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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I wish a meteor would take out my mother

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we argue about everything. The fact that she manipulates everybody she comes into contact with, the fact that she can't admit she beat my ass until I was old enough to leave, even though a judge and two prosecuters tried explaining it is in fact illegal to beat someone in your driveway, and that pictures and medical evidence don't lie, she begs to differ. She likes to tell me all the things I do wrong as a mother and even went so far as to draw up adoption papers so that she could take dd and I could "go fuck up my life and leave dd out of it". BTW my life she's so critical of? I'm 24, I have a 3 bedroom house, in the same suburb she lives in, I have a car, a full time job, a man who loves us and takes care of us, a smart and fully healthy daughter who wants for nothing, I have no criminal record and my only addictions are 3 smokes a day and monsters. Her favorite game is to start a fight via text, erase the things she says to start it, and then show people when I finally tell her off, then she promptly calls my grandmother, who I'm very close with, and tells her how awful I am to her and all this other garbage. It's ridiculous.

Our newest argument? Why my dd can't go to her house.

I am just done with the drama it brings. Despite my dismal relationship with her I've let her see my daughter. I would drop her off (because we cannot be in the same building without some sort of nit picking at my life and how I live it) and she would come home and act funny, like just general acting out, not listening, what have you. It came out that because my mom decided one day she doesn't like my dh (and yes it happened like that, she loved him until he answered my phone and she started screaming into it thinking it was me, and he told her she needed to calm down and stop acting like a child, since then, hates him) anyway, she doesn't like him, so dd shouldn't like him. Shed tell dd she didn't have to listen to him, teach her all kinds of nasty little things to say, it was awful. I cut their time together right then but through the guilt of my other family members, I gradually let her back over, but only if my dad was there. Then dd comes home one day and dh asked how her visit was, what did they talk about, what did they do, etc. "Nona(my mom) wants to know why daddy doesn't work and if daddy hits mommy" Wtf! He has a perfectly good job as a parts counterman and he has never laid a hand on me. There was NO reason for that to be in my 4 year olds head. Had an argument with my mother about how that was totally unacceptable and it resulted in nobody speaking and Christmas, Halloween, thanksgiving and new years being spent totally seperate. I even got a formal phone call from my dad saying I was not invited to the house for Christmas because if I came mom would make everyone miserable. Great.

Fast forward to today. Out of no where, an impromptu, 6 text convo happened.

Mom "We want to see Ang. Is tomorrow good?"
Me "no thank you"
Mom " well when is good"
Me "not ever"
Mom" why are you doing this to her? She hasn't done anything and we've left you alone just like you wish"
(I hate that about my mom, like you wish, like I just decided one day that I didn't want her having any influence over my daughter)
Me "you mean why am I doing this to you, you're the only one I want leaving us alone. dad, (my brother and sister), all know where I live, but you forbid them all from contact and dad won't disobey because its just easier than dealing with you"

I have no doubt she has already called my grandmother to tell her all about how awful I'm being.

Fuck her.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Replies (31-40):
Lizard_Lina
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:34 PM
Lmfao she's already had a restraining order. The moment that thing expired she was back at it. She's much more careful now.


Quoting CotterpinDoozer:

Cut your mother out completely, no good comes from dealing with her, don't put yourself or you family through it. Just cut all contact, do whatever you have to do to make her understand that she is not and will not be welcome in your home or around your family. I have a friend who had a mother like this. She ended up having to get a restraining order to keep her away. I hope it doesn't come to that with you. I really do urge you not to reconcile with her at all though.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
svolkov
by Emerald Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:34 PM
Im totally not offended. I just wish shed stay around to drive me crazy and piss me off lol


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I'm sorry. This wasn't to offend anyone.




Quoting svolkov:

Sorry she sucks but my mom IS dying. So .....


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Lizard_Lina
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:34 PM
Man oh man if jimminy cricket would just pay me a visit....


Quoting ColtsFan1912:

*crosses fingers*  When you wish upon a star. . .;)

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

Omg you mean there's hope!?!?!





