertile and get bashed by my fertile friends for being an infertile stepmom
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:39 AM
Replies (31-40):
tossed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:49 PM

I had to go through fertility treatments. My now ex sil once told me "It is just mine and dh's opinion, but if your body can't produce a child without much difficulty, it means that God does not think you will be a good parent, and you should take the hint."  I eventually got pregnant when I was off treatment, but it was painful and rough for several years. Good luck and if they bash you, they are not really friends.

skittlefart
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:50 PM

No. I was told by a doctor (who was obviously wrong) that I was infertile. I got pregnant naturally like 3 months later...I wouldn't bash someone who had problems becoming pregnant because the fear and emotional pain I felt thinking that I wasn't going to be able to one day. 

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fairyjester
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:50 PM

I do not feel any better  than someone who can't/

though I am pretty sure you do not know what the word friend means

gavansmommy
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:50 PM

That thought has never crossed my mind.  What a horrible thing to say to someone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:51 PM

no altho I have 2 babies, I have had fertility issues. took me 7 years to conceive 1 baby. so I know the struggles and pain. I feel lucky that I was able to have the babies I did. but I don't feel like I am better or superior or anything. I just feel lucky and blessed and feel for women who have problems and can't have babies of their own naturally.

misskriss10
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:51 PM

No, I don't. It's awful that anyone would anyone would think like that. 

iwilliams76
by Irene on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:51 PM

I would never think that. That's horrible! I'm sorry you're having problems with fertility.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:51 PM

Well, I had trouble getting pregnant and staying pregnant and ended up with four kids after all that. I see both sides of it.

I don't think one woman is better than the other. What I do think is that to us infertile gals, we appreciate the capability to make a life more, while fertile chicks are complaining about getting pregnant--again--and talking about abortions like each kid is expendable.

From that standpoint, infertility has been a blessing in my life.

I think that makes us better moms, yes, even stepmoms.

Tinabee88
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:51 PM

Aww I'm an infertile stepmom too. My older sister has made extremely rude comments towards me and even became condescending saying I'm lucky I can't get pregnant. I cut off contact with her.

I've encountered smug women (usually those who were teen moms) that think they're better than me because they can get pregnant at the drop of a hat, but their lives are nothing to envy. Those with substance don't need people to envy them to feel better about their lives.

Keep company with those who uplift you and ignore negativity.

We're pursuing adoption (3+ years of TTC with fertility treatments under our belt) and once we're placed with a LO we'll start fertility treatments back up if we choose to.

Also remember infertility is so very common people just refuse to talk about it. 1 in 8 couples needs fertility treatments to conceive. Just because they eventually get pregnant doesn't mean someone didn't suffer with infertility.

MistyMoo
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:51 PM
I fail to see how that would make someone a better parent..
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