I've grown very close to BMs sister over the last year. I take care of her baby three days a week while she's a work. BMs dad comes over for dinner once a week and BMs mom we are in regular contact with. We have also gone on vacation with her dad.
This year we are planning our family summer trip with BMs sister and BMs dad. BM has been really shitty about this. Crying, bitching and what not. Oh SM is stealing my family blah blah blah. Or this is my family not hers.
I've been around for awhile. BM and I have no issues. I don't speak to her about the kids unless she approaches me. Whatever issues come up about the kids she calls my SO and he calls her back after we discuss. We go to school, family and sport functions and there is never drama. I hate drama. I don't like confrontation at all.
Is it crappy we are doing this?
A little more info. Before I came along, in the four years they were divorced, my SO went on vacation with her dad and the kids (not her),family gatherings such as Xmas and tgiving. BMs family took him in when he was young and first got together with BM. When I first came along I was disinvited to her mothers wedding after BM refused to be there if I was there (my SO didn't attend either). Her sister recently bought a house and had a housewarming party. BM didn't show up because I wasn't disinvited.