Quoting ColtsFan1912:

Well there is an asteroid about to whiz by earth soon so. . .there's always that.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
christinad612
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:35 PM
3 moms liked this
Id get a.free consult with an attorney to be sure but in most states grandparents have no legal rights to grandchildren. Write her a postmarked letter send one copy to her and one to the courthouse saying she's not welcome on your property,.that's the only way its legal other than saying it.directly.in front of a police officer (been there done that). Change your phone number after that and worry about.your family. If she comes.to.your property you can then.have her charged if you wish. Or at least.call and ask.that an officer show up and tell her she has to leave. But no way would I allow her around my daughter. Its not.about.her its about what's good for.your kid. Period. Keep records of everything that happens. Good luck.
christinad612
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:37 PM
Quoting Lizard_Lina:



Then talking to the police tell them that along with an attorney and you should be able to.get something more permanent
Destiny907
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:08 PM

My heart goes out to you.   You are doing SO WELL, really- in spite of her.

She IS mentally sick! Just keep that in mind.  You are not at fault, she is and probably would never admit it that she needs help.  SO sad!!

Hang in there. Keep her at arm's length if you have to, to stay safe and sane.

Lizard_Lina
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:20 PM
Thank you. I mean, I'm not a perfect person, but I have everything I need, as does my daughter, and I'm doing my best to overcome the psychological damage so this doesn't become a cycle.
She will never admit she's wrong. I've never even heard her say I'm sorry. To anyone. Certainly not my dad or I. She argued with the judge who told her she needed counceling, insisting that I made up the marks on my head from her nails and the concrete driveway and that I was deluaional. The problem with that was the three neighbors and a school bus full of children that stopped to let kids out right in front of my house. It was no longer her word against mine but her word against like 35 others. To this day of you bring it up it never happened or it was justifiable. I just miss my dad and my sister


Quoting Destiny907:

My heart goes out to you.   You are doing SO WELL, really- in spite of her.

She IS mentally sick! Just keep that in mind.  You are not at fault, she is and probably would never admit it that she needs help.  SO sad!!

Hang in there. Keep her at arm's length if you have to, to stay safe and sane.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Lizard_Lina
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:22 PM
I have an attorney. He told her she had to knock her shit off. Her attorney advised her to listen. It's to the point where I don't even have to call my attorney I just call hers and he explains to her all the legal issues she could face.


Quoting christinad612:

Id get a.free consult with an attorney to be sure but in most states grandparents have no legal rights to grandchildren. Write her a postmarked letter send one copy to her and one to the courthouse saying she's not welcome on your property,.that's the only way its legal other than saying it.directly.in front of a police officer (been there done that). Change your phone number after that and worry about.your family. If she comes.to.your property you can then.have her charged if you wish. Or at least.call and ask.that an officer show up and tell her she has to leave. But no way would I allow her around my daughter. Its not.about.her its about what's good for.your kid. Period. Keep records of everything that happens. Good luck.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jkleinman
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:31 PM
Yikes! Cut her off and change your number.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
christinad612
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:34 PM


In this case, and I know it's hard because it's your mom, I'd take further legal action. You're definitely within your rights to do so. I've had to call the police on my dad more than once and refuse to take my daughter to see them. It sucks for my mom because she's done nothing wrong but I can't have my daughter around my dad's shit- but it's easier for me because I live 60 miles away. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but it's time to do whatever you have to in order to protect your family. If she cannot respect legal boundaries, that sounds almost more like a stalker and needs to be dealt with. Private message me anytime you need to vent or anything, I have been there and know how hard it is.

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I have an attorney. He told her she had to knock her shit off. Her attorney advised her to listen. It's to the point where I don't even have to call my attorney I just call hers and he explains to her all the legal issues she could face.



Quoting christinad612:

Id get a.free consult with an attorney to be sure but in most states grandparents have no legal rights to grandchildren. Write her a postmarked letter send one copy to her and one to the courthouse saying she's not welcome on your property,.that's the only way its legal other than saying it.directly.in front of a police officer (been there done that). Change your phone number after that and worry about.your family. If she comes.to.your property you can then.have her charged if you wish. Or at least.call and ask.that an officer show up and tell her she has to leave. But no way would I allow her around my daughter. Its not.about.her its about what's good for.your kid. Period. Keep records of everything that happens. Good luck.



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