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should i let his family be involved even though he doesnt want to be?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Ds is 3 weeks old my stbxh wants NOTHING to do with him...he hasnt seen him and doesnt want to either.his sister sent me a facebook message last night saying her and the rest of the family really want to see him and spend time with him and they know im breastfeeding so they would love it if we would both come over for dinner or something so we can talk and they can meet not sure how i feel about this and im not sure what to do.i know my stbxh didnt even want them to know about ds but we saw his sister in walmart and he looks just like his dad and when she asked if he was stbxh i told her the truth.he left when i was 3 months pregnant(HE cheated)and we hadnt told anyone yet.i love his family but i dont want ds involved in drama and i feel his dad will start a ton if i let them see him...advice please
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Replies (41-49):
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:54 PM
Yes of course you should go and let them have a relationship with them! What kind of question is this?
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by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:57 PM

I'd definitely let then be involved.  Be the better person, don't let him get to you.  In fact, if I wasn't ignoring him I'd be super cordial to him.  Let him know you're mature and can move forward.  You could also invite them to your place instead, that way you can avoid him altogether.  Not every time of course, but as often as you can as far as your schedule allows.

by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:57 PM
My mom gave my dad's parents his visitation rights. The two weekends a month that I was supposed to spend with my dad I spent with my grandparents. I am very close to them and their house is my sanctuary. I would def let them be involved. Your ds deserves to know that side of his family despite how his father acts. Good luck!
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by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:00 PM

I would at least go over once and see how they were,  if they are assholes and create drama you can always leave and never go back.  But if they are good people then they should get to see the baby,  the baby deserves to have as much family loving him as possible!

by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:00 PM
You should let them be involved. I was in the same boat as you with my dd. Her sperm donor didn't want to see her but his family did. I still keep in touch with them all the time. And trying to find a time to meet up with them again. They send her presents every birthday Christmas and holidays in between. Also they even send my son who is my DHs presents too. So glad i kept them involved cause they are just amazing people.
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by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:03 PM

I say do it. even if they decide to drop off the face of the earth later. but don't go to their home, go somewhere public. you have the most control + they have to be on their best behaviour

by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:04 PM
I agree. Nor is it the baby's fault.

Quoting karisma22:

You shouldn't keep his family from seeing your son just because your ex is an ass and doesn't want to be involved.  It's not their fault that he doesn't want to be involved.

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by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:06 PM

They're not just your ex's family, they're your also your son's family. I think you should go see them :) At least he will have them to love him, even if his father is a jackass.

by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this

My little brother and his wife split up Thanksgiving of 2011. She left him and took the boys then 2 and 3 because her family doesn't like my brother. 

I have been missing my nephews so freaking much it has become unbearable, and She was my best friend, and I missed her too. But She stopped talking to me too. 

I would send her FB msgs and they all went unanswered, and so did all my phone calls. I was very sad.

2 weeks ago I sent a msg asking for pics of the boys so I could see how much they have grown and she responded. A few days later She accepted the friend request I sent last year, and we have been talking again. She is even going to come over next Saturday.

I am ecstatic. Even though She and my bro are no longer together, those babies are still my blood, and i love them like they were my own. I would continue to be heart broken if She wouldn't let me back in their lives.

So please, just give the family a chance. They too are still your son's blood, and i'm sure would love him to pieces as well!

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