Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

should i let his family be involved even though he doesnt want to be?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Ds is 3 weeks old my stbxh wants NOTHING to do with him...he hasnt seen him and doesnt want to either.his sister sent me a facebook message last night saying her and the rest of the family really want to see him and spend time with him and they know im breastfeeding so they would love it if we would both come over for dinner or something so we can talk and they can meet not sure how i feel about this and im not sure what to do.i know my stbxh didnt even want them to know about ds but we saw his sister in walmart and he looks just like his dad and when she asked if he was stbxh i told her the truth.he left when i was 3 months pregnant(HE cheated)and we hadnt told anyone yet.i love his family but i dont want ds involved in drama and i feel his dad will start a ton if i let them see him...advice please
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Replies (21-30):
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:34 PM
If his family wants the little dude in their life.. Fuck your douche bag ex. My xmil has more contact with her grand kids than their own dad does. No point keeping family away from family if they want to be involved.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:36 PM
I say yeah. Just because he's an ass doesn't mean they are. I know if my brother did that my mother would be very upset to never meet her grandchild.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:36 PM
ive always been friendly and loved his family i just didnt want things to be awkward after we split so i just stayed away and didnt talk to them much

Quoting Jentily:

your son has every right to know who  his family is. I think you should be happy that his family wants to be involved, not everyone gets that chance. 

Your son has an Aunt that wants him in her life. That is awesome! Get along with them and become "friendly" ... when your son gets older he will see the truth.

Congrats I think it's great .. and when your boy is older, you will have babysitters ;)

by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:36 PM

have them come to your house.  One at a time.   Dont put yourself in a group with them, they could team up against you and that is not what you need.   I would also only allow those that reach out to you to see him.  So like the aunt that asked would be welcome but the grandma not welcome because she did not ask you.  Does that make sense?   Dont let one person speak for them all,  if they all really want to see him then let it be done on your terms not thiers.

by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:36 PM

I'd allow it.

My son's dad isn't around but I allow his parents to see my son and have added some of his family members that don't live here in the city to my FB so they can see pics and such.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree. Let the family be involved. If they care and they love him, it can do your DS a world of good. Remember that some things they do might not be exactly the way you would do it, but ask yourself if it is important or just a preference before you say anything about it.

I got divorced and my xdh got himself a new family and didn't have time for my children. His parents saw the kids a lot. The LOs would go spend the night at his grandmothers house and come back spoiled rotten. LOL. Having people around that care will give you and DS the strength to do anything.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:36 PM
The family didn't cheat. They aren't guilty of anything and I think it's great they are grown enough to realize there's a child involved, which makes you and your ex's issues are irrelevant.

The child deserves to know his family, & be accepted by them.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:38 PM


Quoting JLS2388:

I would say let them be involved on your terms, do what you feel comforatble with doing but I wouldn't let them be alone with him

 I agree with this, I wouldn't leave the baby with them to visit, I would allow them over to my house or to their's as long as you are welcome to stay.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:39 PM

If you feel comfortable doing so, and they aren't unstable.

by Emerald Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:39 PM

 yes I would let them be involved. Go over there and see how it goes. If it goes good than go from there :)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)