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shouldn't he pay his own way??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So with my bonus at work this year...I'm driving my kids to Disneyland.. I was worried about driving alone... my boyfriend asked me why he wasn't going. Well..he can if he comes up with about $800. Problem is..he doesn't have a good job and that could be alot for him. So we get in a fight..he thinks since we live together...it's our money and it should go to all of us going on this trip. Well..he's not my kids dad...and its not out money. I make significantly more than him..he makes enough to pay for his 1/4 off the household bills and that's it. I was here before I met him...so I don't depend on his money..and I don't feel like my work bonus should be spent on him. He's hurt and I feel bad...but if he doesn't pay...we're going alone. An I completely wrong??
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Replies (301-309):
SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:11 PM
Just because hes there and she isnt paying his way doesnt mean the relationship is doomed
What kind of crap is that?
Lol

Ever think its a way so that he doesnt take advantage of her too?
Just like many couples do to their spouses.

That an entitlement way of thinking
The... Because im your spouse or SO you HAVE to pay my way
If anything it can make the relationship stronger so neither feel like the other HAS to.
It shouldnt be expected
Quoting Anonymous:

No I'm talking about the bigger issue here. If she was in this relationship for long haul she wouldn't be splitting hairs over who brings what to the table in terms of income. That's like saying a SAHM shouldn't go on a family vacation because she cant pay for herself. This relationship is doomed to fail and it's wrong to have someone living there with her kids if it's going nowhere anyway. I can tell by her attitude toward him she doesn't care about him.



Quoting SnapIt:

Lol just because she doesnt want to pay his trip to disney???





Lmao






Quoting Anonymous:

It doesn't sound like you give a shit about him and not planning for him to be in the picture long term. Why are exposing your kids to this?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I was a single mom for a long time...and I work hard for what I have... I think I am protective of my stuff/money..I need to be sure I always have what I need for me and my kids... Because I can't depend on a man to be around...I need to be self sufficient... I would like my man to be too. Doesn't mean I don't love him...I just don't want to take from my kids for him. I don't want to downsize their vacation to pay for him to go. It's not fair to them.... I want him to pay for his part.


Quoting SnapIt:

Just because hes there and she isnt paying his way doesnt mean the relationship is doomed
What kind of crap is that?
Lol

Ever think its a way so that he doesnt take advantage of her too?
Just like many couples do to their spouses.

That an entitlement way of thinking
The... Because im your spouse or SO you HAVE to pay my way
If anything it can make the relationship stronger so neither feel like the other HAS to.
It shouldnt be expected
Quoting Anonymous:

No I'm talking about the bigger issue here. If she was in this relationship for long haul she wouldn't be splitting hairs over who brings what to the table in terms of income. That's like saying a SAHM shouldn't go on a family vacation because she cant pay for herself. This relationship is doomed to fail and it's wrong to have someone living there with her kids if it's going nowhere anyway. I can tell by her attitude toward him she doesn't care about him.




Quoting SnapIt:

Lol just because she doesnt want to pay his trip to disney???





Lmao








Quoting Anonymous:

It doesn't sound like you give a shit about him and not planning for him to be in the picture long term. Why are exposing your kids to this?


nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:18 PM
I would never expect my boyfriend to pay 800$ so I could go to disneyland with him and his kids. Thats a lot of money ESP if he's barely pulling his own weight as it is.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:21 PM
my kids....


Quoting nocalmegan:

I would never expect my boyfriend to pay 800$ so I could go to disneyland with him and his kids. Thats a lot of money ESP if he's barely pulling his own weight as it is.

nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:29 PM
I know. He's expecting you to pay his way for a trip for you and YOUR kids. If the tables were turned I could never expect my boyfriend to pay my way for a rtip for him and HIS kids is what I meant.


Quoting Anonymous:

my kids....




Quoting nocalmegan:

I would never expect my boyfriend to pay 800$ so I could go to disneyland with him and his kids. Thats a lot of money ESP if he's barely pulling his own weight as it is.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:46 PM
Ok...I understand!!


Quoting nocalmegan:

I know. He's expecting you to pay his way for a trip for you and YOUR kids. If the tables were turned I could never expect my boyfriend to pay my way for a rtip for him and HIS kids is what I meant.




Quoting Anonymous:

my kids....






Quoting nocalmegan:

I would never expect my boyfriend to pay 800$ so I could go to disneyland with him and his kids. Thats a lot of money ESP if he's barely pulling his own weight as it is.



nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:57 PM
I asked dh what he thought too. He agrees with you. He said it's a bit sad your boyfriend is expecting you to pay his way and that if he wants to go he should man up and pay his own way. ESP for that large of an amount.


Quoting Anonymous:

Ok...I understand!!




Quoting nocalmegan:

I know. He's expecting you to pay his way for a trip for you and YOUR kids. If the tables were turned I could never expect my boyfriend to pay my way for a rtip for him and HIS kids is what I meant.






Quoting Anonymous:

my kids....








Quoting nocalmegan:

I would never expect my boyfriend to pay 800$ so I could go to disneyland with him and his kids. Thats a lot of money ESP if he's barely pulling his own weight as it is.




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:58 PM
yes! I'm not rich...and he has time to save..


Quoting nocalmegan:

I asked dh what he thought too. He agrees with you. He said it's a bit sad your boyfriend is expecting you to pay his way and that if he wants to go he should man up and pay his own way. ESP for that large of an amount.




Quoting Anonymous:

Ok...I understand!!






Quoting nocalmegan:

I know. He's expecting you to pay his way for a trip for you and YOUR kids. If the tables were turned I could never expect my boyfriend to pay my way for a rtip for him and HIS kids is what I meant.








Quoting Anonymous:

my kids....










Quoting nocalmegan:

I would never expect my boyfriend to pay 800$ so I could go to disneyland with him and his kids. Thats a lot of money ESP if he's barely pulling his own weight as it is.





nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:05 AM
Yup and if Its important to him he will save, if he was just hoping for a free vacation he won't.


Quoting Anonymous:

yes! I'm not rich...and he has time to save..




Quoting nocalmegan:

I asked dh what he thought too. He agrees with you. He said it's a bit sad your boyfriend is expecting you to pay his way and that if he wants to go he should man up and pay his own way. ESP for that large of an amount.






Quoting Anonymous:

Ok...I understand!!








Quoting nocalmegan:

I know. He's expecting you to pay his way for a trip for you and YOUR kids. If the tables were turned I could never expect my boyfriend to pay my way for a rtip for him and HIS kids is what I meant.










Quoting Anonymous:

my kids....












Quoting nocalmegan:

I would never expect my boyfriend to pay 800$ so I could go to disneyland with him and his kids. Thats a lot of money ESP if he's barely pulling his own weight as it is.






Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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