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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

shouldn't he pay his own way??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So with my bonus at work this year...I'm driving my kids to Disneyland.. I was worried about driving alone... my boyfriend asked me why he wasn't going. Well..he can if he comes up with about $800. Problem is..he doesn't have a good job and that could be alot for him. So we get in a fight..he thinks since we live together...it's our money and it should go to all of us going on this trip. Well..he's not my kids dad...and its not out money. I make significantly more than him..he makes enough to pay for his 1/4 off the household bills and that's it. I was here before I met him...so I don't depend on his money..and I don't feel like my work bonus should be spent on him. He's hurt and I feel bad...but if he doesn't pay...we're going alone. An I completely wrong??
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Replies (31-40):
TeamTARDIS
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:26 PM
2 moms liked this

I would expect him not to be there when you got back. Why should a guy stick around if you obviously don't care or want to spend time with him?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:26 PM
it costs more for a double room...food will cost more...all the eating out...a 4 day pass to Disneyland...midevil Times isn't cheap...


Quoting Beth3721:

Why does he have to pay 800?  Surely it won't cost 800 dollars extra to let him sit in the car.  Make him pay for his stuff while there.


nerdymom28
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:26 PM
3 moms liked this
It sounds like you resent him for being broke and you don't have a lot of respect for him. You talk as if he's worthless to you. If I were him I would have been long gone by now.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommaoftwo
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:27 PM
2 moms liked this

They aren't saying that the kids are his, but that you have someone living with you, and your kids, which is a totally different level of "serious" then if you were a single woman.


Quoting Anonymous:

my kids are not his...


Quoting unspecified42:

I'm baffled as to why you would live with this man (especially since you have kids) but yet not be committed enough to him to pay for him to go on vacation with your family.



Mommy of FIVE!!!



Tara~12.16.03  Zachary~5.17.05  Rowan~1.17.09  Willow~8/10/11  Soren~ 1/28/13

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:27 PM
1 mom liked this
wellll....I don't take half because I refuse to allow him to contribute anything to the care of my kids...although I'm not sure he could do half....



Quoting boys2men2soon:

Nope.    If he wants to go, he needs to contribute.    His reasoning is flawed.   If you live together and it is both your money.....then he should be paying half of household expenses. 


QueenBof6
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:28 PM
2 moms liked this
Meh. If it was me I would take him. If I'm committed enough to live with and have my kids share their lives with him money wouldn't be an issue.

But hey. If you feel that way so be it. There's nothing wrong with it. It is your money.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:28 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 If and until you are married, it's your money not joint money. You have the right to do with it what you want.

 

mommaoftwo
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:29 PM

I think she thought you meant  "especially because you have kids together"


Quoting unspecified42:

I have no clue what relevance that has. Does that mean that you don't consider him family and he doesn't consider your kids family? If so, that's truly sad.


Quoting Anonymous:

my kids are not his...




Quoting unspecified42:

I'm baffled as to why you would live with this man (especially since you have kids) but yet not be committed enough to him to pay for him to go on vacation with your family.




Mommy of FIVE!!!



Tara~12.16.03  Zachary~5.17.05  Rowan~1.17.09  Willow~8/10/11  Soren~ 1/28/13

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:29 PM
double room...food..tickets...it's not cheap.


Quoting mommaoftwo:

You do not sound terribly committed to the relationship. I would see it as "family time". Why $800? You would drive down together and stay in the same room, it wouldn't cost you any extra except his ticket to get in, and food. Which I would say "hey, I was budgeting for just me and the kids, you're more then welcome to come, but I can't afford your park ticket or food." 


mommaoftwo
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:30 PM

It sounds like you will always hold any man at least an arm's length away from you. He is a strong man to put up with your attitude.


Quoting Anonymous:

wellll....I don't take half because I refuse to allow him to contribute anything to the care of my kids...although I'm not sure he could do half....



Quoting boys2men2soon:

Nope.    If he wants to go, he needs to contribute.    His reasoning is flawed.   If you live together and it is both your money.....then he should be paying half of household expenses. 




Mommy of FIVE!!!



Tara~12.16.03  Zachary~5.17.05  Rowan~1.17.09  Willow~8/10/11  Soren~ 1/28/13

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