Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Wtf DH. Stop trying to control me.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Tonight we were both starving so we were going to stop and get something to eat. He asked "What do you want?" I told him where *I* wanted, which was literally RIGHT beside where we were anyway. He said "Hell no, we're not getting there. That place sucks." Keep in mind it was for *me.* Not him. Then he wanted me to pick between two other places, so slightly annoyed, I said "Pizza, I guess." because that was one of his options. This was after I told him I really didn't want pizza because 1. We have ate it too much for me. He wants it too much, and we just had it a week ago and 2. I have horrible constipation issues, and I really did not feel like dealing with all of that cheese and starch messing me up and causing gas to accumulate in my stomach, and not being able to use the bathroom. 

So he heard the annoyance in my voice and while AT THE WINDOW to order, he said well what do you want? I said "I already told you. Why are you asking me again. You asked me what I wanted. I told you. You told me no." He orders the pizza, then we run some errands. I try to eat it, but really. I need a break from it! It's just...ugh.. Greasy and not in the mood, so I just put it down, and said "I will just eat when we get home." He's like "Ohhh god." I say "Oh, no. Don't act like this was me. You asked me what I wanted then you decided FOR me." His excuse was "Well because I know it sucks." I said "YOU are not the one eating it. I am. Why does YOUR opinion matter on what I eat?" 

So he goes and drives to the other side of the city to ANOTHER place he thought I would want, and I am like "Why are you going here? You said earlier we weren't going over here because it's too far, and I don't want anything here." He just keeps on, and I said "No. I really don't want anything here. It's too far, and there's nothing I want." We go there, and I just get something anyway, and of course I am pissed off by them. I mean, why all of this unnecessary bull shit?! Why does he have to start shit, or try and dictate things for me? He complicated the whole night because he was more concerned over HIS OWN thoughts than MINE. Holy fuck, I am so annoyed. It's fucking food. Don't ASK me what I want just to tell me no then do all this shit. 

The sad thing is? We've been arguing about him doing things like this all last year! Wtf does he not get?!

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:58 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:47 AM
I would tell him to stfu & eat what I want..
Aleta775
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:48 AM

I agree with this. I wouldn't have backed down either. If he gave you choice then he needs to honor it, even it is something that he didn't like. If he was only going to give you two options to start with, then that is not really giving you a choice to have anything you want. Since you guys seemed to be all over town anyway, I don't see why you couldn't have gotten food from two different places. Me and my dh do that all the time. 


Quoting Anonymous:

That you don't stand your ground but complain over it. You told your dh what you wanted and you should have been adamant over it. Not okay, I'll try to eat this pizza, then you let him take you to another place you didn't want, and ordered food! Stand your ground or you will continue to be a door mat. You're his wife, not his child, remember that.

Quoting Anonymous:

What exactly is annoying about me in this situation? Just curious.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow! You both sound annoying as hell!




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:48 AM

I am usually very adamant and persistent. I guess I was just not in the mood to today. I was trying to hurry up so we could get the things done we needed done because it was already late. 

Quoting Anonymous:

That you don't stand your ground but complain over it. You told your dh what you wanted and you should have been adamant over it. Not okay, I'll try to eat this pizza, then you let him take you to another place you didn't want, and ordered food! Stand your ground or you will continue to be a door mat. You're his wife, not his child, remember that.

Quoting Anonymous:

What exactly is annoying about me in this situation? Just curious.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow! You both sound annoying as hell!



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:50 AM

That's what we do as well. He knew it was just for me, not him. The places were close by anyway. It wasn't the fact that we thought we could only pick one. It was him deciding I didn't need that place because to him it sucked and wasn't worth it...

Quoting Aleta775:

I agree with this. I wouldn't have backed down either. If he gave you choice then he needs to honor it, even it is something that he didn't like. If he was only going to give you two options to start with, then that is not really giving you a choice to have anything you want. Since you guys seemed to be all over town anyway, I don't see why you couldn't have gotten food from two different places. Me and my dh do that all the time. 


Quoting Anonymous:

That you don't stand your ground but complain over it. You told your dh what you wanted and you should have been adamant over it. Not okay, I'll try to eat this pizza, then you let him take you to another place you didn't want, and ordered food! Stand your ground or you will continue to be a door mat. You're his wife, not his child, remember that.

Quoting Anonymous:

What exactly is annoying about me in this situation? Just curious.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow! You both sound annoying as hell!





Aleta775
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:52 AM

Then I would have asked him, "Do I really get to pick what I want here or not because that is what you told me I could do? Is that suddenly not the case anymore?" Seriously, I would not have backed down on this at all. He gave you a choice and then took it away. Stop letting him do that. You eventually caved. 

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what we do as well. He knew it was just for me, not him. The places were close by anyway. It wasn't the fact that we thought we could only pick one. It was him deciding I didn't need that place because to him it sucked and wasn't worth it...

Quoting Aleta775:

I agree with this. I wouldn't have backed down either. If he gave you choice then he needs to honor it, even it is something that he didn't like. If he was only going to give you two options to start with, then that is not really giving you a choice to have anything you want. Since you guys seemed to be all over town anyway, I don't see why you couldn't have gotten food from two different places. Me and my dh do that all the time. 


Quoting Anonymous:

That you don't stand your ground but complain over it. You told your dh what you wanted and you should have been adamant over it. Not okay, I'll try to eat this pizza, then you let him take you to another place you didn't want, and ordered food! Stand your ground or you will continue to be a door mat. You're his wife, not his child, remember that.

Quoting Anonymous:

What exactly is annoying about me in this situation? Just curious.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow! You both sound annoying as hell!






Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:52 AM

Yeah, that would have been no problem. That wasn't the issue. He decided I didn't need it because he thought it sucked and wasn't worth it...for me. He could have had whatever he wanted. 

