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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

shouldn't he pay his own way??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So with my bonus at work this year...I'm driving my kids to Disneyland.. I was worried about driving alone... my boyfriend asked me why he wasn't going. Well..he can if he comes up with about $800. Problem is..he doesn't have a good job and that could be alot for him. So we get in a fight..he thinks since we live together...it's our money and it should go to all of us going on this trip. Well..he's not my kids dad...and its not out money. I make significantly more than him..he makes enough to pay for his 1/4 off the household bills and that's it. I was here before I met him...so I don't depend on his money..and I don't feel like my work bonus should be spent on him. He's hurt and I feel bad...but if he doesn't pay...we're going alone. An I completely wrong??
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Replies (11-20):
Kat31
by AlwaysWatching on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:19 PM
2 moms liked this
That's sad you don't consider him part of your family :( How long have you been together?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
stargazerwolf
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:20 PM

Wow I think that's kinda rude, no offense. Me and my boyfriend live together and I stay at home and he works. I'd be upset if he was taking the kids the Disney and wouldn't let me go unless I came up with the money...We do have one kid together but the other isn't his, he just treats her like she is his. It is OUR money in HIS opinion, and he wouldn't even think of leaving me behind like that... how long have you guys been together?

 

xoch86
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:20 PM


Agreed..

Quoting Kim042269:

I don't think there's a wrong or a right here...it's your decision, and the consequences will also be yours.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:21 PM
I'm committed to him..we have lived together 2.5 years... but I don't like the idea of him not being financially stable and don't feel like I should have to pay his way. It my work bonus...


Quoting RLT2:

Why do you have a man living with you and your children that you aren't committed to? IF you were truly committed it wouldn't be a "money" issue, it would be a spending time together issue. It sounds like you resent him for his financial situation and therefore your respect for him has suffered.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:21 PM

I agree with you.  Just because you live together does not mean everything becomes "ours".

I do stuff with my kids all the time and my SO isn't bothered by it at all.

Beth3721
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Why does he have to pay 800?  Surely it won't cost 800 dollars extra to let him sit in the car.  Make him pay for his stuff while there.

boys2men2soon
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:22 PM

Nope.    If he wants to go, he needs to contribute.    His reasoning is flawed.   If you live together and it is both your money.....then he should be paying half of household expenses. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:22 PM
6 moms liked this
I would dump you like a hot potato. Seriously 2 years and you can't take him on a family vacation?
unspecified42
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:22 PM
9 moms liked this
I'm baffled as to why you would live with this man (especially since you have kids) but yet not be committed enough to him to pay for him to go on vacation with your family. I couldn't imagine having that kind of shallow relationship, especially bringing kids into the picture. If money is more important to you than having your boyfriend come on a family trip, I think that days a while lot about your relationship and priorities.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this
we're not like that...I could never live off him...and I don't want him living off me. Plus we don't have kids together.

I also wouldn't allow him to help financially support kids that are not his...that's why he only pays 1/4 off the bills...I pay for me and my kids.


Quoting stargazerwolf:

Wow I think that's kinda rude, no offense. Me and my boyfriend live together and I stay at home and he works. I'd be upset if he was taking the kids the Disney and wouldn't let me go unless I came up with the money...We do have one kid together but the other isn't his, he just treats her like she is his. It is OUR money in HIS opinion, and he wouldn't even think of leaving me behind like that... how long have you guys been together?


 


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