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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I wish a meteor would take out my mother

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we argue about everything. The fact that she manipulates everybody she comes into contact with, the fact that she can't admit she beat my ass until I was old enough to leave, even though a judge and two prosecuters tried explaining it is in fact illegal to beat someone in your driveway, and that pictures and medical evidence don't lie, she begs to differ. She likes to tell me all the things I do wrong as a mother and even went so far as to draw up adoption papers so that she could take dd and I could "go fuck up my life and leave dd out of it". BTW my life she's so critical of? I'm 24, I have a 3 bedroom house, in the same suburb she lives in, I have a car, a full time job, a man who loves us and takes care of us, a smart and fully healthy daughter who wants for nothing, I have no criminal record and my only addictions are 3 smokes a day and monsters. Her favorite game is to start a fight via text, erase the things she says to start it, and then show people when I finally tell her off, then she promptly calls my grandmother, who I'm very close with, and tells her how awful I am to her and all this other garbage. It's ridiculous.

Our newest argument? Why my dd can't go to her house.

I am just done with the drama it brings. Despite my dismal relationship with her I've let her see my daughter. I would drop her off (because we cannot be in the same building without some sort of nit picking at my life and how I live it) and she would come home and act funny, like just general acting out, not listening, what have you. It came out that because my mom decided one day she doesn't like my dh (and yes it happened like that, she loved him until he answered my phone and she started screaming into it thinking it was me, and he told her she needed to calm down and stop acting like a child, since then, hates him) anyway, she doesn't like him, so dd shouldn't like him. Shed tell dd she didn't have to listen to him, teach her all kinds of nasty little things to say, it was awful. I cut their time together right then but through the guilt of my other family members, I gradually let her back over, but only if my dad was there. Then dd comes home one day and dh asked how her visit was, what did they talk about, what did they do, etc. "Nona(my mom) wants to know why daddy doesn't work and if daddy hits mommy" Wtf! He has a perfectly good job as a parts counterman and he has never laid a hand on me. There was NO reason for that to be in my 4 year olds head. Had an argument with my mother about how that was totally unacceptable and it resulted in nobody speaking and Christmas, Halloween, thanksgiving and new years being spent totally seperate. I even got a formal phone call from my dad saying I was not invited to the house for Christmas because if I came mom would make everyone miserable. Great.

Fast forward to today. Out of no where, an impromptu, 6 text convo happened.

Mom "We want to see Ang. Is tomorrow good?"
Me "no thank you"
Mom " well when is good"
Me "not ever"
Mom" why are you doing this to her? She hasn't done anything and we've left you alone just like you wish"
(I hate that about my mom, like you wish, like I just decided one day that I didn't want her having any influence over my daughter)
Me "you mean why am I doing this to you, you're the only one I want leaving us alone. dad, (my brother and sister), all know where I live, but you forbid them all from contact and dad won't disobey because its just easier than dealing with you"

I have no doubt she has already called my grandmother to tell her all about how awful I'm being.

Fuck her.
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by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Replies (41-50):
xoch86
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:34 PM

That conversation would have end at her sob story.dont respond to that. Don't acknowledge it. Just ignore. She WANTS you to be the bad person, don't give Hera reason to make u the bad person. Simply reply with, "we just  need some space", and just ignore her.. Why don't u call ur dad and sister over when she's not around..?

christinad612
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:37 PM


Also, my bad. Just realized I threw that "if you wish" crap at you- wasn't on purpose, I swear :)

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I have an attorney. He told her she had to knock her shit off. Her attorney advised her to listen. It's to the point where I don't even have to call my attorney I just call hers and he explains to her all the legal issues she could face.


Quoting christinad612:

Id get a.free consult with an attorney to be sure but in most states grandparents have no legal rights to grandchildren. Write her a postmarked letter send one copy to her and one to the courthouse saying she's not welcome on your property,.that's the only way its legal other than saying it.directly.in front of a police officer (been there done that). Change your phone number after that and worry about.your family. If she comes.to.your property you can then.have her charged if you wish. Or at least.call and ask.that an officer show up and tell her she has to leave. But no way would I allow her around my daughter. Its not.about.her its about what's good for.your kid. Period. Keep records of everything that happens. Good luck.



teeloffel
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:52 PM

I am so sorry you had to go through that.  She's your bio mother though, or adoptive mother (not like that really matters - no excuse for what she did to you)?  

I really think you and everyone else in your family woudl be better off if you cut her out of your life. Make it known that your father and whomever else is welcome, but that your mother is not and never will be.  Then stick to it. 


