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shouldn't he pay his own way??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So with my bonus at work this year...I'm driving my kids to Disneyland.. I was worried about driving alone... my boyfriend asked me why he wasn't going. Well..he can if he comes up with about $800. Problem is..he doesn't have a good job and that could be alot for him. So we get in a fight..he thinks since we live's our money and it should go to all of us going on this trip. Well..he's not my kids dad...and its not out money. I make significantly more than him..he makes enough to pay for his 1/4 off the household bills and that's it. I was here before I met I don't depend on his money..and I don't feel like my work bonus should be spent on him. He's hurt and I feel bad...but if he doesn't pay...we're going alone. An I completely wrong??
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Replies (41-50):
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:30 PM
7 moms liked this

I think that you are entitled to do what you want with your money, but I also think that your choice to exclude your boyfriend is extremely sad. I would seriously consider whether or not you see a future with this person and if not, don't lead him on and waste his time and yours. 

I can tell you that I personally would do everything in my power to ensure that my significant other, married or not, father of my children or not, was included, even if it meant adjusting my travel plans. I feel as though my relationship should be my priority, not money.

by Anonymous 12 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:30 PM
With this attitude why should he pay half the bills? They are your kids?
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:31 PM
I'm just going to slowly back out of this post...
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:31 PM
Why would that be ok?
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:31 PM

We share everything ya partially because we have a kid together but I stay home because when I was working I would barely make anything after paying daycare for 2 kids. We decided together that I'd stay home because it was pointless in me basically making no money after paying daycare. Our daughter is 9 months and I had gone back to work when she was only 8 weeks, but it is better for me to be home with them (my other daughter is 4) anyway.  Even if I was working if I got a bonus at work I'd pay his way. I'm getting a big tax return and his tax return is about half of mine, I'm paying a good portion of his bills (credit card, an old phone bill etc) with it, I'm also paying for us to go have a little fun as well as taking care of some of our joint bills. If we had enough left over for a trip to Disney I wouldn't think twice about paying everyone's way (though we wouldnt go yet since our baby is only 9 months).

I get why he only pays 1/4 of the bills but I don't understand why you don't want him to come seem very resentful and that is not a good thing to be in a relationship.

Quoting Anonymous:

we're not like that...I could never live off him...and I don't want him living off me. Plus we don't have kids together.

I also wouldn't allow him to help financially support kids that are not his...that's why he only pays 1/4 off the bills...I pay for me and my kids.

Quoting stargazerwolf:

Wow I think that's kinda rude, no offense. Me and my boyfriend live together and I stay at home and he works. I'd be upset if he was taking the kids the Disney and wouldn't let me go unless I came up with the money...We do have one kid together but the other isn't his, he just treats her like she is his. It is OUR money in HIS opinion, and he wouldn't even think of leaving me behind like that... how long have you guys been together?



by :::Achtung::: on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:32 PM
3 moms liked this

You're living with someone...oh crap, there is just too much here. If you need to protect your money that much you shouldn't be living with him.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:32 PM
he considers us family... but I don't think I have to pay for him because of that. I'm already spending most of my bonus just on tickets and the room and rental car. Paying for him too would put me way over budget. I have to pay.for gas...and food for the kids and I..and souvenirs to...

Quoting unspecified42:

I have no clue what relevance that has. Does that mean that you don't consider him family and he doesn't consider your kids family? If so, that's truly sad.

Quoting Anonymous:

my kids are not his...

Quoting unspecified42:

I'm baffled as to why you would live with this man (especially since you have kids) but yet not be committed enough to him to pay for him to go on vacation with your family.

by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Okay... I already said tell him to pay for his own ticket and food. Personally I wouldn't get anything less then a double room anyway. 

I don't think it matters what any of us say, you believe that you are correct and you were looking for validation, unfortunately I think most of us do not think that your logic is appropriate.

Quoting Anonymous:

double's not cheap.

Quoting mommaoftwo:

You do not sound terribly committed to the relationship. I would see it as "family time". Why $800? You would drive down together and stay in the same room, it wouldn't cost you any extra except his ticket to get in, and food. Which I would say "hey, I was budgeting for just me and the kids, you're more then welcome to come, but I can't afford your park ticket or food." 

Mommy of FIVE!!!

Tara~12.16.03  Zachary~5.17.05  Rowan~1.17.09  Willow~8/10/11  Soren~ 1/28/13

by Anonymous 13 on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:32 PM

I agree with you.

by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:33 PM

If he doesn't have much rent to pay or bills, even if he doesn't make much money, what does he blow it on? Or does he really only make enough to pay his 1/4 of your bills and nothing else? Does he work full time?

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