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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

shouldn't he pay his own way??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So with my bonus at work this year...I'm driving my kids to Disneyland.. I was worried about driving alone... my boyfriend asked me why he wasn't going. Well..he can if he comes up with about $800. Problem is..he doesn't have a good job and that could be alot for him. So we get in a fight..he thinks since we live together...it's our money and it should go to all of us going on this trip. Well..he's not my kids dad...and its not out money. I make significantly more than him..he makes enough to pay for his 1/4 off the household bills and that's it. I was here before I met him...so I don't depend on his money..and I don't feel like my work bonus should be spent on him. He's hurt and I feel bad...but if he doesn't pay...we're going alone. An I completely wrong??
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this
This

Quoting Anonymous:

I would dump you like a hot potato. Seriously 2 years and you can't take him on a family vacation?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM
You are setting up this relationship for failure. You keep continuing desperately and that us exactly what you will be.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM
my kids are not his...


Quoting unspecified42:

I'm baffled as to why you would live with this man (especially since you have kids) but yet not be committed enough to him to pay for him to go on vacation with your family.

KYLIEAARONMOMMY
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM
I agree with this.

Quoting RLT2:

Why do you have a man living with you and your children that you aren't committed to? IF you were truly committed it wouldn't be a "money" issue, it would be a spending time together issue. It sounds like you resent him for his financial situation and therefore your respect for him has suffered.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
RLT2
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this

 I get it. That's why I said that you resent him for it, even if you haven't told him or admitted it to yourself. It's not a money issue, it's really not.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm committed to him..we have lived together 2.5 years... but I don't like the idea of him not being financially stable and don't feel like I should have to pay his way. It my work bonus...


Quoting RLT2:

Why do you have a man living with you and your children that you aren't committed to? IF you were truly committed it wouldn't be a "money" issue, it would be a spending time together issue. It sounds like you resent him for his financial situation and therefore your respect for him has suffered.



 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:24 PM
4 moms liked this
After 2+ years in a committed relationship,my feelings would be very hurt if I was in his position. It doesn't make anyone wrong or right, it's just sad....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:24 PM
2.5 years


Quoting Kat31:

That's sad you don't consider him part of your family :( How long have you been together?

aleatra.r
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:24 PM
I agree


Quoting RLT2:

Why do you have a man living with you and your children that you aren't committed to? IF you were truly committed it wouldn't be a "money" issue, it would be a spending time together issue. It sounds like you resent him for his financial situation and therefore your respect for him has suffered.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommaoftwo
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:25 PM
1 mom liked this

You do not sound terribly committed to the relationship. I would see it as "family time". Why $800? You would drive down together and stay in the same room, it wouldn't cost you any extra except his ticket to get in, and food. Which I would say "hey, I was budgeting for just me and the kids, you're more then welcome to come, but I can't afford your park ticket or food." 

unspecified42
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:25 PM
3 moms liked this
I have no clue what relevance that has. Does that mean that you don't consider him family and he doesn't consider your kids family? If so, that's truly sad.


Quoting Anonymous:

my kids are not his...




Quoting unspecified42:

I'm baffled as to why you would live with this man (especially since you have kids) but yet not be committed enough to him to pay for him to go on vacation with your family.


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