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

This is my dad in a nutshell. hes the quiet guy, who doesn't like confrontation, works hard, is friendly with everybody and stays out of trouble.
He adopted me when I was 7. He was a much better choice than bio dad. But I think because we aren't blood he's always just stood to the side and let my mom handle me, for fear of stepping on toes. My half siblings have a completely different type of relationship with my mother. My sister remembers my mom throwing me into doors and kicking me in the ribs, so she knows I'm not crazy, but my brother was too little by the time I moved out so he is completely brainwashed into thinking I've made this all up. My dad just wants his family I.e. his kids to get through school, and then he plans to divorce her. After seeing the toll divorce took on me he's in no rush to do it to them.


Quoting Bird16_J:

I'm so sorry momma! She's definitely toxic!!! Keep your poor daughter away from that cunt and she keep her cut from your life! Seriously if my spouse beat my child like that I would've divorced them in a heart beat! Sad your dad stays with a child abuser!!! Just block her completely from your life and call it good! I've done that with my oldest sister and life has been WONDERFUL and drama free! I LOVE it! Good luck and just stay strong!




Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:13 AM
This is the fiesta time in her life she doesn't have total control over someone and I know it irritated her but I honestly just don't care. She won't show up at my house, we've had that battle. Dh told her flat out we know our rights and this is our property and she has to stay off it. That was 6 months ago and she hasn't tried anything.



I feel awful for my dad its killing him not to see his granddaughter but we have had our talks and he responds " you know how crazy your mom is, and you have the power to step up to her, tell her how you feel, don't let her run your life you're an adult." Its reassuring to have his support, however hidden he may have to keep it



Quoting christinad612:


In this case, and I know it's hard because it's your mom, I'd take further legal action. You're definitely within your rights to do so. I've had to call the police on my dad more than once and refuse to take my daughter to see them. It sucks for my mom because she's done nothing wrong but I can't have my daughter around my dad's shit- but it's easier for me because I live 60 miles away. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but it's time to do whatever you have to in order to protect your family. If she cannot respect legal boundaries, that sounds almost more like a stalker and needs to be dealt with. Private message me anytime you need to vent or anything, I have been there and know how hard it is.



Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I have an attorney. He told her she had to knock her shit off. Her attorney advised her to listen. It's to the point where I don't even have to call my attorney I just call hers and he explains to her all the legal issues she could face.









Quoting christinad612:

Id get a.free consult with an attorney to be sure but in most states grandparents have no legal rights to grandchildren. Write her a postmarked letter send one copy to her and one to the courthouse saying she's not welcome on your property,.that's the only way its legal other than saying it.directly.in front of a police officer (been there done that). Change your phone number after that and worry about.your family. If she comes.to.your property you can then.have her charged if you wish. Or at least.call and ask.that an officer show up and tell her she has to leave. But no way would I allow her around my daughter. Its not.about.her its about what's good for.your kid. Period. Keep records of everything that happens. Good luck.









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Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:07 AM
This is how deep rooted the bullshit is:

My dad is completely non confrontational. They've been married 17 1/2 years. He just wants to keep the peace. He talked to dh one day and he basically said after my brother, who is the youngest, 13, graduates, if she hasn't changed, which is looking like is the path, he will probably file for divorce. In the mean time, he spends a lot of time at work, in the basement, in the garage, or "napping" with the tv on in the bedroom. She is always in the living room. Never fails. The reason he is like this is to keep the peace. My mother is aggressive, manipulative, sarcastic, and likeable. It's a very dangerous combination. She can pretty much wrap anybody around her finger using blame, talking shit, whatever. All with this I'm better than that other person, look down your nose attitude. So he doesn't want to nor know how to deal with mind games, so he avoids conflict with her all together as do most people who know her. I used to be like this. I try really hard not to be.
Anyway, that's why he can't come. And my sister isn't allowed to come over as long as dh is here, which is absurd, because dh and my mom had some big ass fucking blow out the day we moved, because of course it was like 97 degrees out and humid and we were all stressed out.... And we were lifting heavy furniture.... Awesome. So dh and I were at each others throats and my mom freaked out and got in his face and was screaming nose to nose because supposedly he said something to my brother, and he didn't, he said it to me and my brother heard it. He told my mom and she twisted it to well he said it to my brother. So anyway she's screaming at him and at the time he was just sitting in the living room taking a break, not bothering anybody. And he stood up and told her she needed to get out of his face. Out of no where she starts screaming that he's threatening her and she's going to call the police if he doesn't leave, now remember we've been moving all day, and he shouts "you can't kick me out of my own house!" I stood there and watched the whole thing like Wtf. Finally I told them both they had some valid points and they had some stupid points just going back and forth at each other. Now just leave each other alone. So my mom starts grabbing her stuff, tells my sister to get in the car, looks at me and tells me her children (last I checked I was one of her children but ok) her children are not allowed at my house as long as he's there, and then she says "remember, I loved you" who says that?
So that nixed my sister.
Them she ran around and told everyone what a monster he is and all this garbage acting like he's some crazy abusive guy, which is NOT the case. But my bd used to abuse her, though I've seen her in action and I'm sure she had a good hand in starting a lot. so she automatically thinks every guy who gets mad beats his wife. she's like " I heard what he was saying I can imagine what its like when we aren't here" insinuating he hits me. For the record, he doesn't. In fact it was the first fight we had in a long time and with everything going on, the heat, my mom nit picking, we both reached our boiling point. Was it mature? No. But it went on. But we used our words like adults, nothing got broken, nobody was touched...what do you want? She makes everyone around her dysfunctional.


