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I wish a meteor would take out my mother

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we argue about everything. The fact that she manipulates everybody she comes into contact with, the fact that she can't admit she beat my ass until I was old enough to leave, even though a judge and two prosecuters tried explaining it is in fact illegal to beat someone in your driveway, and that pictures and medical evidence don't lie, she begs to differ. She likes to tell me all the things I do wrong as a mother and even went so far as to draw up adoption papers so that she could take dd and I could "go fuck up my life and leave dd out of it". BTW my life she's so critical of? I'm 24, I have a 3 bedroom house, in the same suburb she lives in, I have a car, a full time job, a man who loves us and takes care of us, a smart and fully healthy daughter who wants for nothing, I have no criminal record and my only addictions are 3 smokes a day and monsters. Her favorite game is to start a fight via text, erase the things she says to start it, and then show people when I finally tell her off, then she promptly calls my grandmother, who I'm very close with, and tells her how awful I am to her and all this other garbage. It's ridiculous.

Our newest argument? Why my dd can't go to her house.

I am just done with the drama it brings. Despite my dismal relationship with her I've let her see my daughter. I would drop her off (because we cannot be in the same building without some sort of nit picking at my life and how I live it) and she would come home and act funny, like just general acting out, not listening, what have you. It came out that because my mom decided one day she doesn't like my dh (and yes it happened like that, she loved him until he answered my phone and she started screaming into it thinking it was me, and he told her she needed to calm down and stop acting like a child, since then, hates him) anyway, she doesn't like him, so dd shouldn't like him. Shed tell dd she didn't have to listen to him, teach her all kinds of nasty little things to say, it was awful. I cut their time together right then but through the guilt of my other family members, I gradually let her back over, but only if my dad was there. Then dd comes home one day and dh asked how her visit was, what did they talk about, what did they do, etc. "Nona(my mom) wants to know why daddy doesn't work and if daddy hits mommy" Wtf! He has a perfectly good job as a parts counterman and he has never laid a hand on me. There was NO reason for that to be in my 4 year olds head. Had an argument with my mother about how that was totally unacceptable and it resulted in nobody speaking and Christmas, Halloween, thanksgiving and new years being spent totally seperate. I even got a formal phone call from my dad saying I was not invited to the house for Christmas because if I came mom would make everyone miserable. Great.

Fast forward to today. Out of no where, an impromptu, 6 text convo happened.

Mom "We want to see Ang. Is tomorrow good?"
Me "no thank you"
Mom " well when is good"
Me "not ever"
Mom" why are you doing this to her? She hasn't done anything and we've left you alone just like you wish"
(I hate that about my mom, like you wish, like I just decided one day that I didn't want her having any influence over my daughter)
Me "you mean why am I doing this to you, you're the only one I want leaving us alone. dad, (my brother and sister), all know where I live, but you forbid them all from contact and dad won't disobey because its just easier than dealing with you"

I have no doubt she has already called my grandmother to tell her all about how awful I'm being.

Fuck her.
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by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Replies (11-20):
goodmama85
by Diamond Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:14 PM
This.

Quoting Anonymous:

You gotta cut all ties with that crazy bat,  it kind of sucks you can't see the rest of your family but that toxic shit is going to mess up your child if your mom continues that bs!

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Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Lmao I completely agree
My grandmother goes "why don't you let her see your dd, every child needs a grandma"
I responded with "what does she need a grandma for when she has an awesome great grandmother"




Quoting teeloffel:

Just cut off communication. Grandparents do NOT have rights. Being a grandparent is a PRIVILEGE. 


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TexanMomOf6
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:15 PM

Toxic relationship. Do not answer her via any form of communication. That feeds her need to look innocent.  Do not let her turn your child against you. It is a continuing risk to her mental health. Your mother may decide your DD needs to be beat like you were. Why send your child into a situation like that?

Would you let a stranger treat you and yours like that? Why would you accept abuse from mom?

Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:17 PM
I used to wish for a heart attack.
3 years ago I got my wish, she had an emergency quintuple bipass.
Not only did she survive but she managed to muster up the energy to cuss me out, while on oxygen, clutching a pillow to her chest.
Now I'm wishing for the meteor.


