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Now that my kids don't need anyone at home, I don't think my DH needs to stay home ADDED, seconded addtion with POLL

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: What do you think? BTW there really is no "happy medium" like him going to work only during the day. He is an RN (registered nurse) and therefore his shifts would be 12 hours long.

Options:

DH should go back to work

DH should stay home and our family should just cut back so that he can stay home with 2 kids who are in school and only live here half the time


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 809

View Results

We are a blended family, I have full custody of my 4 kids and DH has 50/50 of his 2 kids. When we married 4 years ago, we decided that since I make about $90,000 a year and DH would make about $36,000 it would make sense for him to stay at home. My kids were 11, 9, 7 and 6, his were 6 and 3 and we needed to have someone home full time. But now my kids are 15, 13, 11 and 10 and don't need anyone home with them. As long as one of the two older kids are home, which one is always home right after school, they younger two are fine and quit frankly, we could use the extra income with 6 kids between us.

His ex is a SAHM (her DH works) and could easily have their kids full time with him getting standard visitation of every other weekend and one evening a week.

I spoke with him about this and he went ape shit on me about it. He said that it's not fair that now that only his kids need someone home, I am not ok with him staying at home. Well there is an alternative, when all the kids needed someone, there wasn't someone who could keep all of them while we worked. I don't get to stay home with my kids, I have worked full time since mine were little and for the past 4 years, to support this family, including his children. I just feel like he is being very selfish to expect to get to stay home. His kids don't need 2 stay at home parents, they just don't.

ADDED

For those who say this isn't fair to him, this arrangement was made when there was no other option, when we had 6 kids between the two of us that all needed someone at home. That is no longer the case, his kids can go to their mom's and my kids are fine at home. IMO he can't complain because at least he got to do this for the past 4 years, I was never afforded the opportunity because he simply didn't make enough to support us on his own. It's not fair that I work my ass off while he stays at home and there is no need for him to, his kids do not need BOTH of their parents to be stay at home parents, they just don't.

I am really surprised just how many responses I have gotten. For those who say he needs to stay at home and that it's "only fair" please explain to me why his 2 kids NEED both of their parents to be stay at home parents but that my 4 kids don't need their ONE bio parent at home (that is assuming that we all agree that someone in the household needs to make money). Also, why should our whole family make cutbacks so that DH can stay at home for 2 kids who are in school and only live here half the time anyway?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 7:47 PM
Replies (991-997):
Ihold8Stars
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:15 AM
WTF is it a 3 way?

Stop talking about what his EX WIFE does..

She's not your concern!

The kids have 1 parent home in YOUR house..

No wonder the ex wife would most certainly go for primary custody..

1. She knows what a Bitch her ex married!

2. She doesn't want any thing that you've spawned to babysit her children!

Unlike you she's a mother!

Your no better then a cow! You have to be the most selfish hard headed self center Ass I've ever seen on CM!

P:S stop talking to yourself OP.. You screwed up a few times in thread responded to yourself but in the wrong order as ANON

lmao your pathetic! Did you sign in random to vote to???

No wonder almost every single for your side view is posted is ANON!


Quoting Anonymous:

It does matter because she could be home with them, they don't need both parents at home. How much time he gets when he goes back to work is up to the judge, I do think that if dad has been around since the child was born (as DH has) he should he equal time but not all judges see it that way, especially when the dad works and the mom can stay at home. Now, if his ex worked too, that would be a different story and I would probably be ok with him staying home longer but in that case, he would probably have primary time with them and would get child support. I never said his kids aren't as special I am saying that they don't need 2 parents to be stay at home parents, our family needs more income.



Quoting mamoore83:

Wow it doesn't matter what your step kids mom does he's the dad. I am very for father rights and think dads should have the kids as long as mom does too. So you'd be ok if she was a working mom or would you still think that he needs to do to work and ship his kids off to her? Yeah if I was your dh I'd be pissed when you said that his kids aren't as special as yours are too.





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saraface5383
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:20 AM
Im sure this has been asked, but, are you struggling financially?
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Ihold8Stars
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:44 AM
In the 80's pages I believe she broke down her BS expenses...

She makes over 90,000 a year- 4 kids and 2 part time kids.

She claims to be putting $1,000 a MONTH in her retirement...

And her family medical is kinda high for a job that pays that much usually medical options are better.

I have 8 kids and make 10,000 more- I have kids in sports dance martial arts- they all have college funds. We pay higher mortgage then what she's claiming.. Our expenses are much higher and since were small business owners we pay Tax we don't see refunds..

I tried being nice.. I tried seeing if she had some real problem but honestly her DH looks like a saint and she's the damn devil..

Just read her many replies...

She's even posted then posted again under Anon answering herself not realizing she posted under a different account lol


Quoting saraface5383:

Im sure this has been asked, but, are you struggling financially?

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:30 PM
2 moms liked this

Seriously, if you can't survive off of $90,000 then you need to cut back on some things. That's insane if you can't budget 90G's a year.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:35 AM

I have been told by many parents that kids need their parents more in their teenage years.  If he is good to your kids then let him stay.  Nurses can work part time, probably just not at the hospitals which do the long shifts.  As teenagers kids need run around to activities and sporting events etc, you dont want them to miss out.

Des10ed2b
by Gold Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:40 AM

he does not HAVE to have 12 hour shifts. that is only if he works in a hospital. He could work at a doc office, walk-in clinic, out-patient surgery center, be a school nurse, etc. there are lots of options. 

i am going to school for nursing right now and plan on going to RN and i only plan to work in a dr. office or in out-patient surgery for i have more regular hours.

SAHMof2kiddos
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:59 PM
Well honestly I think with that many kids a parent should be available, I don't think it should be the older kids responsibility to watch the younger ones.

Also 90k a year should be plenty even with that many kids, do you live in a really high cost of living area?
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