Quoting xoch86:

That conversation would have end at her sob story.dont respond to that. Don't acknowledge it. Just ignore. She WANTS you to be the bad person, don't give Hera reason to make u the bad person. Simply reply with, "we just  need some space", and just ignore her.. Why don't u call ur dad and sister over when she's not around..?


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:11 AM
This.

Quoting teeloffel:

Just cut off communication. Grandparents do NOT have rights. Being a grandparent is a PRIVILEGE. 

littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:13 AM

crying Poor baby. Getting beaten like that. Your mom is awful.

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

This is my dad in a nutshell. hes the quiet guy, who doesn't like confrontation, works hard, is friendly with everybody and stays out of trouble.
He adopted me when I was 7. He was a much better choice than bio dad. But I think because we aren't blood he's always just stood to the side and let my mom handle me, for fear of stepping on toes. My half siblings have a completely different type of relationship with my mother. My sister remembers my mom throwing me into doors and kicking me in the ribs, so she knows I'm not crazy, but my brother was too little by the time I moved out so he is completely brainwashed into thinking I've made this all up. My dad just wants his family I.e. his kids to get through school, and then he plans to divorce her. After seeing the toll divorce took on me he's in no rush to do it to them.


Quoting Bird16_J:

I'm so sorry momma! She's definitely toxic!!! Keep your poor daughter away from that cunt and she keep her cut from your life! Seriously if my spouse beat my child like that I would've divorced them in a heart beat! Sad your dad stays with a child abuser!!! Just block her completely from your life and call it good! I've done that with my oldest sister and life has been WONDERFUL and drama free! I LOVE it! Good luck and just stay strong!



momof2891
by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:17 AM
Wow! She sounds like my mom. Although my mom isn't that 24/7. I would def keep her out of y'all's life. Your dd doesn't need to be exposed to that kind of toxic behavior. Good luck!
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Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:20 AM
Here's the twist. Normally by now I would have tried being friendly and she would be cool as hell, for like, 3 months, and then she will start something. It's so bipolar.


Quoting momof2891:

Wow! She sounds like my mom. Although my mom isn't that 24/7. I would def keep her out of y'all's life. Your dd doesn't need to be exposed to that kind of toxic behavior. Good luck!

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Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:22 AM
I mean, I'm over it, now its the mind games that have to be dealt with. So I'm shutting her out.


Quoting littlesippycup:

crying Poor baby. Getting beaten like that. Your mom is awful.

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

This is my dad in a nutshell. hes the quiet guy, who doesn't like confrontation, works hard, is friendly with everybody and stays out of trouble.

He adopted me when I was 7. He was a much better choice than bio dad. But I think because we aren't blood he's always just stood to the side and let my mom handle me, for fear of stepping on toes. My half siblings have a completely different type of relationship with my mother. My sister remembers my mom throwing me into doors and kicking me in the ribs, so she knows I'm not crazy, but my brother was too little by the time I moved out so he is completely brainwashed into thinking I've made this all up. My dad just wants his family I.e. his kids to get through school, and then he plans to divorce her. After seeing the toll divorce took on me he's in no rush to do it to them.





Quoting Bird16_J:

I'm so sorry momma! She's definitely toxic!!! Keep your poor daughter away from that cunt and she keep her cut from your life! Seriously if my spouse beat my child like that I would've divorced them in a heart beat! Sad your dad stays with a child abuser!!! Just block her completely from your life and call it good! I've done that with my oldest sister and life has been WONDERFUL and drama free! I LOVE it! Good luck and just stay strong!





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