Quoting RLT2:

That's silly. Don't wish for a meteor, how likely is that? Wish for a Bus, much more common.


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Mocking.Jay
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:18 PM

I just read your title, and I laughed lmfao.

Bird16_J
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:18 PM

Ah OK I understand that a bit better. But still it's sad that he wouldn't step in to help you. If I were to EVER do that to my children (and I NEVER EVER in a MILLION YEARS would!!!) my husband would step in and protect them and they're not his. Just makes me sad that he wouldn't help you :( How much longer until the others are out of school?

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

This is my dad in a nutshell. hes the quiet guy, who doesn't like confrontation, works hard, is friendly with everybody and stays out of trouble.
He adopted me when I was 7. He was a much better choice than bio dad. But I think because we aren't blood he's always just stood to the side and let my mom handle me, for fear of stepping on toes. My half siblings have a completely different type of relationship with my mother. My sister remembers my mom throwing me into doors and kicking me in the ribs, so she knows I'm not crazy, but my brother was too little by the time I moved out so he is completely brainwashed into thinking I've made this all up. My dad just wants his family I.e. his kids to get through school, and then he plans to divorce her. After seeing the toll divorce took on me he's in no rush to do it to them.


Quoting Bird16_J:

I'm so sorry momma! She's definitely toxic!!! Keep your poor daughter away from that cunt and she keep her cut from your life! Seriously if my spouse beat my child like that I would've divorced them in a heart beat! Sad your dad stays with a child abuser!!! Just block her completely from your life and call it good! I've done that with my oldest sister and life has been WONDERFUL and drama free! I LOVE it! Good luck and just stay strong!




KrissyKC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:19 PM
2 moms liked this

*hugs*

I'm sorry.   My mother wasn't good to us growing up either... she was emotionally abusive and somewhat physically abusive.   She also doesn't remember things happening that way and remembers me as being this awful child that she had to deal with.

Anyway, long story short, we don't speak to them anymore.   Last time I saw them, I was pregnant with my third.   I have a fourth now that they don't know exists.

Cut off completely... I'm sorry that means that your Dad and others choose to stay on her side of the cut off, but that's their choice.

Stop answering texts, if she does stop by ignore the door, if she doesn't leave, don't say a word, just call the cops to come remove her., etc...


TarantulaTress
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I was going to say train, but a bus will work.

OP, wash your hands clean of her. If she can't behave around your dd, than your dd doesn't need to be around her.


Quoting RLT2:

That's silly. Don't wish for a meteor, how likely is that? Wish for a Bus, much more common.


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Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:25 PM
Oh I know. We all know. My dads been talking about divorce for years. He is waiting for my siblings to get through school because he doesn't want to put them through that. And because she treats them completely different, there's no major rush. He just spends a lot of time avoiding her.
The domestic violence advocates told her flat out what they thought of her, a judge gave her mandatory anger management, which did nothing but piss her off, her best friends don't speak to her anymore because she is "crazy and incapable of being wrong or out of control". We went to therapy once, well I went to therapy, and the psych wanted to talk to her. She told my mother all my feelings of anxiety and depression, at age 12 mind you, were because of her. My mom told the shrink she was crazy, clearly she had a bullshit degree, we walked out, and I never went back to therapy. When I was 5 I wasn't invited to my friends birthday party, we were having a little girl fight and she didn't want me there, and instead of it becoming a teachable moment, she called the girls mother and threatened her.

I could go on and on.


Quoting opal10161973:

She's a classic Nacissitc bully.  Look it up.  She fits it so perfectly, it's astonishing.  I mean, it really is.  O.O


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Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:26 PM
I am honestly doing the best I can lol I've made it 4 months until this mini text convo. My daughter hasn't seen her since October.


Quoting TarantulaTress:

I was going to say train, but a bus will work.



OP, wash your hands clean of her. If she can't behave around your dd, than your dd doesn't need to be around her.




Quoting RLT2:

That's silly. Don't wish for a meteor, how likely is that? Wish for a Bus, much more common.



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