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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

So...online (adult) chat rooms,

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Cheating or not?! I personally think it is a form of cheating. SO WHY HAVE I DONE IT?!! I'm still trying to figure out if I feel so guilty then why did I keep doing it?! I no longer go to adult chat rooms, since one guy in particular wanted to start talking just one on one. That was it for me, crossing the line. Random strangers to have naughty talks with was one thing, but just one on one regular conversations seem like an online affair. Have you ladies done this?
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:10 AM
Replies (21-25):
DonnaNoble
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 8:59 AM
revolutionhealth.com has active ones, though not of the 'adult' variety.


Quoting mysticalmalissa:

Where are there any chat rooms anymore?

Yahoo closed theirs up a couple weeks ago. :(


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Wait, so you never look at or talk to anyone but your SO? Or do you mean in a sexual manner?


Quoting Anonymous:

Cheating looking or saying anything to anyone other than a spouse or SO  is cheating in my book. Might not be in others but for me it is.

I have never done anything like that is Chat rooms CM is enough for me.


LetoLiebe
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:06 AM

I don't know your relationship dynamic or any of that, but there could be a communication/trust/intimacy issue here. If the porn bothered you, I dont' know if it's because he was watching it and you don't agree with that, or if it was because he was watching it with out you knowing or watching it with him or both, and what you enjoy and don't enjoy is your business. But, IMO, and it is only MO, in marriage it is bets to be trusting and open about what each one of you wants and enjoys in the bed room. If you start keeping things secret, then one or the other retaliates in secret, the breaking down of the relationship process begins unless it is addressed and fixed through reconnection, quickly. Try it out. Ask him what he really likes and wishes you guys could do together, ask if there has ever been any thing he's been afaid to share with you on that front. Not like you should feel like that means you should give what ever he wants, never if your not comfotable with it, but just being open to the discussion will bring you both much closer. Tell him you saw the porn, in a non accusitory or judgmental manner, and that you wondered why he was hiding form you, and that hurt you and then tell him about your chat room stuff. Don't be afraid to tell him what you really want romantically or sexually either. Going off in to your separate corners and avoiding the topic wont solve it the problem, coming together and honestly involving each other will.

Quoting Anonymous:

The thing that spurred me into looking was jealousy at porn i found on my husbands phone. I felt like i was "getting even" It was flattering at first then just horrifying and disgusting. I have learned a lesson and that is important.




Quoting LetoLiebe:

No, I go in and "chat room watch" some times, but I don't communicate with any one. Just like to see what's going on every once in while. My husband knows, we do all things related to sex or of an "adult" nature together. No secrets there. We both like to explore different things, but not necessarily act on every thing if that makes sense, like we don't hide any curiosities from each other, but we don't act on them either if it would effect our relationship in any negative way and when in those chat rooms it's more like people watching than anything else, then we move on and forget about it, no big deal. If you do it alone, and your husband doesn't know about it, and you can't seem to stop I would consider it a mild form of cheating. Maybe you feel neglected and don't realize it. Maybe your husband isn't flirting with you or flattering you enough, or maybe you feel sexually inhibited with him and not amongst anonymous strangers in a chat room and that pleases you. IDK, but maybe you could gently clue him in. Good luck  


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:07 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Wait, so you never look at or talk to anyone but your SO? Or do you mean in a sexual manner?


Quoting Anonymous:

Cheating looking or saying anything to anyone other than a spouse or SO  is cheating in my book. Might not be in others but for me it is.

I have never done anything like that is Chat rooms CM is enough for me.


Yes, sexual I would never do that to someone else.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:16 AM
The really hilarious thing is we have REALLY REALLY good sex. I knew about the stuff on the phone but had a moment of resentment and insecurity. We've been together nearly 20 years. All of this has been an awakening for me. I told him how i feel about the pics compared to how i look now two babies later and have come to an agreement, that works well for us.


Quoting LetoLiebe:

I don't know your relationship dynamic or any of that, but there could be a communication/trust/intimacy issue here. If the porn bothered you, I dont' know if it's because he was watching it and you don't agree with that, or if it was because he was watching it with out you knowing or watching it with him or both, and what you enjoy and don't enjoy is your business. But, IMO, and it is only MO, in marriage it is bets to be trusting and open about what each one of you wants and enjoys in the bed room. If you start keeping things secret, then one or the other retaliates in secret, the breaking down of the relationship process begins unless it is addressed and fixed through reconnection, quickly. Try it out. Ask him what he really likes and wishes you guys could do together, ask if there has ever been any thing he's been afaid to share with you on that front. Not like you should feel like that means you should give what ever he wants, never if your not comfotable with it, but just being open to the discussion will bring you both much closer. Tell him you saw the porn, in a non accusitory or judgmental manner, and that you wondered why he was hiding form you, and that hurt you and then tell him about your chat room stuff. Don't be afraid to tell him what you really want romantically or sexually either. Going off in to your separate corners and avoiding the topic wont solve it the problem, coming together and honestly involving each other will.


Quoting Anonymous:

The thing that spurred me into looking was jealousy at porn i found on my husbands phone. I felt like i was "getting even" It was flattering at first then just horrifying and disgusting. I have learned a lesson and that is important.





Quoting LetoLiebe:


No, I go in and "chat room watch" some times, but I don't communicate with any one. Just like to see what's going on every once in while. My husband knows, we do all things related to sex or of an "adult" nature together. No secrets there. We both like to explore different things, but not necessarily act on every thing if that makes sense, like we don't hide any curiosities from each other, but we don't act on them either if it would effect our relationship in any negative way and when in those chat rooms it's more like people watching than anything else, then we move on and forget about it, no big deal. If you do it alone, and your husband doesn't know about it, and you can't seem to stop I would consider it a mild form of cheating. Maybe you feel neglected and don't realize it. Maybe your husband isn't flirting with you or flattering you enough, or maybe you feel sexually inhibited with him and not amongst anonymous strangers in a chat room and that pleases you. IDK, but maybe you could gently clue him in. Good luck  



 


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