Quoting teal_phoenix:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Can you have subway and he have something else?



 

Uhh...7 years and "I want Subway" is pretty clear. I made it all very clear. He got the message very clearly. The problem is HE didn't feel it was a good place, so he decided FOR me that I wouldn't get it. I even told him my exact reasons why I didn't want pizza, like I have in this post. 

Quoting daughteroftruth:

you thought.. thats could be part of the problem.  What you say and how you say it, may not be the way he interprets it.  How long have you been married?

Quoting Anonymous:

I thought I was pretty clear in what I wanted and how I felt. *Shrug*

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. Communication is key.




 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:55 AM

(I'm not really going to do that. Well...If I just had money lying around I would). We are in our twenties. What's the problem? I thought the fight was stupid. I did not want the fight, nor do I think it should have been started. In my opinion, when he asked me what I wanted, and I gave him an answer, that should have been that, and we could have moved on with our night, but he seems to like complicating the most simple things he can think of.

Quoting Anonymous:

How old are you two????

Quoting Anonymous:

I really should do that! Lol. Just a few months ago, we both had an equal amount of spending money. He bought a $50 game with his. I found a purse I wanted and it was only $30. He actually argued with me because he thought it was stupid to "waste" money on a purse. Of course to him a purse seems like a trivial thing. He is not a woman. I don't think a $50 game is worth it, either, but the whole idea is we can spend it on whatever WE each want. It's just getting ridiculous. I'm going to go buy him all hot pink polo shirts, and super tight skinny jeans, and I will surprise him on a Monday morning RIGHT before work so he has no choice. Lol

Quoting Sanctimommy:

Choose his clothes for him. Tell him his old clothes suck (hide them in a good hiding spot) so you threw them away for him. Tell him he may choose new clothes from Anne Taylor or New York and Co. Then 'surprise' him with a trashy dress from Fredrick's of Hollywood. Act condescendingly when he whines about it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry if it's all over the place! I normally proof read, and correct everything. I didn't this time because I was in the moment. Lol. He didn't get pissed at me. He just turned it around on me like he had nothing to do with it.

Quoting Sanctimommy:

I'm revising your post for clarity:

"DH asked where I wanted to get take out this evening. I told him 'Restaurant A'. But he said he wouldn't get take out for me there because he doesn't like their food.  I ended up having to eat food that I did not want because DH thinks I ought to want it and thinks I shouldn't eat food he doesn't like. And he's pissed at me for not eating what he wanted me to eat."

Is that what happened?






teal_phoenix
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:57 AM

 Well, he doesn't know what is best for you since pizza makes your miserable. I am so sorry:(

He does sound controlling and over food, I really do not get it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, that would have been no problem. That wasn't the issue. He decided I didn't need it because he thought it sucked and wasn't worth it...for me. He could have had whatever he wanted. 

Quoting teal_phoenix:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Can you have subway and he have something else?



 

Uhh...7 years and "I want Subway" is pretty clear. I made it all very clear. He got the message very clearly. The problem is HE didn't feel it was a good place, so he decided FOR me that I wouldn't get it. I even told him my exact reasons why I didn't want pizza, like I have in this post. 

Quoting daughteroftruth:

you thought.. thats could be part of the problem.  What you say and how you say it, may not be the way he interprets it.  How long have you been married?

Quoting Anonymous:

I thought I was pretty clear in what I wanted and how I felt. *Shrug*

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. Communication is key.

 


 

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:00 AM

Yeah, I did kind of cave (although I wasn't trying to cave for him), but we were still arguing on the way home because I was pretty much telling him exactly this, and on a rant about everything. I wouldn't say he got off scott free. Lol. When he went to bed, I was still mad and giving him hell. I mean, just today I said I was going to go get a hair trim tomorrow. He said "No, we don't have the money for that." (and we do. He just doesn't want to spend it on hair is all). I looked right at him and said "I can do what I want, and I'm getting it trimmed." That's usually how I am toward him, 

Quoting Aleta775:

Then I would have asked him, "Do I really get to pick what I want here or not because that is what you told me I could do? Is that suddenly not the case anymore?" Seriously, I would not have backed down on this at all. He gave you a choice and then took it away. Stop letting him do that. You eventually caved. 

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what we do as well. He knew it was just for me, not him. The places were close by anyway. It wasn't the fact that we thought we could only pick one. It was him deciding I didn't need that place because to him it sucked and wasn't worth it...

Quoting Aleta775:

I agree with this. I wouldn't have backed down either. If he gave you choice then he needs to honor it, even it is something that he didn't like. If he was only going to give you two options to start with, then that is not really giving you a choice to have anything you want. Since you guys seemed to be all over town anyway, I don't see why you couldn't have gotten food from two different places. Me and my dh do that all the time. 


Quoting Anonymous:

That you don't stand your ground but complain over it. You told your dh what you wanted and you should have been adamant over it. Not okay, I'll try to eat this pizza, then you let him take you to another place you didn't want, and ordered food! Stand your ground or you will continue to be a door mat. You're his wife, not his child, remember that.

Quoting Anonymous:

What exactly is annoying about me in this situation? Just curious.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow! You both sound annoying as hell!







Purgatorian
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:00 AM
My SO and I had a similar fight earlier over what DVD to watch. He asked me what one I wanted to watch. I said the one I picked, and he threw a little fit.

Know what I did? Threw down the remote, stomped my foot, and yelled, " fine I don't want to watch a movie at all now!" Then gave him a look of how STUPID that kind of behavior really is.

He STFU and put my movie in.

Next time just comeback with something ridiculously childish and tell him that's what its likefor you when acts like a Bitch Baby.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)